Should a 5 year old boy walk around a neighborhood by himself?

[bleedingheart]

Poll question: Should a 5 year old boy walk around a neighborhood by himself?

I just spotted the neighbor's kid walking down the street, looking for his brother.

This boy is big for 5 (he is tall) and he is a bit rough around the edges...

I asked him what he was doing and he told me.."looking for my brother". I told him that he should go home now because people are coming home from work and the road would be getting more busy. He said..."No..I am looking for my brother".

This is a common occurrence for this family. This kid is too big for me to lift up and take home...and since this happens all the time when I am at work and not able to see what is going on ...I am a bit flummoxed as to what to do.

The parents are goofy...and if I go up there and tell them.."get your kid back home he is only 5 and shouldn't be wandering about!!!!!"...I am sure I will get an earfull from them..

[fob]

1. NO. EFFING. WAY.

[BBradley]

2. Meh, I used to walk around my neighborhood in Berlin when I was 5...

[LoZoccolo]

13. I did too.

We had a cool neighborhood - it was new and lots of people were raising kids around my age. It's almost as if the neighborhood was one big family.

[flamingyouth]

3. I would call the police

That is a hazardous situation. :scared:

[Cocoa]

4. only if he's not a cat

[Debi]

5. It's good of you to at least keep an eye on him

Hope he stays safe!

[bleedingheart]

6. I frustrates me...

I have been working from home today, in fact my husband went to pick my kids up from their afterschool programs...and I go out to get the mail and I see that little boy wandering down a busy residential street.

[LuminousX]

7. It takes a village

Hopefully one day we can get back to a country where kids can roam free and the community as a whole looks after them. I know when I was 5 I was everywhere, but I lived in the country and had neighbors who kept track of me. I know because if I did something I wasn't supposed to do, my parents knew about it by the time I got home.

[Xithras]

8. Depends on where you live.

I grew up in a little town with a few thousand people. At five we used to wander all over town, and many kids still do. In a bigger city, no effing way. To many pervs on the planet.

[MissB]

9. Uh, nope. I'd say call social services

Children's services division - whatever it is called. 5 is too young.

Are you sure about the parents? I would want to know before someone called social services, but that's just me. :shrug:

[bleedingheart]

11. i can tell you right now that the parents don't care...

they have a house full of kids and this happens all the time...

I had to return the 2 year old home last summer...This summer should be a real kicker...

[MissB]

16. Eeks. I'd call, then.

It may well be that this family has already had contact with social services. Sounds like there is a history here.

[bleedingheart]

25. I called, there are no rules in our county ...

it is all based on the child's maturity level. According to them, if the kid is a mature 5 then it would be deemed okay...

I did not report the case for the moment but if it continues I may do so...

[MissB]

28. If they aren't responsive, how about the sheriff's dept?

Young, lost kid and all that.

I just think it sucks that a 5 yo would be out wandering. Wugh.

[bleedingheart]

33. I am going to keep an eye on him for now and then jot it down on

my calendar....

I think the poor mite wants attention.....meanwhile my eldest just came home and ignored me....but then again he is also at the age where he doesn't like to be hugged in public...

[MollyStark]

26. I usually would not suggest this

Maybe you should call social services. They don't have to be hard on the parents but they can suggest they keep the kids under better supervision.

[bleedingheart]

30. I called for info and for now I am not reporting it

but I worry about those kids.

[mcscajun]

10. And how old is the brother?

Man, that one's got me curious...older brother or younger?

[bleedingheart]

12. 8

[AlCzervik]

14. My neighbor kids who is all of 4 1/2 is out in the neighborhood

by himself a lot. I came home last week and he was hiding behine a untility box, i thought he was playing hide and seek with his sisters until i realized there weren't any seekers around. i ask him if he's out by himself and he says yes, i ask him if his mother knows this and he says yes. I tell him to go inside and he says no, i tell him i'll stand there with him until he does and after 5 minutes or so he went in. Now we live on a cul de sac and hardly anyone is home during the day and there are many times that people use our street to turn around, if he got snatched no one would even know until it was way too late.

[bleedingheart]

18. This is a large development with mostly retirees and people

who work all day...

The street that he was walking on is the main one into the community...and people do not obey the speed limit.

[wildeyed]

49. My daughter is 4-1/2.

No way she has the impulse control to be out on the street by herself. She is good and follows the rules most of the time, but every now and then she still tests the rules. And I am right there to be sure she doesn't run out into traffic or go with the nice man looking for his puppy.

[madaboutharry]

15. People are clueless

There is this boy, about 6-years old, that I see riding his bike alone in the street in my neighborhood. He has been out at dusk, riding on the main road into the neighborhood, while there are people driving home from work. I find it appalling.

[BBradley]

17. So at what age should children be allowed outside then?

[bleedingheart]

19. good question...at what age unsupervised is my concern?

[Lex]

20. Allowed outside? Or allowed to roam the neighborhood unsupervised?

Distinctly different scenarios, I'd say.

[BBradley]

23. I'm not trying to be argumentative.

While I had no problem going out to the neighborhood playground when I was 5 years old, I am genuinely asking at what age children should be allowed in the neighborhood unsupervised.

[redqueen]

29. I guess the short answer would be

at whatever age the parents think the kid can defend themselves against an attacker.

:shrug:

[MissB]

21. There is such a difference between being allowed outside

and being allowed to wander the neighborhood.

I feel pretty comfy letting my two kids run between my house and the next-door neighbors. They can play between the two yards pretty unsupervised.

But they're too young to wander the neighborhood alone. I'm thinking 9 or 10 is probably old enough/big enough to be out wandering the neighborhood without constant supervision.

At age 5, they're usually too short to really be seen by a car. Or they are too gullible.

[crispini]

22. Kids are out running around in my neighborhood all the time.

Of course, we live on a very quiet street, and they're usually a bit older than five. I'd say they're usually 10 or 12, boys, skating or riding their bikes or something.

[fishwax]

24. Depends on the neighborhood?

I grew up in a small town and in a neighborhood where my parents let me wander pretty freely. At the age of five and six I remember walking for several blocks to visit friends, etc. If I were a parent, it would depend entirely on the town/neighborhood.

[ContraBass Black]

27. At that age, I had the run of the sidewalk on my side of the street

On my block. Nothing more.

[bleedingheart]

31. I recall at that age I was limited to within one house away to visit

friends.

When I was about 9-10 I could wander but I had to tell my mother where I was going..to a friends, to walk the block ..etc.

Under no circumstances was I allowed to leave our housing development...which was rather large..one of those 50's style developments..

[tigereye]

34. hmmm

my h used to be out alone in his very small town at that age, to the local store, etc. But everyone knew everyone then. I played with neighbor kids and in the neighbors yard, but it was like one big family, again, everyone knew everyone.

However, I do not allow my son to wander around the neighborhood now and he is 8 - as there are few kids here and cars that go really fast up our hill. We know most of our neighbors, but it is a different world. I usually prefer he stay in the yard. I have never understood folks who don't know where their kids are and just let them wander around, esp. if it isn't safe.

[Bouncy Ball]

32. Just tell them this story:

There was a family on our old street who had a couple of boys. They were allowed to play outside all the time unsupervised.

The younger one was five and was riding his Big Wheel in the street "chasing" the garbage truck. The garbage truck had those giant double wheels in the back. The little boy thought he heard something and was looking backwards, while the garbage truck backed up because they missed a can. It backed up right over him, flattening him.

They brought in that helicopter to get him to the hospital, but he didn't stand a chance. He died moments into the flight.

My mother was allowed to play outside unsupervised and was hit right in the forehead by the fender of a car. She was in a coma for a month and her personality was never EVER the same. Her life has been hell.

But hey, if they don't care anymore than that for their child. Yeah, five years old is too young to be running around outside by himself. My kid is 10 and she only plays outside when there are other kids out. She is allowed to walk down to her friend's house, which is seven houses down, but I have to know that she's going and when she's coming back.

And she's TEN.

[marzipanni]

40. My son is ten and I prefer that he walk with a friend

In our town of ~15,000 people the library is 3 1/2 blocks away from our house. My son has shoulder-length blond hair and as he was walking to the library two men pulled their car alongside him and the one in the passenger seat motioned with his hand to come closer. My son scowled at them and briskly kept walking and they drove away. Later we walked to the police station and gave a policeman a description of the car and men, but he said they couldn't do anything about it, and didn't take a report. I just wanted them to know in case these guys were trying this with other kids.

[Jilly Beans]

35. I think I would have called the cops to take him home.

Let the cops wrestle him into the car and try to reason with his looney parents.

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. I used to walk alone when I was five around the neighborhood

also walked back and forth to kindergarten on my own.

Unless you're in a really unsafe area or something, I say, let the kids walk around by themselves. They need the experience, they need to be left alone, they need the confidence building that walking around alone will build.

I get tired of all the overly protective BS going on nowadays. I never had a helmet or elbow or knee pads for bike riding. We had steal playground equipment. I walked all over the neighborhood alone, and biked even further than that alone. When I was in elementary school, I would walk to and from school alone, and I was the last one out in the morning, so I was in charge of locking the house, and I was the first one home, so I was in charge of unlocking the house.

[MissB]

38. Did you chew the lead paint off your crib too?

:hi: Sorry, that comment is just a take-off of a chain email that goes around talking about how certain people survived childhood, despite the dangers.

Most of us survived childhood without seatbelts, too, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't buckle up. Helmets help prevent vegetative states, and little 5 year olds don't know how to protect themselves from asshats who try to lure them into vans with promises of puppies or kittens. Not to mention the typical 5 yo isn't tall enough to be seen by a car if they decide to dart between a couple of parked cars.

In most cities, there are laws about being left alone in the house under a certain age. Same thing with being left alone in a car in the parking lot. Same thing with wandering around all alone at a young age.

Doesn't matter how many millions of kids survived childhood despite the dangers. I don't go dropping my kid on his head to make sure that his head can survive a sudden fall of his bike. I strap a helmet to his head just in case.

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. Ha! My PACIFIER was made of lead!

my crib didn't have any lead paint because they just put a few plastic garbage bags on the floor for me to sleep in.

My parents wanted to make sure I could handle anything. :-)

[bleedingheart]

43. I bet you sucked the mercury out of the thermometers too!

hahaha

[Rabrrrrrr]

45. I did! My mom used to get really angry with me for that.

And I used to drink all her bourbon, then eat the bottle.

[liontamer]

37. depends on the neighborhood

and how far from home they're wandering. by the time I was 3 i was allowed to walk to a friend's house by myself, but she only lived a block away. I wasn't allowed to cross big streets by myself for years.

[Cuban_Liberal]

39. Not only 'no', but 'Hell no'!

:wtf: are this kids parents thinking, assuming that they ARE thinking, of course?

:wtf:

[bleedingheart]

41. not sure what they are thinking..

[Ellen Forradalom]

44. Generally speaking no

I have a five year old and I don't let him drift around the South Side of Chicago by himself.

[4_Legs_Good]

46. Kinda depends on the neighborhood...

5 isn't a baby. If it's a fairly slow community oriented neighborhood, then I don't see why it would be such a big deal, particularly if the kid knows how to cross a street and all that.

5 actually seems really old to be hand holding around your own neighborhood. Aren't they out riding bikes and playing tag by that age?

david

[48pan]

47. Not in this day and age. n/t

[Maine-ah]

48. I lived in s. florida for a couple of years

about a couple of months into living there, my roommate showed up with a 2 yr. old girl. Of course we said "what the fuck, dude" and called 911. the child had been walking down the road with the family dog (relatively quiet street for south fla) and the mother (on all sorts of shit, of course) had "fallen asleep" and the child had gotten out. She lived up the road.

[purr]

50. I live in a very tight nosy I know my neighbors know when I take

a dump neighborhood, and I wouldnt think of letting my 4 year old out and I dont see why it would be any different when hes 5 unsupervised.

I have a meth/heroin addict living in my aunts basement across the street from me. Has a beautiful 3 year old boy who I dont know if it was drug related or what, is autistic. She used to tell him when he was 2 "ok **** stay out here while mommy goes inside to fold clothes". He'd of course take off and she'd come out 10 min later while he was up on my porch with my kids yelling at him "I cant trust you **** for nothing!! You cant even stay where i tell you!!" Its amazing..

The kicker...

This December.. She comes up my house reeking of beer... knocks on my door "DID YOU SEE ****?" No. Why? Well I lost him.. You LOST HIM>? Yes.. WHERE?? Outside. He went out the door and I lost him. Meanwhile it was 10 deg out at the time. Where was he? Locked in his bedroom.

Nutjobs shouldnt have kids.

[Maine-ah]

52. oh , geez man

that is sad.... ;(

[fluffernutter]

51. dang, this breaks my heart

poor little guy :(

my 5yo son never leaves the fenced yard unless we are with him.

[Pithlet]

53. If this happens on a regular basis

You should probably call CPS. Kids get out sometimes. A couple of weeks ago my four year old got out and ran across the street to see the neighbor's dog. I was bathing my younger son, so didn't notice he was gone right away. Our neighbor brought him right back and I was mortified. We put an alarm that sounds when the door is opened, now. Things happen. But, if it happens over and over that kid isn't being supervised properly.

[libhill]

54. No way in hell

this world is full of weirdos and perverts - and his parents are fucking idiots. People like that should be forcibly sterilized.