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Excerps from a Cat's daily diary.

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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 09:56 AM
Original message
Excerps from a Cat's daily diary.


DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I
get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power
of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured, but I can wait,
it's only a matter of time...just a matter of time...


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theivoryqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 10:01 AM
Response to Original message
1. Funny! If you like dogs - here's something

"What social life would be like if people behaved like dogs."
(from the bark magazine)

http://www.thebark.com/ezine/features_specialFeatures/specialFeatures_02.html

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Bozita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 10:47 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. Superb .... Thanks
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Boudicea Donating Member (452 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 10:01 AM
Response to Original message
2. Dogs have owners, cats have a staff
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speckledgator Donating Member (232 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
3. I love this site
one minute thinking about anti-intectualism in the US, the next laughing my ass off...keep it light and remeber:
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 05:50 PM
Response to Original message
5. Kick
.
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