AP/Reuters - New information surrounding Gwen Stefani's death

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

AP/Reuters - More details have been surfacing about the tragically bizarre demise of Gwen Stefani, popular lead singer of the Anaheim based rock group No Doubt, who was discovered dead at her home several weeks ago. Witnesses to the incident say that Stefani, whose head was found to be stuck inside what appeared to be a child's dollhouse, was dressed in a zebra print kimono and a lime green wool sweater at the time of death. Former No Doubt bandmates Adrian Young, Tom Dumont and Tony Kanal issued a joint statement earlier this week.

"We do not wish to speculate on what caused Gwen's death. However, we cannot say that we didn't expect something like this to surface given the situation Gwen was in. The arrival of new influences into Gwen's life had a great impact on her creativity and sensibility. We noticed lately that her creativity was at an alltime low, especially after turning down every song she had wrote for our upcoming album. Apparently when the soul and creativity die, the body is not far behind."

Her bandmates also went on to comment on the attitude of Stefani shortly after she met up with four Japanese women, Love, Angel, Music and Baby.

"Her writing became largely nonsensical at that point", explains Kanal in an interview with Rolling Stone. "It was like she had forgotten English. Her contributions to the record were full of loose endings and unfinished business."

"Lots of synthesizers and weird voice distortions too.", added Young.

Stefani's new Japanese compadres had no official statement, except for an indirect comment to the Japanese press by a normally quiet Baby.

"Thiiis shiit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S." she said, as she blew up a bubble with her grape gum. "Bananas."

[hlthe2b]

1. ????

not funny....not funny at all...:eyes:

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

3. ok?

Someone's a lil grumpy tonight, eh?

[hlthe2b]

11. Perhaps....

I just am no fan of death notice send-ups.....

A parody of the demise of her talent, fine. This, though seems easily mistaken for the "real thing."

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

13. Presuming they can read...

There is nobody on earth with a brain that wouldn't recognize that it is satire.

[hlthe2b]

14. Sure...

Assuming one takes the time to read. NO matter-- to each his own....

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

15. Well, this is a message board...

I should hope the primary objective when clicking a post is to actually read it.

[Catholic Sensation]

18. it is ambiguous to people who read du in braille

blind people might not see it's satire... oops i mean "visually challenged"

[Catholic Sensation]

8. sorry, hlthe2b, but your response was incorrect

we were looking for "haha"

[Fenris]

2. I'm always mesmerized by her videos.

I cannot figure out what drugs she's on.

She's come a long way from No Doubt, and I ain't saying that's necessarily a positive.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

4. I'd say she's gotten worse.

I actually liked No Doubt's first studio release. The stuff she's putting out now as a solo artist bites.

[Fenris]

6. Yes. I wasn't going to take the risk and say that...

Not wanting to offend and all, but her solo stuff is awful. And now I have that damned "Hollaback Girl" "song" (and I use that term liberally here) stuck in my head. :banghead:

[CubsFan1982]

9. I blame you.

I didn't have that song stuck in my head until I read your post. So actually, that would make it my fault, then.

Dammit!

[Zuni]

21. she is terrible now, just terrible

[name not needed]

5. She's dead?

[MissB]

10. I was kinda hoping.

Her latest song sucks. Well, not *just* her latest.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

20. More like... the entire album?

:shrug:

[Catholic Sensation]

7. did she die a rich girl?

nananananananananananana

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

12. Of course

Cause she ain't no hollaback giiiirl!

[Catholic Sensation]

16. well she wasn't the last one standing

another one bites the dust :(

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

17. She's been around the track a few times.

nt

[dxstone]

19. Dead, huh?

...I'd still do 'er...

[FreepFryer]

22. This is an idiotic post. Get another (outdoor) hobby pronto. (n/t)

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

23. Wow.

Okay?

Methinks I'm not the one who needs to get out more. But yeah. Alright.

[FreepFryer]

25. There was little to laugh at, less to think about.. what else is satire?

Seriously - if you're gonna post a satirical 'death announcement' thread , make the discomfort worth it with an actual comedic point.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

27. You're spending time on this.

Why? Don't like it, move on. It's the Lounge. There are plenty of disposable topics for you to choose from.

If you don't want disposible topics, I suggest leaving the Lounge for one of the many wonderful topic forums.

Have a nice night. :)

[FreepFryer]

29. Ah, the last refuge of a bad poster - blaming the audience for no applause

Dude, get over it. Your post is barely worthy of the Internet, much less the lounge.

Amazing how anyone who calls you on your crappy post must themselves have a problem!

I suggest you study 'Philebus: The Tragedy and Comedy of Life' to see how satire is done.

Perhaps with years of work you could get a freelance gig at 'Cracked' or 'Wacky' magazine.

http://www.press.uchicago.edu/cgi-bin/hfs.cgi/00/12349.ctl

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

31. "Dude"... lighten up

It wasn't meant to be taken as some satirical work of art. It was just meant to illustrate how much of a suck fest Gwen Stefani is at this moment in the music scene. I don't care if you don't like my post, but I find it amusing you're spending so much time on it.

You said it was barely worthy of the internet, but it is worthy of your time on the Internet? Awesome!

[FreepFryer]

32. Oh, was that the point? Funny, it wasn't clear. Bad writing, mayhap?

Amazing how every one of your comments has to personalize about my response, rather than your post!

Love n' kisses.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

34. wow

Seek professional help immediately.

[FreepFryer]

36. I AM professional help. Shame you can't accept it, your post'd improve.

Have a lovely day.

[Catholic Sensation]

38. i didn't know there were doctorates in e-bitching

i am totally changing my major to that!

[FreepFryer]

41. Sounds good. 'Chill Out 101' & 'Math for Poets' musta been booked up, eh?

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

44. Sorry, I can't continue this conversation

I'm busy writing out thank you notes for the scholarships I just received, and your post ranks pretty much at the bottom in the response queue.

[Catholic Sensation]

47. Yeah, but they are more electives in my present major

How goes your graduate level Anal Steel Pole Insertion class?

[FreepFryer]

48. Clever.

{edit: And so Catholic.}

[Catholic Sensation]

50. Calling someone a stiff isn't anti-catholic

but I forgive you for your ignorance. That is Catholic

[FreepFryer]

51. Fixating on anal violations is curiously familiar to, e.g., Inquisitors.

Must run in the family.

[Catholic Sensation]

52. three questions

1. do you know not about the term of someone having a steel pole up their ass when they are exceedingly unwilling to loosen up?

2. What planet are you from?

3. What is its climate like?

[FreepFryer]

53. 1. Yes 2. Earth 3. Headed for trouble.

Of course I knew what that meant. Are you incapable of subtext?

Or, letting someone have their opinion without being 'owned' if you disagree?

[Elidor]

40. LOL!

There should be a high-five smiley icon for a good comeback! :toast:

[Catholic Sensation]

33. i suggest you look at the fact your opinion is shared by one other person

Perhaps with years of luck you might realize being uptight about stuff is bad for your health.

RALEIGH (AP) In another stunning turn of events, local poster on DU Catholic Sensation owned overly sensitive poster Freep Fryer once again. Catholic Sensation is leading the best of seven series 2-0 so far.

[FreepFryer]

35. Your post fills a much-needed gap.

Uptight? No. Just commenting on what was probably the dumbest post I'd seen in a long time (one that combined a fake death report with what appeared to be an incomprehensible premise).

And I don't need to appeal to what is obviously a cutting-edge group of humorists to hold an opinion.

'owned'? What is this, 'Quake 3'?

I beg you, complete your education before it's too late.

[Catholic Sensation]

42. I prefer to think of this as more Half-Wit: Counter Stupidity

HEADSHOT!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

43. Hmm

The ironic part about this is how many times I remark to Catholic Sensation and this board on a regular basis that I know I'm not at all funny. I never claimed to be funny. I just wrote a random thing to illicit a response. There is no Comedy Central Daily Show calibur work to be had here. I'm just having a little bit of fun.


PS - Those of us who don't have your obvious wit and intelligence get our chuckles from incomprehensible fake news reports. I dream of having the sense of humor you do, but my poor feeble brain cannot handle such extreme wit.

[FreepFryer]

45. Actually, you two attacked ME for my post. I just commented on your post.

You're welcome to the last word, to 'own' or 'headshot', but you may not realize I'm not playing the same game you are.

It's not about 'winning' or about 'attacking' people, it's about commenting on posts - which was your entire purpose.

So, if you don't get a response you like, it becomes personal?

Is that really okay?

[name not needed]

24. Hey! Look at me! I'm a pretentious dickhead!(n/t)

[FreepFryer]

26. Hi there, pretentious dickhead! I'm an opinionated poster, myself. n/t

[Catholic Sensation]

28. Agence French Presse: FreepFryer lacks sense of humor

VIENNA (AFP): After a series of psycho-analysis sessions, Doctors in Vienna, Austria determined the Democratic Underground poster known as Freep Fryer, has no sense of humor, and canabalistic tendencies.

Doing this kind of writing actually isn't my hobby, it's actually part of an internship.

[FreepFryer]

30. *titter* I hope it's not a taxpayer-funded internship - or else it's...

...yet more gross wasting of valuable revenue that could be given to our GOP buddies for golfing and book burning excursions.

[Catholic Sensation]

37. actually my internship is with public radio

and it's tax payer funded in that my pay is based on how much the fundraising drive for interns at the station gets, as well as how much money I take from the purses of old women I have interviewed to get their opinion on a matter.

I don't know if you'll find this funny (actually I do know, you won't, but that's because you lost your first two posts in our competition at home. Maybe you'll get an away post victory)

[FreepFryer]

39. "I received your last book and I'll waste no time reading it."

-- Moses Hadas

[Ann Arbor Dem]

46. That was too funny.

I'll admit that the thread title fooled me. But once I started reading, I couldn't stop laughing.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

49. Thanks

I'm glad it made you laugh. I don't think I'm funny at all, but I figured I'd give it a shot.

[Ann Arbor Dem]

55. I think you're funnier than you think you are.

It sounded like something from The Onion.

:toast:

[Benno]

54. I was fooled...

I feel like a sucker, almost didn't even read the whole damn thing and was about to google "Gwen Stefani's death"... lol Anyway yeah I have to agree her music has went to shizzle. But their first album wasn't bad at all.
:toast:

[FizzFuzz]

56. I know three of you are having a verbal slugfest, but its a frickin RIOT!

:rofl:
Great flamewar, man I don't think I've ever seen such a funny one!! I love you guys!

OP is funny too, though at first glance I was rather distressed.
Haven't heard Gwen in awhile, don't know what she sounds like lately, but I love her voice.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

57. I love Gwen... in No Doubt.

The solo stuff is no good :(

I think the "flamewar" is funny, though rather pointless, and I'm involved in it. So I'm glad we're amusing :D