I Humbly Submit MY Application to Become DU's Official Executioner

[DS1]

Hey, someone's gotta do it :shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Frankly, I can think of no one better suited for the job.

:evilgrin:


(I hope I put the comma in the right spot)

[JimmyJazz]

2. NO! You didn't!

RUN!

[xmas74]

3. I would nominate you.

It's the perfect job for you.

[sui generis]

4. why does this scene from Female Trouble

come to mind? "bitch! fucker! she chopped off my hand!"

probably slightly overcaffeinated. :shrug:

You may need to just mete out egregious humiliations on occasion. Plus the de rigeur occasional public caning and beheading.

[redqueen]

5. No, actually, someone doesn't have to do it.

However, if you really are that, um... enthusiastic about it, I suggest you take it up with the mods. They'd be far, far better suited to process your application than all us, for lack of a better word, "trashy" people in the lounge.

I really, sincerely hope that I used enough of, IIRC, your favorite punctuation mark, the humble, yet ubiquitous, comma.

:evilgrin:

[DS1]

6. Well, I'm not sure if the 'of' in your reply should go before, or after

the 'IIRC', so I'll let this one slide, for now.

[flamingyouth]

7. You've got my vote!

:hi:

[LynneSin]

8. Sorry DS1, I have to expose the truth

[DS1]

10. Nobody said I couldn't have a sense of humor about it

Besides, it's more humane this way, who'd expect someone dressed like that to cut their heads off?

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. I'll support you, if you support me

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3225298&mesg_id=3225298

:hi:

I think you'd be damned good at the job!

And I know you won't be one of those mamby-pamby executioners who wait for the state to tell you who to execute, either. You will be proactive, and that's what I want in an Executioner!

[matcom]

11. whats your platform?

[DS1]

13. I believe in transparency in my work, so I've built a large platform

so everyone can see

[matcom]

14. i think some curtains might spruce it up

maybe something in lavender?

[DS1]

15. Lavender would hide the massacre too well

I was thinking a nice white lace pattern

[matcom]

17. before MEMORIAL DAY????

fucking HEATHEN

[DS1]

18. Watch it

Or you'll be looking up at the blade

They don't call me Slice for naught, you know

[matcom]

19. right

[DS1]

20. I think you want a slice of me - so cleverly outlined by

my bathing suit :P

[Midlodemocrat]

21. OMG!

That is wrong on so many levels, but freakin' hilarious. I laughed so hard I scared the dog.

[matcom]

12. whats your platform?

[FuzzySlippers]

16. Nah. You'd just enjoy it too much.

I wouldn't want to accord you that much pleasure.