Regarding all this clique nonsense

[belladonna]

I really hate to add to all the clique posts, but geez, get a GRIP already!! When I first came here, I was a bit intimidated. So you know what I did? I jumped in headfirst and started posting to one of whoisalhedges threads. For anyone who hasn't noticed, he might just be the biggest smartass on DU, and if you're thin-skinned? He WILL hurt your feelings, just because it's HIS style. It's just ONE of the many reasons his threads get so many replies.... because he's just FUN to spar with. Get it?

I always check out DS1's threads because I just can't resist a smartass fucker who isn't afraid to speak his mind. EVEN when it goes against what almost everyone else is saying and pisses even some of his own so-called "clique" off, he just says what he believes to be true and lets the chips fall where they may. He might piss me off every now and then, but overall, I admire his honesty and no bullshit demeanor.

I check out progmom's threads because she's hilarious 99.9% of the time and also because she's been trying to steal sundog from me. I check out sundog's because... well, okay, I'm stalking him :P

I check out Mr Scorpio's because he's just so damn cool, and besides, I've met him for real and consider him a friend off and on the net. I could go on all night, but there's one common denominator going on here. If you come into the Lounge and you genuinely want to have FUN (which I believe is the entire purpose of the Lounge to begin with) you WILL, even if your every thread doesn't get a "view all."

Life is like this, on and off the net. People have to get to know you and there will always be groups of people who identify with each other and turn into so-called "cliques". Relax and get to know everyone, and if all else fails? Do what I did and start your own joke clique :P MOST of you will get what I mean by that... and yes, that's an inside joke. :eyes:

[MrScorpio]

1. I didn't join DU to get into any kind of clique

And Bella is so freaking right.. It's all nonsense.

I posted before that it was funny once, but now it's gotten tedious.

Frankly, I'll be glad when this childishness had run its course

[belladonna]

25. I don't have a clique

But if I did, you'd be the first one to get an invite, hot stuff :hug:

[MrScorpio]

33. Aw Shucks...

(Looking down and kicking the dirt)

[youthere]

115. Amen...

[Bouncy Ball]

2. A. Men.

Dang! Gosh!

I was intimidated, too. I totally didn't get all the connections, relationships, jokes. But I saw it as a challenge, as a big mystery to figure out.

I still don't know why Robb is a dingbat.

[sundog]

5. haha me neither

that one was before I came along...

dingbat? :wtf:

[belladonna]

9. Neither do I

It's just one of those things that ARE, ya know? :shrug:

[Bossy Monkey]

24. Robb used to post a lot of polls, on every one of which the tenth choice

would be "Robb is a dingbat" instead of the more traditional Other. Often as not, "Robb is a dingbat" would win. (Ok, I made that part up, but you have to admit it makes a better story!) Robb has embraced and cherished his inner dingbat, but since he has also embraced and cherished his wakeboard instructor (I think I have that right; anyway it was something outdoorsy involving water), he's posting a lot less often.

Just don't ask about the yak thing.

[sundog]

3. weren't the DULL threads started when we were all new?

we had a blast, eh? ;)

just jump in is my theory

[belladonna]

6. I'd been here for awhile

As had Teddy, but my post count was still fairly low. Those were the days, eh? :P

[sundog]

15. so you were clearly taking advantage of my innocent mind

:P

[belladonna]

21. Among other things, hot stuff

And you love every minute of it, admit it :P

[Magrittes Pipe]

4. I am not a smartass.

I'm a wiseass.

[KitchenWitch]

7. semantics

:eyes:

[JimmyJazz]

8. You're actually a pain in the ass, but let's not get hung up

on semantics :P

[dolo amber]

10. I was just gonna say "ass"

:D

[JimmyJazz]

14. Wasn't there a thread about hedges being an ass once?

I seem to recall.... :o

[belladonna]

52. There was also a thread involving massive amounts of beans

Involved his ass, but only in a roundabout way :scared:

[belladonna]

11. Smartass, wiseass.... meh, all semantics

Now I'm going crazy trying to remember your name back then :crazy:

[Magrittes Pipe]

13. A gentleman never reveals his secrets.

Or something.

[dolo amber]

17. Penis, dear

A gentleman never reveals his penis. ;)

[Zuni]

23. so what are you saying?

are you trying to beat around the bush?

[Magrittes Pipe]

26. But I CLEARLY revealed....

HEY!!! :grr:

[JimmyJazz]

18. Whiteacre D_WI

:shrug:

[sundog]

20. what kind of name is that?

just askin :shrug:

[JimmyJazz]

29. Dude - how should I know? I wasn't even here then!

What kind of name is "whoisalhedges" for that matter?

[hippiechick]

113. Whiteacre is the name of a town in WI ... the D stands for Dem ...

:)

[Magrittes Pipe]

27. Um....

Why? :shrug:

[JimmyJazz]

32. Why what?

I'm confused.

[Magrittes Pipe]

34. Well....

Why did you 1) post the name that shall not be mentioned, and 2) misspell it? :o

[JimmyJazz]

47. You might want to change the name on the gallery pic then -

if you don't want it mentioned. And, I misspelled it because I went to the galler, peeked at the name briefly, came back here, found the thread again, hit reply, forgot the name, was too fuggin' lazy to re-open the gallery thread and scroll to the bottom just to check my spelling - so I chose instead to "wing it" - eom. :P

[belladonna]

30. THANK YOU!!!

Now I don't have to obsess all night trying to remember :D

[Roland99]

16. Better than being a dumbass.

[RetroLounge]

59. I thought it was niceass?

:shrug:

RL

[progmom]

12. wow. thanks Belladonna.

Thanks for your great insight. And for the friendship that we've been developing over the past little while. I think the world of you.

:hug:

[belladonna]

19. Jello wrasslin' has a way of bringing people together

And I think the world of you too :P

[Zuni]

31. it sure does. it sure does

[Bok_Tukalo]

22. Great. I wasn't mentioned. I must not be in the clique.

Elitist!

[SOteric]

35. Neither was I, but I think that makes us

a Clique of those not mentioned in Belladonna's post about Cliques.

[belladonna]

41. Weren't you part of the DULL threads at one time?

See? That's the second clique I've induced you to join :D

[SOteric]

42. Was I?

:shrug:

I really don't recall.

[belladonna]

48. Seems like you were

Then again, the memory's going in my old age, so who knows? :shrug:

[Bok_Tukalo]

43. Fantastic. I say we let whoisalhedges, DS1, MrScorpio, and sundog in

anyway.

[progmom]

66. HEY!

There you go again. :grr:

[belladonna]

36. You just need to nail down the art of attention whoring

Need lessons? PM me anytime and I'll share my secrets :D

[Bok_Tukalo]

45. I'm too easily pleased

Smack or Progmom telling me how wonderful I am usually last me for at least a week.

[Sugar Smack]

83. I worship you.

See you next week!

[Bouncy Ball]

40. Meh, neither was I, but I don't care.

She and I never posted a lot.

[belladonna]

44. I always click on yours too

Hell, I could sit here all night and go over the list, but that WOULD be too much like a popularity thread :P

[Bouncy Ball]

46. Yeah, I've started a thread many times doing that

but then I realized I would inevitably forget someone and then I'd have to kick myself and that would hurt.

:rofl:

Hee hee.

[Arkana]

28. I get the sense that the "clique" is a creation of assorted trolls

that want nothing more than to stir up trouble. You're right, BTW--people need to get a grip. There are no cliques.

[salin]

37. Have come to conclude

that it isn't cliques, per se, that are an issue.

More that from time to time a bit of a cheering squad within starts up... not a problem... but in the noise there is a bit of egging on that rather vaidates some behavior that goes from snarky... to cruel... and bleeds from the original target onto others.

Happens all the time on other DU forums. Now is perceived as to have bled onto the lounge. Yes, this is how life is on the net.

But I sitll don't think that it is the so-called cliques that is the problem. It is the growing tolerance of behavior that at times escalates to a point where snark becomes cruel... and appears to be high-fived by so many - that others are intimidated to speak any alternative point.

Heck - I get the sense that there are many groups of friend or "cliques" - and I am part of some of that. I love many people here. But sometimes, over the years, I have seen first an irritation at an individual become a group irritation... and the snark move into another space altogether - but since so many are posting in validation - it just gets worse rather than moderating its own tone as often happens when the dynamic isn't escalating (per the irritation). Before you know it, those getting struck by the attacks are not the original targets, but instead innocent bystanders who make a single objection to the turn the tone has taken (note difference between snark and cruel spike... but the group approach can slowly esclate one to the other.)

This isn't the first time things have gone to ugly here, nor will it be the last. But I do hope that folks stop focusing on the issue of "cliques" - because I don't think that is at issue at all. It is paying attention to whether or not we are moving from snarky - to personal cruelty - or just egging that on. And the aftermath - when the way we treat people verbally - not just the initial target (who may have been so very obnoxious and offensive to begin with that it is easy to rationalize the behavior) gets hit - but the tone and conversation has gotten to the point where anger spills into righteous indignation that spills into kinda pointless attack mode, on those who did no more than object to some post or another.

Wierd things about group dynamics.

A little more "personal responsibility" for individual behavior (and when we swing into attack - that is getting personal as opposed to focusing on post content) - which really - is just a little minor tweaking - is all that is needed.

[Wapsie B]

49. Couldn't have said it any better.

[belladonna]

50. You make some good points

And that's why I generally avoid threads that have degenerated into name calling or flaming like the plague.

[salin]

56. me, too

probably why I missed most of the dynamic spinning into some of the more recent dustups - which have spurred all this gnashing of teeth. That characterization (gnashing of teeth) not meant to mean a problem hadn't developed - it had. However, the focus is on the wrong thing. Maybe if more of us a) bowed out of those threads... but also b) paid enough attention to occiasionally chime in a bit of reason in the spinning insanity... it wouldn't get to that point. I, share, a bit of the blame in that. A few taps on the shoulder of friends sometimes works something a kin to a splash of cold water in the face when someone has begon to move to hysterics.

Oh well. Done. Hopefully growth (collective) occurs. And we can go back to being silly, inane, and having a heck of a good time.

[Madrone]

55. you said it much more nicely than I did, below.

:pals:

You've more patience than I.

[last_texas_dem]

70. I agree with your posts on this matter

I've been trying to stay out of all of the recent flare-ups here in the Lounge for the most part, but I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you posting and giving your perspective. It is one that I agree with and I am glad that you (and a handful of others on here) are letting your views be known.

[gardenista]

82. Hope this post is read by many, including the mods.

This is the best description of what has been taking root here over the last couple of months.

[redqueen]

96. You are teh smrt.

:loveya:

[tigereye]

118. good assessment Salin

[SOteric]

38. I agree.

DS1 is pretty nifty.

[belladonna]

39. Even when he's being a sexist pig

But dammit, he's just so GOOD at it :silly:

[texas1928]

51. I am not a part of your clique.

:cry:

[belladonna]

54. Geesh, if I HAD a clique you'd be in it

Hey, we have something in common... a belief in things that go bump in the night :P

[texas1928]

57. BUT but

:cry:

Nobody likes me.

:cry:

[Madrone]

53. Oh for pete's sake.

Let me try to explain my perspective on this to you.


Number one - how long do we all have to look forward to this endless collective whining about all of your (not directed entirely at you, belladonna) perceived "whining" about cliques? One week? Two? A month?

How many threads are going to be started baiting someone into answering, so everyone can then start mocking the person who calls it like they see it as "lonely", "not able to fit in", "paranoid", "in need of a GRIP", "socially inept" , etc? CLUE: just because people are sick of this behavior doesn't mean they feel secretly left out and pouty. Turning it back around on them to try and make it into their emotional problem doesn't make it so, either. Even though you guys are the ones getting the most grease - there are plenty of others that see it like I do, and aren't speaking up. Another CLUE: endless threads about "cliques" are mocking other members, their opinions, and are nothing but flame bait. You all know this - which is why you find it so FUN. You continue to push the envelope, and you find yourselves quite clever. Then when one of you gets banned for continual flaunting of the rules, you whine. Those rules aren't meant for YOU....right?

More amusing is the posters that then start projecting their behavior onto others - berating them for being "mean", posting flamebait, not using the ingore button - etc. It's transparent, and it's STUPID.


I don't give a DAMN who is friends with who here, nor do I care who talks to who. Guess what? I don't know anyone who DOES. Get over yourselves!

From what I can tell - the "elite" comments were not made because anyone on this forum actually BELIEVES there's an elite it. It seemed to me that it was commentary regarding certain groups that are legends - in their OWN minds. The "elite" needs to stop flattering themselves. I didn't see it meant as a compliment.

Personally - I have no dog in this fight other than honesty, fairness, and justice. I'm sick of seeing people shit on here - and I don't really give a fuck WHAT any of you tries to project onto me for having the balls to say so. I kept quiet for a LONG time - and finally stopped holding my tongue when NotMyPrez got shit all over for baring her soul in a post asking for some respect as a DUer when it came to her faith. You guys took that and ran with it - and it was almost a month before you finally let that go. It was CRUEL, it was RUDE, and it was beneath contempt.


Belladonna - this is not entirely directed at you, even though your post finally prompted me to type something.


And FOR THE RECORD - to those of you that are pissing me the FUCK off with this bullshit - I would be equally disgusted by the same treatment being directed towards you, and I'd say something then too. I don't hold grudges, and I want no hard feelings. I just want to see this bs come to an end.

[progmom]

60. you know what's silly?

No one is trying to bait anyone with the clique threads. We're all a little freaked out by the serious clique talk and are blowing off steam. I feel truly sad that there are people who feel left out. It has caused me to examine my posting style.

But the jokey clique threads? Not meant as anything but a release of tension before we get back to the business of being goofy.

I'm sorry if you felt otherwise.

[Madrone]

63. That would be great if it were true.

And for some posters - I honestly believe it is. There are, however, a number of purposefully nasty ones, and THOSE color the ones who may not intentionally be stirring the pot.

MOST of the clique talk period is coming from people making mocking comments. I'd say like 98% - and I've been watching this go on for awhile. If those mocking it would let it die, it would mostly be done by now.

I defended Bouncy Ball to someone, for example - because I really don't believe that *she* is one of the ones being purposefully antagonistic. This is based on simple observation and intuition. There are a few others I'd also be willing to bet on.

The problem is - there IS a real problem. Mocking and belittling anyone that sees or feels it is only feeding the problem.

Thank you for your response, progmom. I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think you need to worry about being "friends" with anyone - it's the nastiness that's a problem, and I don't think it's a problem of yours.

[RagingInMiami]

77. I have to agree with Madrone

Progmom, I think you go out of your way to make people feel welcome here, which is why you're one of the more popular DUers.

But I do think it's obvious that many of these "what clique?" threads (and no, Belladonna, I'm not specifically talking about this thread)are mockingly directed at anyone who would even dare imagine that there might be cliques on DU.

It's like saying, "well I'm in the clique and if you respond positively on my thread, then you're in the clique.

"And if you don't, well obviously you're an oversensitive loser with no sense of humor and no social skills."

The fact is, the lounge is like any other institution where people gather regularly to socialize. Friendships and cliques will evolve naturally. Some people will fit in better than others. And some personalities will clash.

So just cause it's easier for certain people to fit in, for whatever reason, it should not give them an excuse to ridicule other DUers who may not immediately find a groove in the lounge.

That being said, everybody is welcome into my clique, the DU photo group.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=280

[belladonna]

61. First of all, find one instance where I've been guilty of that behavior

You won't.

Secondly, you are correct that there are people here who are legends in their own minds. I generally ignore them and don't respond to their threads. There are also people here who take things WAY too seriously while saying they have no dog in this fight and stating that it doesn't matter out of one side of their mouth... yet the language they use, especially the capitalized FUCKS seem to indicate otherwise. :shrug:

[salin]

64. to belladonna and madrone

one point - I think you are both in agreement...

but I also think that both of you are posting to a "sample" post (ex an example of the sorta trend to which I am finding irritating)... but that your posts themselves are not real models of the thing to which you are objecting.

Such is what happens when the overall atmosphere of the forum turns.

Only post this because in reading these two corresponding posts, I see points of commonality and places for conversation.

In my wish that we would all get back to conversation - even when we disagree - by looking for "where we agree and where we disagree" types of disucssions (that I think are, in the end, the most productive - and informative) - just I thought I would interupt and point this out.

carry on.

[Madrone]

69. thanks salin ;)

for being the "good cop" to my "bad cop" .... lol

[belladonna]

71. I was only posting about the elite clique crap that's been going on

Because that's what it is... utter crap. As far as what madrone was referring to? Not saying it doesn't happen or exist at all, but since I refuse to participate or even read the threads that go there? I don't have a hell of alot to say about it.

[Madrone]

68. belladonna -

if you'll notice, I said it wasn't entirely directed towards you. In fact, my rant would probably have been better placed in another thread. Yours was just like the 12th (guessing!) one that popped to the top of the screen - and so yours was the one I clicked on.

I am sorry, I did not mean to make it personal against YOU. You should be aware, however, that these types of threads do keep it going.


I did say I have no dog in this fight - and I stand by that. I didn't say it doesn't matter - it DOES matter. It's making a lot of people sad and unhappy - and it's annoying a bunch of others. Count me amongst the annoyed!

You do have my sincere apologies for miscommunicating my ire as directed towards you in it's entirety. It was not meant that way.

Peace.

[belladonna]

72. I did notice and I'm not taking it all that personally

But there was a pretty angry undertone to your entire post that didn't exactly match up with some of the things you said in there :shrug:

[Madrone]

73. I'm glad you didn't take it personally -

and I am sorry I chose your thread. There are certainly others that it would have made my point much better in.

I don't think my post was inconsistent in the least. I AM angry. I AM sick of seeing people shit upon and mocked. I'm not afraid to say it - next time I'll just try and say it in a more appropriate thread. :dunce:

[Tsiyu]

75. There are many angry folks on DU

Who also just want to have a good time.

We have quite a few amateur shrinks on DU lately, but very few folks contributing to a peaceful resolution of the situation.

Post what you like, but stop being cruel and conducting your "Secret Agent Man" type witch hunts if you are doing these things. That's not so hard to do if you are a decent person.

It has little to do with cliques. It has a lot to do with how people behave in groups. We all have our bad days. But if someone is here to disrupt the forums, or to take out their issues on others, they will get called on it. Unlike on the street, we have a permanent record of what they've said here.

For example, anyone who complained about the recent atmosphere in the lounge was psychoanalyzed from here to Brazil. "Social outcasts." blah fucking blah fucking blah

But guess what? I complained, and I was quite popular in high school. President of the Art Club, member of a band, winner of awards for drawing and painting and drama and music, one of the editors of the Yearbook. At graduation, a friend came up and said, "You know what's amazing, Mel? EVERYBODY clapped for you when you walked- the jocks, the artsy fartsies, the nerds, the stoners, even the cheerleaders." I never let someone's perceived "clique" keep me from being someone's friend.

So what the FUCK is wrong ( with nods to Madrone) with the two bit psychoanalyisis in my case? Please, people...some of you are embarrassing.

[Madrone]

78. Well DUH.

If you were in band you weren't one of the popular ones, sweetie. No matter what your mommy may have told you when you went home crying. :eyes:



:spank:





:hi: buddyhollysghost! ;)

[Tsiyu]

79. Bitch!

Just kidding. You are too damned funny, woman...:hi:

Here's to our clique!

[Madrone]

80. !!!!

:spray:

Okay - I REALLY laughed out loud at that one!

Bitch, huh??! I can live with it.:*

[Tsiyu]

104. Oh, you ain't no bitch atall

Not in my book.

Unless you NEED to be a bitch!

You are actually THE SHIT. It takes courage to speak out around here, as you know....;)

[gardenista]

81. There is nothing more to add to this post.

It says it all.

[ScreamingMeemie]

86. Pissed the FUCK off? Use the hide thread button...instead of alienation

tactics. Works for me everytime. :hi:

[Madrone]

93. My post

is one of the least likely representations of "alienation tactics" on this board. That you would say the above to me after watching this place for the last few days is amusing.

Thanks for your "help" - but it isn't needed. I'm a big girl, and can take care of myself!

[ScreamingMeemie]

107. Those who can take care of themselves don't write posts like this

in my opinion...seeing as this is an opinion board.

I suspect an ulterior motive at work here.

[Madrone]

110. Well, seeing as this is an opinion board and not

just YOUR opinion board - and since I'm not the only one that shares the sentiment of my post - I'll go ahead and keep expressing myself and you may find yourself free to follow your own advice.

Speaking of my original post - there are some parts in there you may benefit from. Let me help you:

CLUE: just because people are sick of this behavior doesn't mean they feel secretly left out and pouty.

Turning it back around on them to try and make it into their emotional problem doesn't make it so, either.

Even though you guys are the ones getting the most grease - there are plenty of others that see it like I do, and aren't speaking up.

More amusing is the posters that then start projecting their behavior onto others - berating them for being "mean", posting flamebait, not using the ingore button - etc. It's transparent, and it's STUPID.

I'm sick of seeing people shit on here - and I don't really give a fuck WHAT any of you tries to project onto me for having the balls to say so.

[ScreamingMeemie]

111. Us guys? Who is us guys? One, I'm a girl. Two people post to me

because I'm here a lot. That's it. End story. Some days I will post and no one responds. Everyone has threads that sink. There are people that I really enjoy posting back and forth with, and others that I fight with...but, if you were to run a search, I think you would find I'm pretty even handed with my comments to anyone. :shrug:

So be it. I pretty much enjoy everyone here at DU. It's a shame some wish to create problems. Many are putting way too much thought into this.

Have a good day Madrone. :hi:

[Madrone]

114. I've watched you post since you joined -

and I will agree that you are normally a reasonable, even handed individual. Not so in your commentary regarding my post, however.

For some reason, there are many individuals "afraid" to post what I'm saying, even though they are thinking the same thoughts. Probably because they see every time someone *does* post thoughts that align with mine they are ridiculed, accused of mental deficiency, or "whining" because they don't have any friends.

I have no problem with you Mrs. Grumpy - I think you're pretty cool. I didn't appreciate or agree with your comments in this case, and I told you so. That's about it.

I AM jealous of you though. NOT because people post to you on DU. I'm jealous because YOU are in Michigan, and I'm not. :cry: So there. ;)

[ScreamingMeemie]

116. The door is always open if you want to visit!

:hi:

Actually, we're in the process of scoping out a possible move to Washington (Kent/Seattle area)...and it's kind of breaking my heart to move so far from WI. :hi:

[Madrone]

117. I know! I posted in your thead about moving.

I'm a Kalamazoo gal - born and bred. I moved to WA (84 miles east of Seattle) in the fall of 1998.

It IS hard moving so far away. And going back to visit is bittersweet. There's NEVER enough time see everyone as often or as long as you'd like. I feel pulled in a million different directions every time I return. My favorite people on earth live there - and it's very difficult fitting them all in in a one or two week timeframe.

It's definitely different here than it is in the midwest. And EXPENSIVE - but I remember you saying (not in these words) that your husband's new job will have you rolling in it - so it won't be as much of a shock for you as it was for me! :)

[ScreamingMeemie]

119. But then I hear about housing prices and Whoosh! that would be

out the window. I am checking into reciprocity for my appraiser's license right now.

I am fearful of leaving my parents, especially now that the bonds with my kids are really deep. MrG has never been away from his family (I grew up always on the move) and I worry about that. I worry incessantly, I guess. On the upside, both of my brothers live in CA..which would make them a closer far away. ;)

[texas1928]

58. What about DULL

All the good times we had.

I mean I stole Whitacre's Ronnie James DIO Sigtag for you.

[belladonna]

62. You got extra margarita's for that

Quit yer bitching :P

[Kathy in Cambridge]

65. I'm seeing cliquishness and exclusivity on this whole thread!

Actually, I'm seeing a bunch of people who enjoy one another. It's great to see people form online friendships. :-)

[sundog]

67. pretty simple actually

:toast:

[ScreamingMeemie]

112. I call foul.

That's not allowed. :hi:

[RevolutionaryActs]

74. i have one thing to say, and one thing onLy...

:yourock:

[Lone_Star_Dem]

76. I agree with the wonderful points made here

We were all new once and had to learn the inside jokes. When I was new if I were really curious about something, and didn't want to look like a goober, I'd just PM the poster. I've always gotten replies and no one has ever seemed to mind. After I was here for a few weeks I realized I could just ask in the thread and that was cool, too. I loved figuring out all the little secrets of DU. It was like moving into a new town and getting to acquaint yourself with the locals.

The lounge has never been anything but friendly and receptive of me, but like anything else in life, it's what you make of it.

I admit that I do avoid the obvious flame wars. I don't get off on that stuff so I choose to avoid it.

[kick-ass-bob]

84. I resent the statement:

"he (whoisalhedges) might just be the biggest smartass on DU,"

:P

[belladonna]

91. You could always challenge him for the title

Course, you'd have to put on a thong and wrassle him in banana pudding... interested? :P

[Mutley]

85. I don't give a crap about cliques

I come on here, I do my talking, and people may or may not respond. That's life after all. Newbies: Just start posting and people here will eventually get used to you.

[Misunderestimator]

87. I wanna know what progmom is like the other 0.1% of the time.

Good post.

[ScreamingMeemie]

88. She is sleeping..

sleeping people are inherently unfunny. :hi:

[Misunderestimator]

89. Aha! That explains it!

Seriously, I thought she never slept. :hi:

[progmom]

97. I don't sleep nearly enough.

Which explains my very unhealthy caffeine addiction.

:hi:

[belladonna]

90. Ahh, you remind me of one of the very few flame wars I participated in

Remember the spanking thread from waaaaaay back? :hi:

[Misunderestimator]

92. There've been a lot of those...

which TOTALLY surprised me on this site... and still does. :eyes: One of those subjects where I can't resist letting crap go uncontested. :hi:

[belladonna]

94. Same here

VERY sore spot for me, so I could never resist jumping into those ones. Well, those and Nader for Prez threads :P

[progmom]

99. wait - i wasn't part of a spanking flame war, was i?

and if i was, i doubt you and i would disagree. i just have this feeling...

[belladonna]

102. Nope, I don't think so anyway

And as long as you agree that only controlling assholes with no sense of self control feel the need to beat down a child, then yes we will :P

[progmom]

105. we agree

my choice of words would be much harsher than yours.

:hi:

[redqueen]

95. I like cereal.

:P

[Zenlitened]

98. Grain-murderer!!!!!

:evilgrin:

[redqueen]

101. The cries of the wheatstalks!

I never thought of that!

:cry:

[Zenlitened]

103. *PMs other DUers, urging them to pile-on evil, cereal-eating redqueen*

:D :D :D

[Lilith Velkor]

121. Yeesh.

She gonna look like Kakihara when they're done...

[Zenlitened]

126. Like this?

http://www.njpw.com/fighters/kakihara.shtml

[Lilith Velkor]

127. No, like this

[DS1]

100. And another thing....!

If you don't have enough social skills in real life to make friends and enjoy company, what makes you think you're suddenly going to be riding a wave of friendship online? Futhermore, why is anyone expected to pick up the slack for you?

*this question isn't aimed towards belladonna*

[RagingInMiami]

106. And why should you expect anyone to even make you feel welcome

If you just don't have the social skills to enjoy our prestigious company?

[DS1]

108. Different subject entirely

[Tsiyu]

124. ROFL

Someone else said some folks couldn't "work the room" and they should just deal with it. I don't know who it was, and bear no malice or anything toward them, it just made me laugh out loud.

The phrase 'work the room' stuck in my mind.

This isn't an online forum, my friends! It's really "Last Comic Standing." And some are just not witty enough to make the cut.

Plus they are mentally deranged and have no friends.


Maybe there is a DU remedial program somewhere? ;)

[belladonna]

109. Oh suuurrre it isn't

That was nothing but a well veiled attack on me, admit it NOW!!! :P

[tigereye]

120. funny

I don't see cliques, that's so jr. high school. ( with apologies to our high school members). I see people who like to tease and joke with each other, and many who have become friends, for whatever reason. And I think that most people here are very open to welcoming new folks, as long as they aren't disruptors. I have met some very nice people here and I love the lounge. I think folks need a thick skin and a sense of humor and enjoyment, and they will be fine.

[Bouncy Ball]

122. What a great post.

Hi tigereye!

:hi:

[tigereye]

123. thanks BB

:hi:

[NorthernSpy]

125. you wanna talk "thin-skinned"?

My own minor involvement with this clique issue began when I responded to a thread started by someone who had said that she felt kind of excluded.

As far as I could see, she was just telling people how she felt, and she did this without bashing anyone, but there she was -- getting reamed for it anyway.

A while later, one of the people who had been the most vocal in telling her that there are no cliques at DU started a thread on a different topic. The poster who had felt excluded tried to participate in that thread. And little Miss No-Cliques-Here replied to eveyone who had contributed to her thread -- except, pointedly, for that one poster. How's that for thin-skinned?

You think -- and I agree to a certain point -- that some people should just take a chance and speak up. But it's also clear to me that there are others who desperately need to grow the hell up and start playing nice.

Are the people who feel excluded thin-skinned? They might be. But if they are, they're hardly alone in that. All these shrilly defensive rants and defiant, 'lookit-me-and-my-pals' -type posts are evidence of what, exactly -- a mature ability to take criticism in stride?



As it happens, there is at least one small group of people at DU who have known each other for years (since before this site existed, in fact). We have kept in touch all this time. But no one has ever picked us out as a clique. That is probably because we discuss the things that concern only us privately, and don't engage in anything that might look like herd behavior. Not a bad way of handling things, I don't think.