Oh thank the lord Tom Cruise has a new beard ....

[ronnykmarshall]

uh I mean girlfriend.

Oh my friends, it's wonderful news.

Tom Cruise that hot HETEROSEXUAL stud has a new WOMAN on his HETEROSEXUAL arm.

Why even at Oprah's big party this weekend in Santa Barbara where she paid tribute to black women .... it was Tom Cruise and his HETEROSEXUAL girlfriend that all the TV show are talking about.

Oh it was so HETEROSEXUAL when Tom (that stud of heterosexuality) lifted his new HETEROSEXUAL girlfriend in his arm and spun her around for cameras.

O' lord!!! Thank you for such fine HETEROSEXUAL men like Tom Cruise.

Why is it that us poor sad homosexuals can only dream that Tom Cruise could even think of our hard, muscular bodies. Throwing him down on a bed in a passion hot man on man sex that would leave him screaming and clawing like the cheap whore that we want him to be.

Tom Cruise: Heterosexual!

[xmas74]

1. He is a cheap whore.

That poor girl. Do you think she's figured it out already?

[ronnykmarshall]

2. Money talks ....

and bullshit walks.

That girl has been bought and paid for.

Tom Cruise has the best PR in town.

[xmas74]

3. If the money were that good

I would be happy to be his beard.
I'll leave the keys to his mansion under the doormat for you.

[Bouncy Ball]

4. This. Made me. Laugh so hard. I can't even. Form complete.

Sentences anymore.

So he sets yours off, too, huh?

[tinfoilinfor2005]

5. What a phoney baloney this guy is!

Watched him on Actor's Studio last night and my husband finally got up and left the room not being able to stomach the baaaad acting. I continued for another ten minutes but it was just too much. And I could care less about his sexual preference, but every word out of his mouth was scripted and choreographed. He was the least honest person I ever watched on that show.

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. He's the biggest, most talentless over-hyped piece of shit in Hollywood

[ProudToBeLiberal]

7. I would disagree

I thought he was great in collateral and among others.

[Bouncy Ball]

8. ...

:applause:

We wouldn't go see The Last Samauri (sp?), even though that's normally a plot my husband would love. He said "Nope, it's got Tom Cruise in it, forget it."

LOL!

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Oh, Christ, that was AWFUL!!!!! Painfully AWFUL!!

ironically enough, I watched it on the plane on my way to Japan. I was almost embarassed - I didn't want any of the Japanese people seeing me watching it and having them think "Stupid gaijin thinks this is what Japan was like". I wanted to shout, "No - believe me! I know this is bullshit history, and bullshit everything!! Please don't think that I think this way! I know the truth, and I know this is bullshit!!"

Tom Cruise, fuck you.

[Bouncy Ball]

11. Ewww, you watched it?

My repukey mother in law just LOVES him, has a crush on him.

Uh, ok.

:eyes:

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. Yep, I actually watched that piece of shit all the way through

for a few reasons: it was about Japan, even though it was bullshit; I was on a 16 hour flight; the movie was free; and I had been curious about it because it did have some actual Japanese actors and some Japanese had helped with the screenplay and stuff, so I thought it would actually be okay.

I was very wrong.

The worst part of my life right now is knowing that the sacred text "War of the Worlds" is being done not only by that awful piece of shit Cruise, but that other often-but-not-always-piece-of-shit Spielberg who's going to take that almost holy story and turn it into "You, the viewer, should be enraged now" and "You, the viewer, should cry now" and "You, the viewer, should feel hopeless here" and "You, the viewer should feel triumphant and good about being a human now" and on and on and on.

I can't imagine a worse possible team for that. From Orson Welles, the height of all artistic genius, to Spielberg/Cruise, a match that could only be made in Kinkade's studio by Satan himself.

[Bouncy Ball]

16. WHAT?

I didn't know that. Damn, I'm depressed now. You you you YOU.

[Left Is Write]

17. But I have to see it. I have to know.

I don't know why I have to know. I just have to.

Maybe I should just sit here in the dark and listen to my copy of the radio broadcast.

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. Sadly, I will be compelled by curiosity to go see it, too

And I know I will be throwing 10 bucks away, and that I will leave the theater angry, and will remain angry for weeks and months because of it.

But I'm the type that likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. Ever hopeful me.

But I know I'm not only going to be disappointed, I'm going to be insulted, and I'm going to be angry.

And I also know that the movie will be a total piece of shit, and not worth a tinker's damn, but it's gonna make a shitload of money and all the illiterati of the nation are gonna be talking about how "powerful" and "amazing" and "well done" and "visionary" and "feel good" the movie is.

:puke:

[Left Is Write]

13. Yeah, but...

I really want to see War Of The Worlds anyway.

That's in spite of Tom Cruise, who I like less and less with every passing year. Month. Day. Whatever.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. egads, read my post 13

[tishaLA]

10. Have you seen their romantic heterosexual kisses?

Why, they look like they are deeply deeply in love and not ven *slightly* awkward



Who's the more believable couple?



Compare--Tommy and Katie / Michael and Lisa Marie:

[Bouncy Ball]

12. See, it's all the kissing so much in public.

Most "mega-celebrities" :eyes: like Cruise want their life to be a bit more private than that, so all that "schmoopy" behavior in full view of the cameras just makes my bullshit radar go off.

Poor Katie Holmes. Another one ensnared.

But God, Nicole Kidman was MARRIED to him, for years. Adopted kids with him.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

21. And from what "they" say, Nicole started to openly flaunt

her trysts which may have threatened his cover. But that is tabloid stuff and I am ashamed to spread it. Like I said, who cares about his sex life. I have enjoyed some of his films, but he personally just comes off phoney to me. But maybe the scientology stuff colors my view.

[Bouncy Ball]

23. I don't care much who he bangs either, BUT if someone put a gun

to my head and said BET on whether he's gay or not, I would NOT lay money on him being hetero.

Just sayin'.

[Left Is Write]

24. I know it colors my view.

His comments on the field of psychiatry were really the last straw for me as far as he goes.

[tishaLA]

22. Now now! Just because his publicist

alerted the international press to his public appearances with Holmes, and just because they both have huge movies coming out in the next couple months, and because they have done these PDAs in view of the paparazzi not once or twice but six times in the past few weeks is no reason to be suspicious. :sarcasm:

[MrSandman]

18. Tom Cruise...

:puke:

Overrated goofy toothed face.

[Bouncy Ball]

19. ROFL!

Great description!

[peekaloo]

25. LOL

here's an oldie but a goodie from Mrs. Betty B.

http://www.bettybowers.com/newscruise.html
------
"As a True Christian, you will never catch me overtly gloating," added Mrs. Bowers, looking saddened, yet resplendent in slate-blue Badgley Mischka, "But it is quite clear that these so-called Scientologists are not up to the task of converting homosexuals with any efficacy or credibility. Indeed, I expect a call from Kelly Preston any minute now. The only thing that has kept John's mind off penises recently has been the pastry cart she has the servants roll around in front of him at my suggestion. But it takes no Freud to hazard a guess why the French éclairs are sucked dry with alarming alacrity!"

BASH had been quietly negotiating with the Church of Scientology for several years to pick up the Cruise endorsement. "Frankly, I'm surprised he stayed with them as long as he did!" laughed Mrs. Bowers. "I mean, they first paired the poor thing off with Mimi Rogers! That horsy thing is more masculine than he ever thought about being. Everyone in the arranged marriage business scoffed at the plausibility of that pairing! But, then again, you are talking about people who will pair that predatory Presley tramp with that fey Michael Jackson just to try to get at his cash! At least Nicole – although she could keep a bottle of Cristal at cellar temperature between her legs – is not quite as butch as some of those girls are. So, initially, I thought it was a somewhat suitable arrangement."

------

[henslee]

26. Tom is pathetic. Howard Stern bashes him all the time. I saw

that Oprah news clip. He was totallly, lame -- look at me, I like girls. He is so obvoious and shallow. If he has a real sense of humor, he'd wear an "I love pussy" t shirt. I mean, he'd get a whole new audience.