Ok, Some Paul Lynde Zingers from "The Hollywood Squares"

[WI_DEM]

Peter M: In the movies, Frankenstein's monster was always big and ugly. And he had lots of scars. What was his biggest fear?

Paul Lynde: That the girls would be turned off by his big nuts!

PM: According to the old song, "At night, when you're asleep, into your tent I'll creep." Who am I?

PL: The Scoutmaster!

PM: In television, who lived in Doodyville?
PL: OH, the Ty-De-Bowl Man.

PM: According to research at USC, is it okay for your marriage to fantasize that your wife is Farrah Fawcett Majors?
PL: If that doesn't work, try Lee Majors!

PM: Who are Mark Trail, Steve Roper and Tank McNamara?
PL: Oh, you found my address book!

PM: To Roy Rogers, what is Cowboy Heaven?
PL: Seven minutes with Tammy Wynette!

PM: Is it possible to drink too much water?
PL: Yes, it's called drowning.

PM: Is Billy Graham considered a good dresser?
PL: No, but he's a terrific end table.

PM: Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire recently announced that after 30 years, they're going to do something one more time. What?
PL: Trade hairpieces.

PM: Paul, why are forest rangers in remote locations ordering goats as standard equipment?
PL: Because the sheep are wising up?

PM: From what animal do you get silk blouses?
PL: An animal to you, Peter, but kind and generous to me.

PM: You get a headache right after romance. According to Dr. Thotusen, is there anything wrong with you?
PL: No, but I need a softer headboard.

PM: According to the famous quote by Alexander Pope, a little what is a dangerous thing?
PL: A little pervert.

PM: The great writer George Bernard Shaw once wrote, "It's such a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children. What is it?
PL: A Whipping.

PM: According to the great poem by Edgar Allan Poe, "We loved with a love that was more than love, I and my..." I and my what?
PL: Gym Teacher.

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. LOL!

I was afraid it was going to be the standard ones that make the rounds, but these are all new to me!

Hilarious!!

"I need a softer headboard" - genius!!

[gristy]

2. Too funny!!!!!!!!!

And I can clearly hear Peter Marshal asking each question.

Takes me back...

[Richard Steele]

3. "No, but he's a terrific end table." Classic ROFL!!!!!!!

[KamaAina]

4. "You're dis-gust-ing!"

And who else, I ask you, could have breathed such life into the role of Templeton the rat??

[Mnemosyne]

5. Oh thank you!! It's been

so long since I first heard these. Even as a teen, Paul L. cracked me up so bad! He was a treasure.:rofl: :rofl:

[Paranoid_Portlander]

6. Kick.

.

[Kerrytravelers]

7. Thanks for the great laughs! Where did you find such treasures?

[WI_DEM]

10. Just searched the internet for Paul Lynde Zingers

[RushIsRot]

8. Had me cackling worse than a mother hen!

What a hoot!

[faithnotgreed]

9. kick for paul lynde!