I can't stand it. My new job is like being in junior high all over again.

[Sannum]

Just with more expensive outfits and better hair. It is the cattiest, bitchiest place I have ever been since I promised to never set foot in Boles Jr High school again. I never "fit in" because I was not a "go team" cheerleader clique chick, I was a politically active artist/designer, Vogue Magazine, Latte drinking avant garde film watching semi-hippie. Come to think of it, I still am. Well, I got a job at the place where all of the loathsome bitches that made my adolecence miserable are working. I am apparently "strange" and "weird" and "too quiet". I hear them talking behind my back and it is hell. And also something must be wrong with me because I am "too nice". :wtf:

I now have a sense of Deja Vu. I cry at night and I can't tell anyone about this because no one will understand. I was asked to pull some files from 1993 today, so I had to go to the sub-basement for two hours which had no ventilation. I was sweating like a pig when I came back from the bathroom to clean myself up, one of these women put on a faux concern face and actually had the fucking balls to ask if I could afford to buy shampoo. She was put up to it by two other women who I have had trouble with. I use sixteen dollar fucking Aveda shampoo you fucking bitch. I am wearing a four hundred dollar outfit. I just got back from a 90 degree basement. Go fuck yourself.:grr:

[GOPisEvil]

1. I'm really sorry to hear that.

:(

I hope it gets better, but if not, then I hope you can find something better. :hug:

[devilgrrl]

2. How old are these people?

What a pain in the ass, I'm so sorry that you have to put up with that crap. :hug:

[Sannum]

3. Mid 20-s 30's

I knew I had found their intelligence level when in the lunchroom one day, I casually asked if they were interested in politics. "Oh that stuff is like, so BORING" most of them replied.

Most of them are content to (I am probably going to get reamed for this)--work so they can afford nice clothes to snag a nice rich, republican hubby and pop out babies.

This whole thing really hurt though. Maybe it is because I am actually hygene obsessed, but dammit...what the hell was that? I have been told by my friends it is jealousy, but it just hurts.

[radwriter0555]

6. Egads. how AWFUL! There really isn't anything you can do, other than just

pack it up and find a new job. Nothing will change them. NOTHING.

In the meantime, all you can do is learn the Stepford Smile, and use it from 9-5. That way, no one can accuse you of making hateful faces, etc., and consequently being a menace in the workplace.

It's not jealousy, it's bitchiness and massive insecurity. They need to feel superior to someone, and you have been appointed as that someone.

If you choose to challenge them, do it with dignity and grace. An appropriate response would have been "I use Aveda, why? Is it making my hair greasy?"

Count to 10 at each insult and think about your response and make it polite and measured.

You may want to ally yourself with the one who was set up to insult you. You could simply ask her if there is something you can do to make the other girls stop being mean to you, and say it with a smile. You can't accuse them of anything, by phrasing your question like that, you are sort of taking the responsibility. It's not as if you're going to follow her advice, but you're pointing out that you know what's going on.

I can't emphasize enough the importance of the Stepford Smile. It's a smile that is on your mouth and not in your eyes. It's not wide and sarcastic, but merely a semblence of a smile. It enables you to be direct without being the attacker, in a whole psychological battle.

Good luck. I suffered for over a year with evil intended people who drove me to the verge of insanity. I barely survived. Get out while you can, because nothing will change.

[crispini]

4. Good lord, how horrible.

Are you going to start looking for a new job?

I hate that sort of BS. I know it's not much help when you're being victimized by a nasty clique, but you ARE in fact better than them.

:hug:

[BreweryYardRat]

5. Want a hand hiding the bodies?

I hate skanks like that, even though I'm a guy.

[miss_kitty]

7. Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen

I'm sure management has heard of 'Hostile workplace'

Do you have my old job at Nordstrom? I was treated awfully there. I understand.

I suggest you keep looking for a job. I know it's hard, but work is not supposed to be so awful that you cry yourself to sleep. And it's bad for your long term health.

In the meantime, can you talk to HR? A lot of times they've already had a heads up on little scum like these gals. If not, it's good to get a folder started on them. Keep a daily log of what they do to you. When someone asks you a question like "Can you afford shampoo?" ask them if they work at being rude or does it come naturally. Or say "Yes I can. I wouldn't mind lending you some. You could use it. That IS why you are asking, right? You want to borrow my shampoo. Do the gals that told you to ask me that need some too?"

You just need to be on your toes around these two and be ready to jump ship. And take your log into the exit interview. Screw them hard. Teach them a lesson. I'd love to come and kick their asses for you.
I live to crush shits like that, Sannum. Sorry hon.

PS. keep some crappy clothes at work from now on, too.

[hfojvt]

8. I guess people think I am strange because I am quiet

Of course, when I talk, they really think I am strange, but I think it would be better if some of them would fut the shuck up.

A four hundred dollar outfit? Tanj. You could buy my whole wardrobe for $400 and still have enough money left to go out for pizza.

[AmyDeLune]

9. Here, try this visualisation excercise...

Serenity....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here.
No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.
Look.
It's the person who caused you all this stress in the first place.
What a pleasant surprise.
You let them up, just for a quick breath.
Then...ploop!
Back under they go...
You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.
There now... feeling better?

[realisticphish]

10. See, that would be freeing for me

beacuse now it's open season to fuck with them. :evilgrin:

Hang in there. Maybe you can find someone else there you get along with

[kwassa]

11. These women have too much time on their hands

I've worked in offices like this. The only real solution is to leave it, because it is the culture of the workplace, and you won't be able to change that culture. These co-workers have certain values that you definitely don't share, and because you have to spend so much time with them, it will be very unpleasant. It might be one of those dysfunctional offices that works only with an identified outsider, or "bad" person, who can be scapegoated. I was actually fired from my job, the only time I've ever been fired in my life. My crime is that I really didn't want to be "one of the boys". I could have fought it, but I was really glad to go. I've also left one other job where the environment was really sick. Both of these decisions were the right ones, and I never looked back.


Many engage in gossip for the drama value. They create drama because they are so bored by their jobs, for whatever reason. Is there a fascination with soap operas among this group? Whatever it is, I would start looking for my next job now.

[kick-ass-bob]

12. OMG - I would so fuck with their heads.

That just made it open season.

:evilgrin:

[Thtwudbeme]

13. Did you ask "shampoo girl" if she was serious?

I would have put her on the spot right there, explained that she was not only rude, but was asking you personal questions, then reported the incident in writing, as a complaint, to her supervisor. Immediately. Not in a joking manner either.

No, I am not kidding; just because they are immature doesn't mean you need to cry.

Quit being "nice." "Nice" doesn't make it in this ugly as shit country we are in right now. Take it from me, I am a Southern Female, and have been playing, and winning this goddamned cat game for almost 37 years since I started Kindergarten.

Write it down, and take it straight to the top.

Stephanie

[miss_kitty]

14. right on

great minds follow the same track....

[friesianrider]

15. Eeewww...

She seriously asked you if you could afford to buy shampoo? :eyes:

I'd high-tail it out of there if I could. I'm sorry it sucks so bad...sounds exactly like my HS though. I was a cheerleader so always in the "popular" crowd until about 10th grade when I defended some poor girl the jocks were picking on. It was SO clique-y.

:hug: Sorry, Sannum. Hang in there and either try your best to ignore them and interact with them as little as possible, or maybe you could try and find a new job (or maybe even a transfer?).

[Taverner]

16. Why on earth would you want to work at Abercrombie???

Just remember - they are soulless idiots with no brain beyond the initial lizard brain that makes us think big is always better...

[newportdadde]

17. All workplaces are like highschool.

Just take a look around. How many of the male managers are 6' + ex jock/frat types. How many of the women are blond hotties coming in at 5' 4'' and 115lbs or at least were 15 years ago? I can think out of 20 different managers I see one ugly older woman and one short guy. The rest are pretty much all cool or at least use to be cool.

[billyskank]

18. No job is worth that

Find another one and get the fuck out of there.

In that order. :)