NSMA-love in Barstow: a true story

[ForrestGump]

Barstow, California, is famous for...um....well...it's just sort of there, quirkily baking in the heat of the Mojave Desert.



It wasn't baking so much yesterday, though, when NSMA and I came together in this rough-and-tumble desert town to warm things up a little. It was, however, a perfect spring-like day with that crisply cerulean desert sky cloudless above a sere landscape rendered in a thousand more shades of brown and gray than you'd think exist. Hard to believe that, elsewhere in this great Republic, people were shoveling snow from their driveways.

It has been a long while since I first and last met NSMA, about eighteen months. Much has changed since then but, as soon as I saw the hood of her car pull into view at our rendezvous, I knew that one thing had not. For her, the sight of the Big Red Throbbing Thing Between My Legs was reassuring, at least. Sure enough, within minutes of meeting her and enjoying one of her outsized hugs, she had me taking my clothes off; then she took her top down and away we went. It was heavenly, my friends and neighbors. As we hit our stride, she began moving faster and faster...I squeezed the firmness of her thighs and she held on to my boots; I slurped hungrily at the delicious flavor placed before me and she nodded in appreciation. I was honestly not sure if she could handle all of the meat presented her but, sure enough, she moaned deeply in appreciation when she first raised it to her lips and took a taste....before long, she had all of that juicy meat deep inside her. And I raised her bodily off the ground with the sheer power of my...

...and here I cut away to a train crossing the vastness of the lonely desert, leaving the rest to the imagining of the reader. A tunnel may or may not be involved...

..because I'm really tired and I don't know how much more I can innuendo-ize while remaining literally true to the almost-perfectly-innocent goings on we had going on in Barstow. Wish you were there!

[In_The_Wind]

1. Thank you for starting my morning off with a smile.

[ForrestGump]

3. No problema

:D

You know how things are out in California... :-)

[In_The_Wind]

10. Yes ~

so I've heard ...
:thumbsup:

[ForrestGump]

11. That's about it

:D

Peace, man...

[Heidi]

2. In before the lock.

:rofl:

Gawd, Forrest. Wanna come to Switzerland? :rofl: :spray:

[ForrestGump]

5. Don't be rude

I assume you're talking about a lock on a chastitty belt. A natural assumption, I'd say. :P

If I come to Swissland, can I bring NSMA? :headbang:

[Heidi]

7. You betcha!

It's a small country, but I think there's room for two more of DU's finest. :thumbsup:

[ForrestGump]

12. Cool!

I was going to say something about alpenhorns, but

a) I don't want to be banned

b) I don't want NSMA's knee thrust enthusiastically between mine and then upwards...

:D

[Heidi]

13. Since you're setting an example by exercising self-restraint,

I guess I shouldn't mention one of this nation's most popular and romantic getaways: the warm cheese baths of Appenzell. :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

15. Coddle my curds!

Do they serve tortilla chips with that? :o

[RevCheesehead]

21. Then there's always the local option....

Come here and I'll let you smell my DairyAir. :D

[ForrestGump]

25. :o

:rofl:

Why, Reverend... :blush:

[RevCheesehead]

29. It's our unofficial state motto.

One of two, which never made it on the license plate:

1. Welcome to WI, come smell our Dairy Air.
2. Eat Cheese, or die.

[Heidi]

26. You'll never believe this, but . . .

I lived for a long time in the Great Midwest, and I lovelovelove the smells of dairy air, ranch air and County Fair 4-H Show air. :thumbsup: (I'm not so keen on meatpacking-plant-air, though. :puke: )

[RevCheesehead]

30. If you ever come stateside, Heidi -

you simply must come and visit the frozen tundra! :)

[Heidi]

36. Is _your_ frozen tundra different

from the frozen tundras (tundrai? tundri? :shrug) of Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa and Colorado? :scared:

Heck, I'd visit just to meetcha, gf! :thumbsup:

[RevCheesehead]

37. The unique thing about OUR tundra -

is that it's the same as the Green Bay Packers. :7

[Heidi]

38. Well, then, that makes _all_ the difference to _me_.

(Since I moved away from Sooner land, where I grew up, and Husker land, where I spent many years, I don't know nothin' 'bout no football, Miz Scahlett. :blush: )

[ForrestGump]

22. "Chastitty"?

Oops. :blush:

Sigmund strikes again.

[matcom]

4. damn! just on my first cup of coffee!

:rofl:

not awake enough for this yet but :thumbsup:

[ForrestGump]

6. Wake up call

:rofl:

Like, peace 'n' love from California, dude... :hi:

[matcom]

9. tell me more about the tunnel

:rofl:

[ForrestGump]

14. You'll have to use your imagination for that...

[matcom]

17. it's so vast!

:o

[ForrestGump]

19. But in a good way

:rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

8. what part was "almost"?

And do you have any plans to visit the frozen tundra?? :loveya:

[ForrestGump]

16. Almost?

A gentleman would never say. But she's got very firm thighs. :D

And surely you mean the once-frozen-tundra, now steamy as all get out.... :-)

[RevCheesehead]

24. It's hard to say.

It's still cold, but we're told to expect 4 to 6 inches tonight. :shrug:

I've heard these kind of promises before. :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

18. P.S.

After NSMA roundly satisfied her craving for protein, we got a call from LynneSin and JimmyJazz...as much sapphic fun as we were having in the desert, well, let me tell you, back East they were...um...let's just say there was much giggling and mention was made of the agreeable proportions of Ms Jazz' rear quarters. :o

I don't know about those Eastern types.

Time for me to either go to sleep or pop in my copy of Wild Women Of Wellesley. :P

[DS1]

20. Tunnel through the desert?

[ForrestGump]

23. Bugs isn't showing up!

Must be one o' them there computer Bugs...

[merh]

27. Oh my!

What an adventure.

:smoke:

[supernova]

28. That was, ... excuse me..

:smoke: :rofl:

Glad you guys had a good time. :D :D

Thanks for the morning laugh, Forrest. :pals:

[GOPisEvil]

31. Excellent! But...Barstow?

I know it's in-between...but...Barstow! You rode in the NSMA-mobile? It's sweet isn't it? :D

[FuzzySlippers]

32. I feel like such a voyeur.

:blush:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

46. So did Barstow

;)for the record, Barstow is famous for being the other exit between Los Angeles and Vegas :D

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

33. Hahahahahaha...only YOU could make a steak dinner sound like THAT

I'm SO not worthy :D


( you did, however, forget to mention how the people at the local coffee joint ogled at your big throbbing red thing)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

35. Wow, my dear NSMA! What a great story!

A steak dinner, huh? Only Forrest could tell it like that......

Glad you had fun!

:loveya: :hug:

[merh]

40. You mean he was just describing a steak dinner?

:wow:

Glad you both had a such fun. :hi:

[In_The_Wind]

42. NSMA!

You are worthy!
You are a wonderful person!
I'm just very sorry that we live on opposite coast.



It was great meeting you.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

43. No worries Joanie

The unworthiness was a jab at the fact that I could NEVER have written that OP. I've matched wits with Forrest before, but his wit exceeds all...it is something for which we may all reach but will always pitifully miss. He is a master of wit.

Worthy of his presence? Indeed I was or he would not have made the two hour trek in holiday traffic.

I do have to add that I read in the Barstow Gazette that Elvis was definitively spotted yesterday at the Idle Spur.

[In_The_Wind]

45. LOL!

I'm glad you clarified all of that for me.
What was I thinking!
Carry on.


*returning to my knitting*

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

47. He said "cerulean"

I said, "wow! now THAT'S fucking blue!"

[In_The_Wind]

49. Are you ...

Azure



Cause sometimes I am.
just sometimes ...
you understand.

[DS1]

50. Jeez, it's just a motorcycle

:shrug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

51. Oh god did they get to you too?

[aclog]

34. And I raised her bodily off the ground with the sheer power of my...

flatulence?

[Taverner]

39. Isn't Barstow that place Hunter was a half a mile out of

When the drugs began to kick in?

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. Stop it!

And me...thousands of miles away...staring gloomily out the window...at...nothingness...vast nothingness.

I'm so glad you guys had a great time. I almost feel as if I was there. Well, I feel "something" anyway. :hi:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

44. Your ears should have been ringing at least a dozen times

[johnnie]

48. Sounds like fun

All of this "meating" and calling each other going on and everyone forgot about me. :(

Oh well, maybe I need to get me one of those throbbing red things.

Have a good New Years dude.

[BigMcLargehuge]

52. Locked

The air was suffused with perfume and the lingering smell of spent candles as she lay there waiting for the lock. I paused at the door, we'd been drinking since early afternoon, not so unusual here in the withering midday heat, and now the evening cool had swept down from the hills and cooled the little town.

"Sit beside me on the bed, Big," she cooed.

I eased in beside her. The mattress squealed and resisted but eventually gave way to my mass. She reached out and caressed the chrome loop atop the lock's body.

"It's cold."

"I know, but it has to be this way."

She nodded in understanding.

Big McLargehuge
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