Help, please, right away...

[x-g.o.p.er]

I am in a pickle. My oldest daughter is getting married this weekend. Yeah!!! That's not the problem.

Daughter number 2 (maid of honor) just got off the phone with me with the weirdest request ever. At least I think so.

The groom to be has not had a bachelor party, and she wants me to put one together. The parameters:

1. Everyone is flying in to the wedding location NLT Sat AM.
2. It will be a small gathering, no more than half a dozen people on SAT PM.
3. The father of the bride (me) will be there.
4. The father of the groom, I think, (who I have never met, and could be an uber-christian) is also on the guestlist, according to daughter #2.

Look, I'm a pretty modern guy, cool if you will. I have no problem with taking the kid to a strip joint and getting him drunk off of his ass. It's a harmless rite of passage that every man should experience, and I think it's neat, in a way, that my other daughter thinks I'm "cool" enough to be able to throw this thing together at the last minute and come through in a pinch, as it were. What guy should get married with NO bachelor party?

Question 1: If you were the groom, would you want the father of the bride there?

Question 2: Should I even do this? If I don't, it won't get done.

HELP!!!!!!!

I am truly torn between by guy instincts and my dad instincts.

What would you guys do?

[yvr girl]

1. You have a daughter old enough to get married?

Wow.

No idea about the bachelor party.

[x-g.o.p.er]

8. Wicked crazy, isn't it? n/t

[yvr girl]

16. I'm sure you were

VERY young when you had them.

[x-g.o.p.er]

18. Well, actually,

the 2 oldest are step daughters, if you want to get technical. They were 6 and 3 when my wife met, and they consider me dad.

[democracyindanger]

2. 1. Moot question

You're the one organizing the party. Kinda goes without saying. But it wouldn't be a bad idea if you talked with him about it, and let him know you can see how it might be weird, so you have no problem throwing it together and not attending;

2. Again, talk to him. See what he wants. When I put together my little brother's bParty, I asked him what he wanted to do. He said he didn't really care, but didn't want any strippers--which was kinda out of character for him, but I can see how a guy about to marry the love of his life wouldn't want to be surrounded by skank.

[tjdee]

6. "Wouldn't want to be surrounded by skank"--ding ding ding!

I'd find out how daughter 1 and the groom to be feel about it, because if MY dad was setting up a stripper encounter for my fiance, I wouldn't be too pleased with either of them. I am a prude though.

I never understood bachelor parties with strippers, that whole thing. Like you said, if a guy's about to marry the love of his life, and actually wants to, I don't get why he'd like to feel up some other women right before he does it. :shrug:

[Maddy McCall]

3. Um...First, how would Daughter 1 feel about it?

It's innocent enough fun--but it might be an awkward first-social-situation with Dad-in-law...or not.

Would you feel comfortable doing this? If so, why not just go to a local watering hole, sit down with the other guys, have some drinks, and talk--might be a less awkward way to get to know each other. :shrug:

[x-g.o.p.er]

7. I thought about that...

But he's been engaed to her for 2 years, and everyone that would be attending know each other pretty well. And let's just say he wouldn't be opposed to a strip joint...but I would still feel awkward.

I mean, how would you like to be at a strip joint with BOTH of your future sons-in-law?

[Maddy McCall]

19. Gads, I would be uncomfortable.

That's just me, though.

[KitchenWitch]

4. Is there an Indian Casino near you

Have a party there.

My husband's bachelor party was held at the card club/horse racetrack. An enjoyable time, according to him, was had by all.

[Maddy McCall]

5. Excellent idea!

:thumbsup:

[x-g.o.p.er]

9. Great Idea!!

[radwriter0555]

32. Yes, go gambling and drinking instead, have some cigars, some whiskey,

make that your stag night, with no strippers or hookers.

THAT is a great idea.

Just keep it clean! Well, only slightly soiled.

[radwriter0555]

33. AND PICK A DESIGNATED DRIVER! No dead groomsmen please.

Live it up, baby!

[Shine]

10. Jeez, talk about last minute notice! Why doesn't he have a Best Man?

they're usually the ones to handle this sort of task.

It really depends on what the groom wants. Does he even WANT a bachelor party? What sort of party does he want? Maybe he doesn't want to go out and get shit-faced and look at strippers. On the other hand, if he's relatively young, than maybe that's exactly what he wants. It just depends.

My hubby had a bachelor party that my father attended. It was a whole day affair, starting with rapelling down the face of a 200 ft cliff with all the guys. One of them was a rock climbing instructor. It was a great metaphor, jumping off the cliff... :) Afterwards they had a big ole bbq and then they all did a ceremonial Native American sweat, banged drums, spoke blessings, the works. It was very cool.

That's what he wanted.

It depends on what the groom wants.

Good luck and once again, many blessings to you and yours! Have fun! :hi:

[x-g.o.p.er]

12. Best man got deployed to Iraq on a short notice deal...

My other daughter's fiancee (very good guy, too--damn, I'm a lucky man) is filling in as a last-minute sort of thing. Very big of him, but he didn't know how to proceed with all the logistical issues and all. Hey, at least I give him points for trying to scrape something together.

We don't have the time to get that elaborate, but your hubby's BP sounded like a VERY cool time.

[Shine]

13. Oh, got it. Wow, that's a toughie. Well, I think it's big of YOU to step

up to the plate, too.

I guess that's what Dads are for, afterall. :hug: Your daughter is very lucky.

[grace0418]

11. I would think strippers would be out.

Even if he would normally think a bachelor party with strippers was awesome (which I think fewer guys are really into because they can get all the porn they want online), I would guess it might be a little awkward coming from his bride's dad. Not a reflection on your coolness at all, it's just a little odd and nearly guaranteed to make for a little uneasiness.

Where's the best man, anyway? Why isn't he handling this? Doesn't the groom have friends or brothers who could take this on?

Anyway, the casino idea sounds good. It's manly and fun without being awkward. Good luck!

[x-g.o.p.er]

15. I feel the same way about the stripper awkwardness,

but I am assured that wouldn't be a problem. That kind of worries me, too. I mean, if he would be comfortable going to a strip joint with his soon to be father-in-law, on his bachelor party....WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!

Damn!!!!

God, it would have freaked me the hell OUT if my father in law had been at my bachelor party.

[grace0418]

20. Who assured you? Your other daughter?

I don't know, I think whoever assured you is not thinking that through really well. I think it would be awkward even in the best of circumstances. It's not like people are naive virgins when they get married anymore. The silly sex stuff is just that, silly. Better to have a guy's night out, drink a little, gamble a little, leave it at that.

My husband and his brother went out to dinner before our wedding. And somehow my husband survived without strippers or blow-up dolls or anything of the sort. I expressly forbade my friends from hiring a male stripper for me (most them are so *blech* with stringy mullets and oiled-up fake tans). We ate chocolate and watched my favorite movies.

edited to add: I just read the thing you wrote about the best man, now I understand. It's good of you to take this on. Anyway, I think you should trust your instinct. You sound like the idea of a stripper and all the porno acoutrements makes you a bit uneasy, and I think that's going to be the way he feels too. Good luck and have fun! You sound like an awesome father-in-law! :hi:

[x-g.o.p.er]

22. Thanks for the kind words!!

I hope I am, lol.

[grace0418]

25. You're welcome.

I bet you're a pretty awesome dad too!

Good luck and let us know how the weekend goes!

[x-g.o.p.er]

28. Awwwwwwww,

You're sweet.

I will. After tonight, I should be posting again Monday.

:hi:

[caty]

14. I would check with the groom

and find out what he would like to do.

[LeftyMom]

17. Strippers would be too wierd

He needs some sort of naughty fun that won't embarass him in front of you. I like the gambling suggestion upthread.

[RandomKoolzip]

21. I didn't have a bachelor party.

Didn't want one; seemed like one of those rites of paasage I could forgo without too much sadness.

Plus, I get clammy around strippers (Call it the Opus syndrome, if you will.)

[Nicole]

23. Go for it

It's cool that they want you to do it. They must think a lot of you to have even been able to ask you.

However you should leave the party shortly before the stripper arrives. You can enjoy a few drinks & dinner with the guys. Then make like an old man who needs his sleep & get the hell out of there before any of you have a reason to feel uncomfortable.

[freethought]

24. A few of my married buddies didn't have or want bachelor parties

They opted for doing something fun with everyone, not just "the guys". One had a big camping trip. Whole bunch of people went, had a great time.

Personally, I'm not into them. Too much testosterone and dumb people drinking too much.

[x-g.o.p.er]

27. That is really a great idea, but unfortunately,

I don't have the lead time to put something like that together.

We're inside of 50 hours until H-Hour.

[x-g.o.p.er]

26. Here's my solution....

I will take them to a casino, and we will gamble there for awhile. We have all been to a casino before, so that won't be an issue. Hell, I'll even front him some money.

After about two hours of gambling, and a strip-o-gram for the groom in the middle of the gambling floor, I will send the younger guys off to a Gentlemen's Club of their choice, and put a few hundred bucks in the hand of the best man to do with as he sees fit, as long as he comes home broke.

Then his dad and I can go back to the hotel and have a few drinks and talk a bit, since I have never met him before.

How does that sound?

[LeftyMom]

30. Sounds like a plan

:D

[radwriter0555]

34. That sounds really good, but appoint someone as the designated driver,

okay?

That sounds like an excellent plan!

[x-g.o.p.er]

35. Taxi cab is the transportation of choice

[radwriter0555]

37. THEN HAVE A BLAST! woooo HOO! Let us know how it all turns out..

Good plan and mazltov!

[amitten]

29. Well, this sounds like it's been pre-planned by both daughters.

I've met a lot of brides-to-be who get more than a little squeamish about the impending bachelor party. They hate to admit it and spoil the guy's little ritual. They're often secretly afraid that something pretty bad may occur, and they will just never know it happened. Not a comforting thought, whether it's happening at a bachelor party or happening in "real life." Nobody wants their significant other squeezing some other broad's boobs, or worse, regardless of the occasion.

Bachelor party + Dad = absolutely no chance of infidelity occurring.

Pretty good plan, I must say! Oh by the way, I think you should attend. :D

[x-g.o.p.er]

31. Normally, I would agree, but...

the original best man had to go to Iraq on short notice, and the stand-in best man, who is my other daughter's fiancee, was reluctant to call me about going to titty bars with him and the guy who is dating his OTHER daughter, so daughter #2 made the call to get he conversation rolling.

In a weird way, it was very sweet of her.

[yellowdogmi]

36. When my best friend got married

We all went golfing. The round included both of the fathers. Then we sent the old men home and went out to the strip club. We ended up at the grooms home drinking till the wee hours. The time on the golf course was cool because we could all mingle and get to know each other. It made the reception party more fun too. Have a blast and follow their lead. Congratulations.