Should I Be Worried About My Neighbor???

[southerngirlwriter]

Here's what happened....I am not sure what to think of it.

There has been a serious situation in my life. I had to report someone -- an ex-friend I used to be close to -- to Child Protective Services. He was neglecting his daughter quite badly. Well, when the investigators showed up, he called and threatened to kill me. He was drunk, and I know he doesn't own a weapon, but I wanted to be careful anyway.

So, I had a talk with my next-door neighbor. (I live in an apartment. He and I are the only two people who live on the bottom floor of this apartment building. Also, as it turns out, we are the only white people in this complex that either of us are aware of. I'm not sure if that's relevant to him; it's irrelevant to me. Keep reading.)

I told him that I don't think the guy is dangerous, but people do get weird when their kids are involved, and so, if he saw a 6'1'' guy who's mostly bald with just a fringe of coal-black hair hanging around, would he please call the cops straightaway? He said sure, no problem.

Well, a few nights ago, my neighbor heard me screaming. (I had just hung up the phone after a talk with my RW mother and was venting.)

The next thing I know, he was pounding the holy hell out of my front door. I looked through the peephole and saw that it was him, so I opened the door. I started to say, "What's going on?" But all I got out of my mouth was "What's go-"

My neighbor burst in the door holding a sawed-off shotgun going, "Where is he? Where is he? I'll kill the sonofabitch before I let him hurt a woman! Where is he??"

It took me a few minutes to convince him that everything was okay. He assured me that his idea of a warning shot is "right between the eyes" and that if my creepy, child-abusing ex-friend comes around, he won't get the chance to hurt me.

On one level, I was truly touched. It may not be PC, but I appreciate chivalry -- the idea that good men should help protect women from bad men -- and I feel a little safer knowing that my neighbor will rush to my aid like that.

I should also mention for you Yankees :-) that a man rushing to the aid of a woman with a shotgun is not an unusual thing in the Deep South -- it's not nearly as weird or extreme here as it probably seems to someone who's not from around here.

On another level, it was kind of scary. He was ready to shoot someone in front of me without knowing anything about the situation other than what I'd told him before, which wasn't much.

So, I am not sure what to think of this. Thoughts appreciated.

[molly]

1. You were screaming?

what did you expect? I give the guy a whole helluva lot of credit - you need to control your emotions.

[southerngirlwriter]

3. You have a point....

....but I wasn't aware that the walls were so thin that he could hear me, first of all, and secondly, I was screaming something bad about President Bush, not "HELP ME" or "PLEASE STOP HURTING ME" or something like that.

However, you do have a point. Thank you.

[Dogmudgeon]

2. And I should mention for you Rebs

That it's not unknown up here, either.

And us Yankees often rush to people's aid without stopping to grab the shootin'-iron.

Good for your neighbor, though. All it takes is for someone to show a little spine, and the cowardly bullies crumple up and blow away. North or South, he's done gone and set himself a good example.

BTW, I've seen women do similar things, though obviously with a different sense of style. (Shotguns are so gauche. Now, your basic high-tech, hand-held, European engineered pistol, that gets respect from potential criminals, even if it's not loaded.)

--bkl

[commander bunnypants]

4. I am thinkin of buying a double barrel shootin iron

but in my mood today I had better not.


DDQM

[Dogmudgeon]

15. The double-barrelled shootin' irons ...

... they have their place, mind you.

It's just that for a sweet, petite, and stylish young thing to be packin' a four-foot length of serious elephant-hunting heat under the concealed-carry laws doesn't make a lick of sense. Those new high-velocity gas-impulse shootin' irons make so much more of a fashion statement, especially when the prospective rapist wets his own pants in public.

Actually, I'm not a "gun nut". Better 60 seconds of mortal fear, or a few days' worth of pain, and to be left free but with a seriously traumatic memory, than a multi-year trip through the "Justice System".

--bkl
Such a sweet and forgiving soul, am I!

[Keebs]

5. ugggh

We could have been reading about this situation gone horribly wrong. I say keep your door locked, and ask who it is.. if it's the neighbor make sure he knows everything is ok before you open the door. LOL

I do think it's sweet that he would face serious punishment to protect you though. =) Just be careful!

[Kamika]

6. Dont know if you should be worried..

But that other guy sounds like he's a real man :) You should consider yourself lucky to have a neighbour like that.. but don't sream too much, Or he'll stop checking up on you.

[Divernan]

7. Reminds me of the fable about the boy who cried "Wolf!"

You're lucky he didn't decide to shoot the lock off the door while you were standing right behind it.

The investigators are not supposed to tell suspects who reported them for possible child abuse. If your state doesn't have a law spelling this out, do the world a favor and contact your local legislator and ask him/her to introduce a bill correcting this lack. However that would take a year or more to pass. And in your case, the damage is already done.

If I were you, I would do all of the following:
Check with the County prosecutor/district attorney's office and tell them that the suspect was evidently given your name by the investigators and find out whether this was standard operating procedure.

Talk to the head of the Child Protective Services and tell him or her that your identity was revealed. Ask if that is their standard operating policy. Obviously, no one is going to report child abuse if they receive death threats in return! Ask him/her what action they will take to see that this doesn't happen to anyone in the future.

Report the death threat to the police and ask for their assistance in obtaining a Protection From Abuse order to keep this violent drunk away from you. So what if he "doesn't own a weapon"? Is it that hard to buy a gun where you live? Couldn't he run you down with a car or torch your building? Life is not a made-for-TV-drama. Take that threat seriously.

[Goldmund]

8. I think your neighbor's a fuckin' nut

Imagine if a male friend of yours was there with you while you were making your phone call and this vigilante burst in. Or even imagine if the actual guy was there, but you were simply arguing about the proposed steel tariphs. Or a million other things.

This kind of "shoot now and think later" kind of mentality isn't geared to help someone, only to self-gratify one's macho self-image. This neighbor of yours probably went back home, cracked open a Budweiser, scratched his nuts and said "dang! I thought I had me a kill.".

[monkeyboy]

18. I agree, the guy's trying a little too hard

And I think he may be trying to get into SGW's pants by impressing her with his little chivalry act. Something else to watch out for.

[TXvote]

9. Agree on An Alarm Code

Since this year might incite yelling on a few occassions, you should consider agreeing on an alarm word that moves your neighbor to action. Be sure it is not a word that you would normally use or can be mistaken for another common word. Ex: "fucker" can be mistaken for "butter" and is not a good choice. A word that sounds like a voodoo curse may have added benefit.
Also, let your enthusiastic neighbor know that you have no idea how to get blood out of carpet and simply cocking the double barrel shotgun will freeze most people in their tracks.

You may consider calling CPS and letting them know the caseworker revealed your identity (BIG NO-NO) and you now feel your life may be in danger as well as the child's. They need to know this caseworker let that slip. Very bad thing to do.

Peace,
Teresa
www.votervirgin.com

[southerngirlwriter]

10. That is a great idea.

He's coming over in a few minutes. I will tell him that when he comes over and brings the shotgun, he should only assume I'm in danger if I say "aardvark." That's a word I'd never ordinarily use and pretty hard to mistake for something else.

I think the caseworkers are allowed to tell in this state. I say that because this was the second time I've reported child abuse. Four years ago, I lived in a different apartment building, and I heard a kid getting beaten with a belt. (Leather on bare skin is an unmistakeable sound.) I called and reported, and a few days later the father came and knocked on my door and said, "If you're so smart, YOU tell me how to discipline this boy without the belt! It's the only thing that gets through to him!"

[truthspeaker]

11. that's nuts

That the identity of an abuse reporter isn't kept secret.

Your neighbor sounds a little hot-headed, but I wouldn't worry too much.

[RobinA]

12. Yes It Is

Yes, the identity of an abuse reporter is kept secret. However, it often doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who reported you if you are a reportee.

[trof]

13. oh lordy

Now I have a picture of you standing there yelling "AARDVARK!!!" at the top of your lungs.
I think just that, in and of itself, would scare off an attacker.
;-)

[Dogmudgeon]

17. God, that's sickening

I've had the experience of hearing leather-on-buttocks in two of my living situations.

The first was a little kid whose fanatic parents used to whip her nearly every other day.

The second was a kinky couple. Of some things, I approve, and wierd sex has never gotten my proverbial goat.

What really got to me was the terrified screaming followed by the heartbroken sobbing of the child. Fortunately, it would only last 20 minutes or so. Then one of her parents would start screaming, "You want to cry? I'll give you something to cry about!" If the kid couldn't stifle it in about 60 seconds, the beating continued.

Smiling, blow-dried, church-goin' couple, don'tcha know?

In some jurisdictions of the South, the identities of abuse reporters are not only not kept private, there's usually some church lady or lay minister working in the office who takes the tale back to his or her congregation, who decide that the person reporting the abuse has sinned against the Lord and Proverbs 22:16.

--bkl

[SoCalDem]

14. I don't know what I would advise, but

it seems like you must have pretty thin walls..

Did the neighbor lose his kids?? If not, he might have just been venting as well..

You might want to consider movinig.. Maybe CPS can help pay for your move, since they put you into that position.

[Obamarama]

16. Whatever you do, DON'T.....

Go screaming at the top of your lungs the next time you're having great sex. I'd hate to be your boyfriend in that instance! The poor guy would be liable to get knocked off before he got off...

[madddog]

19. it would concern me...

while his willingness to come to your aid is admirable, the potential for bad things to happen is pretty high; if he is willing to burst into your house with a drawn weapon not knowing the circumstances, it's a recipe for disaster. I would figure out a nice diplomatic way to tell him you appreciate his intentions, but that he *might* want to think about the potential use of deadly force in a situation he's not completely familiar with.

You might explain to him several of the scenarios outlined here...I like the steel tariffs one lol...and see if he can understand your fear about him jumping to conclusions.

As someone who has a *number* of firearms, and a concealed carry permit, I would never do what your friend did. I would certainly come to your door to see if everything was ok, but NO ONE would see my weapon unless it was absolutely necessary to save your life. Most states have brandishing laws, where merely showing a firearm in public is a crime under certain circumstances.

Now, I know things are different down south, but you still might want to think about mentioning this to your neighbor.