50 and up ,DO you have friends , do you have family ?

[blues90]

Some how through the years here in LA most of my wifes and my friends have moved away and neither of us have much family left .

It seems in LA it is not easy to make new friends and added to this my wife has not gone out in public but a few times over the past 10 years . We both panic thinking about this and were wondering if we alone in this manner having no friends or much outside contact .

All the years have worked due to the type of work i never eally met anyone who I really wanted to hang around , living in hollywood is for the young or the well off it appears . We think of where to move to and where it may be better . A small town does not seem appealing that much , it's pretty difficult to just pick up and move not knowing where to go or what to expect or to have the money or motivation to do so does not help us out of this rut .

I just wanted to know who else here is in a similar situation and if so how do you deal with it ?

[blue neen]

1. All of my family lives out of state.

I have cousins, aunts, and uncles still in the area, though.

I'm lucky enough to have many friends in the area...old friends from high school, college, neighbors, and friends I've made among my husband's and son's acquaintances.

I made a lot of new friends when I got involved in working in area politics. I would suggest that as a place to start. There are probably many Democratic organizations in your area. They can always use the help!

Good luck! :hi:

[Stardust]

2. No. Yes.

I moved to the the LA area about a year and half ago and I haven't really made any friends. I'm not sure it it's just the LA mentality or me, or maybe both. I can relate to your wife not going out--I'd probably be a hermit if I didn't have to go out in the world to support myself and buy groceries, etc. I've always thought moving elsewhere would solve my problems but it never has. After the newness wears off, it's still just me and my baggage. The other poster's advice to get involved in politcal groups is a good one. There are plenty going on in LA. I recently began attending the Valley Grassroots for Democracy meetings. There's even an "Impeach Bush" meetup at the Arclight Theater in Hollywood every month. (Unfortunately, one weekend a month doesn't exactly alleviate the lonliness and boredom.)

Good luck to you and your wife. Hope things improve for you.

[femmocrat]

3. Hi blues90!

How are things.... any better? I've been wondering how you are doing... since you posted a few days ago. Have you decided to move, then?

I think it is hard to meet people and make friends where ever you live, big city or small town. People just keep to themselves more these days. How about your sisters? Would you want to live near them? Even if you haven't been in touch, it might be easier to rekindle family ties than to start anew with strangers. We have lived in our current location for 21 years and I barely know any of the neighbors. We mostly keep in touch with family, even though they are not nearby.

Good luck to you!

[Kajsa]

4. I'm in OC, and I have very little family left.

I have a few friends in the area.

I think joining political action groups would be
a great way to meet new people.

Hang in there!

:hi:

[Floogeldy]

5. You need to work harder at making friends.

:smoke:

[hyphenate]

6. You might feel a little better

moving to someplace like Pasadena. There are more mature people there, and it's a nice area overall.

When I lived in L.A. (I was in West Covina), I didn't have many friends. Just getting to them was a big pain in the ass, and it was easier not to bother.

My mom lives right on the Pasadena/Arcadia line, and it's friendly enough. They know some of the neighbors, and it's a lot more "close" feeling than Hollywood. I lived for nearly three years in Hollywood back in 1979-1981, and boy, was I glad to get the hell out of there!

[riderinthestorm]

7. Volunteer work!

What are your interests? There are boys and girls clubs seeking mentors, or tutoring programs, soup kitchens, nature and historical preserves needing interpreters and docents (and clearing work) - oh my goodness, there are too many to list!

[blues90]

9. I keep thinking moving would help

i realize it's not a cure all but still living here all these years and it has changed so much it feels like I am in a strange place with spots of old time reminders hanging around . I thought moving would bring some sort of new outlook , a way to see over the top of this rut .

I thought about moving back to Illinois where there are seasons but this is just another distant hope , things have changed alot there too . One sister lives in rockford and rockford is not really my idea of a great city and there does not seem to be work there My younger sister lives in stanford florida and she and her family have gotten pretty religious which is a bit scary for me to deal with i simply would not fit in there and I don't care to live in florida .

There are two main concerns , one is finding a way to help my wife get outside and be able to feel like she is still a person , she has lost most all hope of ever getting out , alot is due to agoraphopia and panic attacks , all the years when we had money to seek professional help did not seem to help much or only for very short periods of time . So i need to basically find a way to build up her moral and be close enough of work a job she can be involved in . This is a real tough nut with no easy solution . Second , this weighs on me knowing her situation , I have come to a point where even my working has become difficult even to find a job right now that provides some sort of security just so we can maintain this sorry situation we now have in life . I have lost my confidence and it's difficult to get interested in any job , I never felt this way before and it scares the hell out of me . I have always worked steady but these last two years have been a slide down the hill the way jobs have gone away . i have to begin a new type of work , what I did do is basically gone due to saturation of the few car dealers who can offer anything . Last job was very long hours so my wife was alone 13 hours a day so things were worse for both of us .

Somehow we have to make it by supporting eachother , not easy when one or the other is depressed .

I know this sounds hopeless , at least it seems hopeless . Basically it is all up to me to keep going and I have run out of ideas and the will to fight , this worries me to no end . It's a matter of finding purpose without exposing the depression to the rest of the world . Like put on a happy face sort of pressure . I just don't know .

She is great with people ,it's just getting her out there . We had friends but we let years go by after they moved and we did nothing . Now we are here .

[Lydia Leftcoast]

8. Wherever I've moved, I've always looked for

1) a church choir
2) a gym
3) a place to volunteer
4) an apartment/house in an area that has a neighborhood hang-out type coffee shop

These types of outlets are necessities for those of us who have home-based careers. If I didn't have these things, I could easily go for days without talking to anyone.

[seemunkee]

10. Only a couple of friends

2 other couples, I have several much younger friends, I'm 49 they are early 20's, that I climb with but we don't do a lot of socializing outside of that. I have no family in this area and my wife only has her parents.