The Loss Of A Sibling....The Pain Is Acute And Overwhelming

[Binka]

I lost my mother 11 years ago and it was tragic but the loss of my sister has been so much more cruel. She was my peer and only 13 months older than me. I am still reeling and Peyton and I made the 15,000 mile round trip journey to put her ashes to rest at sea. Now I am back home in Italy but I am so at a loss to explain why this hurts so much. Especially as she struggled her whole adult life with booze; a part of me always knew she would meet a horrific death, but she did not she just died in her sleep. I knew she would die young, the path was just too obvious yet I am awash in tears daily. I guess my own mortality is looming in my mind but it is more than that.

The kid that was ALWAYS there before me is gone. I still see us in a 60's photo wearing Yogi Bear masks and I am already taller than her (a sore point for us as she was 5-5 as an adult and I grew to be 5-9) we were really happy in that photo sort of a hidden joke between us. Even though she resented my height we were hiding from them...the parents.

I will miss her until the day I die. Irish twins they call us.

[wildhorses]

1. .......

:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

2. I'm sorry

:hug:

[amitten]

3. I'm so sorry.

Sorry you miss your sis...

:hug:

[Binka]

7. We Fought Like Cats & Dogs But We Loved Each Other So Much

In our weird family of a half sister 10 years older and a younger sibling 4 years out we were the core. Mick and Binka fighting and hugging. The parents were at a loss to figure us out. We liked it that way.

[speedoo]

4. I'm sorry for your loss.

But I think it's good to talk about your grief. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My dear Binka.........

My deepest condolences on the death of your beloved sister........

Of course you are reeling.......she was your closest blood relative....

And you had so many bonds from your whole life with her......

I know you will cry and miss her over many, many months....maybe years...

Perhaps this poem will help......I hope so:

Life is eternal;

And love is immortal;

And death is only a horizon;

And a horizon is nothing

Save the limit of our sight........

Please take care of yourself during this difficult time....

And ........remember.......That which is remembered, lives.......:hug:

[Bucky]

6. Hugs, Binka.

She sounds like a great "big" sister, even if she wasn't perfect. None of us are, but I'll bet she always knew she was loved.

[Binka]

9. Did I Tell You About The Time We "Borrowed" A Donkey?

We went to Tijuana to get drunk when we were 18 & 19 and this donkey was outside the bar, a tourist picture trap thingy. So we borrowed the donk and rode around TJ drunk as skunks. The cops were called but thanks to California Blonde good looks and legs they told the owner to stash his donkey in a safer place.

Mick rocked. I never would have done this on my own!

[Bucky]

26. Wow! Now THAT's an adventure!

poor donkey, abducted by drunken gringettes!

[ChickMagic]

8. I'm so sorry Binka

I've lost 2, so I know exactly how you feel. The pain gets
less intense as time goes by, but never goes away entirely.
Sitting in the bathtub was where I would always break down.
I don't know why. Yes, you will miss her, but you had her
and that's a wonderful thing. :hug:

[Binka]

10. Funny You Should Mention The Bath

I lost it in there a few nights back. Must be because my mom always bathed us together. Thanks ginbarn.

[ChickMagic]

13. Anytime, Binka.

You know where to PM me if you just want to talk.
You'll keep losing it in the bathtub for a while.
I still do - years later.

Don't be worried about that - the bond you shared
with her will never be broken. Never think you've
gone over the edge because of it. I still do double-takes
when I see someone who looks like my sister.

[Binka]

15. I Am Bawling Just Reading This

I was so far away when she died. Even though I invited her to Italy just weeks earlier. She looks just like my Peyton now aged five. Here is Peyton and Mick 40 years ago:

[ChickMagic]

19. What a beautiful child!

My niece has a lot of my genes, much to my last sibling's
chagrin. :) My only remaining sibling broke her neck a
couple of years ago while boating and I went straight to her
house and said, "You have got to be careful! We're the last
two and I don't want your kids!" :P I'm the eldest, so my
remaining sister didn't know our brother.

You're going to cry. That's just the way it works. Get it
out. Don't feel badly about that at all. If anyone tries
to give you grief over it, tell them they'll have to go
through me first. :hug:

[Binka]

20. She Is Gorgeous And Looks Just Like Mick

The entire funeral came to a stop when Pey showed up. These folks had not seen her in four years. They were just shocked. I am so glad I brought her as she showed them true love and compassion. When it came time for us to throw flowers out of the boat Pey said "we do this because Auntie Mickki is a flower we never should have lost."

It was perfect.

[ChickMagic]

21. Now I'm bawling too

Pey is beautiful inside and outside. A lot of people
don't take children to funeral rites, but they get
it. I was 6 when my brother/best friend died. I knew
exactly what had happened.

Pey wouldn't be the person she is if not for the
dynamic duo (Binka and Mickki), would she? Your sister
will live on in Pey and in your precious memories.

[Haole Girl]

23. That's so weird

I didn't think other people cried while sitting in a bathtub. Funny, the things we assume are unique about ourselves.

[Binka]

11. Totally Off Topic But Here Is Ben Who Almost Died Last October

With his love Danny aka Danielle who was his best friends girl before V was killed two weeks before leaving Iraq now they are together. They met at V's funeral. I get some comfort in life going on.

[NewWaveChick1981]

12. Binka, my heart goes out to you.

:hug: I am the oldest of three siblings, and I cannot imagine losing one. If I had an older sibling, I cannot imagine losing him or her either. :hug: You have my utmost sympathy. :pals:

[Binka]

14. I Am A Hard Core Toughie But This Was A Blow

Military kids are always tough but the CO's kids are expected to be tougher. Ah shit forget who our dad is we hurt too! Thank you.

[av8rdave]

16. I'm so sorry for your loss

I can't even imagine how difficult it must be

[Katina]

17. I am so sorry

losing a loved one is so painful. May your memories of her give you solace.

[Blue Diadem]

18. Oh Binka, I'm so sorry,

It's been 6 yrs for my brother and 14 yrs for my sister. The other poster's right, the pain is less frequent over time but it still hits, the missing them, just wanting to talk and share and hug.


:hug:

[Haole Girl]

22. Hugs for you, Binka

:hug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :hug:

My condolences.

:hug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :hug:



You write very well, by the way.

[Midlodemocrat]

24. I'm so sorry, Binka.

You've had quite a rough year. I hope you will gain some peace and comfort from the thoughts and memories of your beloved sister.

I don't have a sister and I am always jealous of those who do. The bond seems to be spectacular. I would assume that your grief is so strong because your love was so strong.

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

25. Binka, I remember when you first told us your sister had passed away.

I'm so sorry for your pain. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[hfojvt]

27. I would think that the 15,000 miles

would already be a huge separation. My parents and siblings have not really been a big part of my life for 22 years now, over half my life to this point. I probably take some comfort in the fact that they are still alive and I could call or write or visit or vice versa. My parents have lost their parents and mom has lost several siblings and dad one of his two brothers. In fact, such is our family separation that I was the first one to find out about the death of both his uncle and his aunt and to inform our side of the family of their passing.
I am sure that I am not prepared to lose them.

[xchrom]

28. oh binka...

you are in my thoughts.


peace be with you.

[Binka]

29. Oh You

Of course you would come. I am embarrassed as I am wearing my bathrobe. :loveya:

[bigwillq]

30. I am very sorry for your loss.

Words fail me but hugs don't :hug: :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Mike03]

31. I'm so sorry for your loss

Our families sound a bit similar. I was blessed to have twin sisters in my life and they mean so much to me, it would be horrible if anything happened to either of them, but they both struggle with issues that could interfere with their "aliveness" at any moment, and that has become a horrendous fear in my life.

Memory is such a tormentor. I remember our innocence, our joy, so many things that have been stolen from us over time. But it's such a blessing to have brothers or sisters. And it's such a tragic hardship to lose them.

[Joey Liberal]

32. Hey Binka

The next time you look up at the stars in the Italian sky, you will get some good vibes from Joey Liberal.

[zonkers]

33. Damn it Binka. I dont know you but my heart goes out to you, my friend.

[Kajsa]

34. I am so sorry for your loss, Binka.

The pain of lossing someone close to you
does subside with time.

But we never forget them.

You're in my thoughts and prayers at this
difficult time.

:hug:

btw; It's OK to be angry at the disease.

[ikojo]

35. Sorry for your loss.

I lost my brother, who was 18 months younger than me, in July 2001.

I wish I had words to comfort but I agree it's hard.


I have two sisters who are the same age for about a week each year. One was born on Oct 1 of one year and the other was born on Sept 22 of the following year.