Major Anxiety Attack This Morning

[bertha katzenengel]

I was an hour and a half late for work.

In the job I left in May - primarily due to stress, go figure - I worked for four years for a woman who terrified me if I was late or absent for any reason. She never believed anything I said about why I was late or absent. Perversely, if I was out for illness or a doc's visit and showed her a doc's note (not required), she'd say "oh, that's not necessary."

Yesterday being Columbus Day, and me used to having the day off, I went ahead and took it, even though it's not a holiday for the company where I am temping.

This morning when the alarm went off I couldn't get out of bed. Anxiety paralyzed me. My blood ran cold and I didn't figure it out until about 8:00: I was so used to getting ready to be trashed upon returning to work after time off. . . . :scared:

Of course I couldn't take anything for the attack until I got to work, because it makes me too drowsy to drive.

Anxiety attacks. :banghead:

[lizziegrace]

1. I have them too

And a couple workplace violence episodes have cemented them in my being. I'm terrified of making a mistake and being yelled at. Or worse, seeing someone get a piece of furniture hurled at them. I don't know if I'll ever recover completely. I think it's why I haven't been able to get my feet underneath me for the last two years. I'm shell-shocked.

:hug: Bertha. I truly understand.

[bertha katzenengel]

2. jesus, lizzie

PTSD . . . have you seen anyone? :hug:

[lizziegrace]

3. No

I thought I should be able to deal with it. After all, it was work and I was over 40. We all were ordered by the college to go through the interview process to report it. We did. The individual got a slap on the wrist. The rest of us were scarred and disillusioned. The next job was also in the same college for a man who screamed at only the 4 female employees, not the 30 males. I left after 3 months. I was afraid of my own shadow.

I should see someone. I have no insurance and no job. And I'm too humiliated and exhausted to search for help. :(

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. ......

:hug:

[bigwillq]

5. I know how you feel.

I've had attacks before.
I get them every once and awhile now.


They're not fun.
:hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

9. hey, Will

they suck, but it's over now

:hug:

[lizziegrace]

6. So Bertha

How do you think you can get past this involuntary reaction. Can you talk to someone? Can you talk yourself through the anxiety, since you understand where it's coming from?

:hug:

I *know* how you feel.

[bertha katzenengel]

8. well...

Later in the day I realized I hadn't taken one of my meds for four days. I got it just a few weeks ago, specifically for anxiety. I just refilled some others and forgot that one.

Duh.

I've got everything pretty well under control. Things like this just pop up. I liken my psychological structure to a giant forest fire that's been contained. The fire's about 90% out, and most of the firefighters are stomping through the charred ruins, stamping out pockets of embers. Every now and then, those pockets flare up into a fire again.

I just had a little flare-up this morning. :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

7. My sympathies, bertha

I have an anxiety disorder, which is pretty well controlled on medication, but occasionally, I will still have an attack. They suck, don't they?

:hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

10. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYES.

Yes, they do. :hug:

[flamingyouth]

11. I have terrible anxiety too.

I have a hard time turning my mind off when the attacks get bad too. I also have PTSD. This past year I've tried biofeedback and meditation classes which have helped somewhat. But I know how this feels and it sucks. :(

[bertha katzenengel]

12. I wonder if yoga will help. I've taken a few classes.

Hmmm. :hug:

[flamingyouth]

13. I think it helps me.

I've taken yoga for years. :hug: