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Police Blotter By Cst. Douglas Enns Nov 01 2006
During the week, which was Oct. 22 to the 29, police responded to 146 complaints and requests for assistance. There were 24 bats in our belfry this week. So far, the strangest Halloween-related complaint this week was the 911 call reporting "two nuns slugging it out in the parking lot" of a local nightclub. Best costume in the drunk tank was the one winged angel.
On a particularly chilly night, police were making a routine patrol of the parking lot around a local nightclub. They noticed that a layer of frost was covering the windows of vehicles parked in the lot and that puddles had begun to form a thin icy shell. These observations were a stark contrast to the appearance of two people, stark naked, doing that thing birds do, bees do, whilst lying atop a bare cement retaining wall. Apparently the police were the only ones who had noticed that the police had arrived. After a moment, the male had, too, noticed that police had arrived and self-consciously sidestepped over to his half of the clothes piled on the ground a few feet away. He suffered a temporary lapse of chivalry and neglected to extend his newfound knowledge of the arrival of spectators to his girlfriend who remained in the same position now as when he’d left. The sound of police car door opening did what her boyfriend had overlooked to do)and announced the arrival of on-lookers to what both (inconceivably) considered to be a private affair. Both quickly dressed and were directed to the front desk where, they would find, for a nominal charge they could “get a room.” Police figured that charging either one with an offence wasn’t likely to make either one any smarter and hoped that the chaffing, frostbite and the potential for pneumonia might.
Later that same night, police investigated a complaint involving an unknown vehicle which appeared to have backed into a wooden fence on the complainant’s property adjacent to Highway 2A. The only evidence at the scene were tire tracks from a vehicle which had been parked nearby and some empty condom wrappers. The "working theory" is that the gearshift was inadvertently engaged. Coincidence?
more at the below link...
www.ponokanews.com/portals-code/list.cgi?paper=114&cat=23&id=763493&more
I think the man is missing his calling.
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