Confess! (please take a number)

[trof]

Welcome to the DU online confessional.
Bless you.
And what was/were the nature of your sin(s)?

[SOteric]

1. I'm betting the number one item mentioned in a DU confessional

would be "impure thoughts." But I could be wrong. What do other folks think?

[trof]

5. Very close, but it was "thongs".

Yaks was next.

[AlienGirl]

71. YAKS!

Yakkity yaks...

Tucker

[LuLu550]

2. bless me, father, for I have sinned

it's been 30 years since my last confession...got a few minutes??? :evilgrin:

[trof]

3. Ah, LuLu. Long time no see.

;-)

[LuLu550]

8. oh, you missed me! I missed you, too!

I feel so special! I've been home a lot because of the holidays and I hate using dial up. It's so slow compared to our work connection. But as you can see from the rant I posted, I'll be on line for quite a while tonight!

[trof]

For ranting, your penance

is to spend 15 minutes in GD Politics.
Go forth and sin no more.
:-)

[tishaLA]

13. Cruel and unusual punishment!

eom

[trof]

15. Cruel, yes...but very usual.

;-)

[nini]

14. LOL... that's about the same for me

I'm scared to go back.

LOL

[LuLu550]

17. I think when it's been that long

they fall asleep and when they wake up they still give you only five "Our Fathers" and ten "Hail Marys"...

[nini]

21. LOL.. yep Father Brennan was always giving 5 of each.

no matter what you confessed.. you could bet money on it!

[LuLu550]

23. I think our priest doubled the Hail Marys

because they were shorter....ah, memories of a repressed Catholic childhood!

[trof]

25. NO TALKING amongst the penitents, PLEASE!

Just silently wait your turn in line.
Thank you.

[nini]

27. but, but... I talk when I'm nervous

:cry:

[LuLu550]

45. hey, nini

didn't Father warn you about wearing paten leather shoes????

[david_vincent]

4. Who are we supposed to confess to? Pope John Paul George Ringo?

n/t

[trof]

7. trof has allowed me to use his space here.

I am, of course, Father Guido Sarducci.
Please continue.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. Well

I flirted with a married old fart on DU..and I'm not sorry! :D

[trof]

9. I'm sorry, but you are mistaken my child.

What you describe is NOT a sin, but a sacrement.
Here's a cookie.
;-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

16. MMMMMM cookies ;-)

[LincolnMcGrath]

11. I farted on a married old flirt on DU..No apologies!

[trof]

18. If there is no contrition

there is no absolution.
next?

[LincolnMcGrath]

22. So I can`t be an Alter Boy then?

[trof]

24. You might become an altar boy,

but an 'alter' boy is another thing entirely.
Please stop by the rectory after vespers.
;-)

[LincolnMcGrath]

26. @#$%^&*()

Whoops lol

[Robb]

10. I've been very hard on Joe Lieberman lately...

...putting him in goofy polls, making fun of him.

Am I wrong, father? Or is it OK since he's not Catholic? :evilgrin:

[trof]

12. Discussing your...um...male member

here is NOT...oh...I see.
nevermind
I think if you bake him some cookies, that would make things right.

[jonnyblitz]

19. yay!! we atheists don't have to worry about this crap!!

:smoke: :evilgrin: :hi:

[trof]

20. Au contraire, my son.

This is the Father Guido Sarducci Omni-Non-Demoninational, Non-Directional, Non-Discriminating, One-Size-Fits-All Confessional.

All who truly repent are welcome.
:-)

[JitterbugPerfume]

28. I confess

I did a very bad thing involving vodka and grape jelly

forgive me father

[trof]

52. We'll consider that a variant of communion wine.

No harm, no foul.
;-)

[FarLeftRage]

29. Gee... it's kinda dark in here

forgive for lusting after the Ladies...

What do I get?

[trof]

30. What do you get when you fall in love?

You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
That, in itself, is penance enough.
O8)

[FarLeftRage]

31. Hey, I'll do that

penance any day of the week.

[Skittles]

32. I lost my temper with a coworker today

she's fairly new and asked me to proofread something she was going to email to a customer. It was so atrocious I flipped and yelled THIS ISN'T GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT, THIS ISN'T EVEN A SENTENCE; WHY ARE YOU CAPITALIZING WORDS FOLLOWING COMMAS AND WHY DO YOU USE VERBS WITH NO PRECEDING NOUNS, blah blah. I lost it, I tell you, I am so fed up with her.

[LuLu550]

33. gee, skittles

that sounds pretty coherent to me...I don't believe you sinned at all...except "blah, blah" is separated by commas.

[Skittles]

35. YEAH BUT

I'M NOT EMAILING THIS TO A FREAKING CUSTOMER. :7

[Capn Sunshine]

39. I assumed that was going to end "and I KICKED HER ASS!!!!"

:D

[trof]

53. Father Guido shares your obsession.

You should have rapped her hand with a ruler.

[LynneSin]

34. I've had sinful thoughts about Zombywoof's yak

:cry:

[Skittles]

36. TROF CAN'T HELP YOU, LYNNESIN

YOU ARE A FREAKING TART. :7

[trof]

54. yak-yak-yak

Is that the best you can come up with?

[populistmom]

37. Lust

Is that still a sin? (I guess it depends who I'm lusting after, huh?)

[Capn Sunshine]

40. I think that is certainly questionable as far as sins go

I personally don't believe the creator goddess would endow us with such feelings if they were bad

hey, what are you wearing?

[populistmom]

41. That's how I kind of see it too

(Well, within reason of course.) My jammies- black shorts and a lavender tank top.

[Capn Sunshine]

38. I make money for republicans

Many of my high net worth client base is republican. Thank god the richest of them all is not.

I'm gonna fry, I know.

[LuLu550]

42. get thee to the seventh ring of Hell!

do not pass go, do not collect $200. :evilgrin:

[trof]

55. God condones embezzlement in such cases.

Send $$$ to the Democrats.
Bless you.

[Bertha Venation]

43. bless me father for I have sinned

i can't talk about it, but trust me
:cry:

[LuLu550]

44. there, there, child

anything you say in this thread is between you and God...please, unburden yourself, my child. O8)

[trof]

56. What are YOU? Co-Confessor?

jeez

[Bertha Venation]

58. God already knows....

that's one of the things I've never understood about confession.

[everythingsxen]

46. *takes his number - Looks - It's 666*

Uh my sins...

A lot of them.

Is it a sin to want to go and burn in the fires of Hell forever and ever? It seems like the hellspawned really know how to party. :evilgrin:

[everythingsxen]

47. My latest sin...

killing this thread.

[LuLu550]

48. thou shalt not kill

O8)

[trof]

57. but...IT'S ALIVE!

[AlienGirl]

70. Sorry, there is no Hell

You know that now, thankyoudrivethrough!

Tucker

[arwalden]

49. RATS! My number is 999...

... wake me when it's my turn.

[trof]

59. You're next.

Better make yourself comfy.
I have a feeling this could take a while.

[Booberdawg]

50. Yikes! My number is 666!

[VelmaD]

51. If I confess I guarantee...

that Skinner will lock this thread. ;-) I was a very bad girl this year.

I suppose I could confess that I do my very best to push the boundaries of the "no sex threads" rule - but I'm not one bit sorry.

[trof]

60. "When she was good...

she was very, very good, but when she was bad she was a lot more fun."
;-)

[trof]

61. kick, beacuse I KNOW you're gonna need this in the a.m.

:evilgrin:

[aQuArius]

62. LOL! yes I will.. I will want to erase most of my posts too...

I am having a hard time remembering what I posted tonight. But, thanks to the new "YOUR POSTS" link, I can refresh my memory tomorrow.

[trof]

66. aQuaRius, Father Guido is having a hard time with

the spelling of your name.
It's all the CAPITALS popping up in uneXpecTed places.
ThAT, iN aNd of itself is grOUnds for SOMETHING or other.

Give me two Hail Marys, three Our Fathers, and 20 push ups.
hIt iT!
Thank you.

[aQuArius]

69. The capitals are there for a reason, lol

but, you may never understand. I will do as you say, thank you father. P.S. Its "aQuArius"

[Hillsey]

63. I have impure thoughts about the women of DU

:evilgrin:

[angee_is_mad]

64. I've been a BAD,BAD,BAD girl

and if I told you I would have to kill you!!!

[Lady Freedom]

65. Hey confessional dude!

I sin a lot, mainly with men. I am drunk and I don't care. And as I said at the start, I like men,and know a few, not many< (fingers crossed about #) in the biblical since, A LOT!!!

[trof]

67. Possibly you should consult Father Guido

<privately>
???
Private consultations are available for a small stipend.
O8)

[FloridaJudy]

68. I called in sick

with the flu this morning, but I was already 90% over it. Spent the day watching *Pirates of the Carribean* and reading Michael Connelly novels.

[TrogL]

72. throwing gasoline on flame wars

random non-sequiters
beating dead horses