Gay Gene Isolated, Ostracized

[Cannikin]

VOLUME 31 ISSUE 13 — 8 APRIL 1997
Gay Gene Isolated, Ostracized
BALTIMORE—On Friday, scientists at Johns Hopkins University isolated the gene which causes homosexuality in human males, promptly separating it from normal, heterosexual genes. "I had suspected that gene was queer for a long time now. There was just something not quite right about it," team leader Dr. Norbert Reynolds said. "It's a good thing we isolated it—I wouldn't want that faggot-ass gene messing with the straight ones." Among the factors Reynolds cited as evidence of the gene's gayness were its pinkish hue, meticulously frilly perimeter, and faint but distinct perfume-like odor.



Just a blast from the past that still rings true today....


www.theonion.com

[xchrom]

1. i love the onion

and damn, don't i got a bunch of those gay genes.
i try snubbing and name calling -- but they seem to have set up house and decorated it.

[name not needed]

2. Stock Market 'Best Since 1928,' Say Investors

NEW YORK—Wall Street insiders are hailing the current bull market as the best since 1928, The Wall Street Journal reported Tuesday. "The Dow is on an unstoppable rocket-ship ride into the outer stratosphere of fiscal health and prosperity," H&R Block broker Phillip Guyer said. "I see no reason why this upward trend shouldn't continue forever. To celebrate, I think I'll buy myself one of those newfangled horseless automobiles—on credit!"

[jpgray]

4. Also brilliant. :-) (nt)

[Kat45]

3. From the subject, I thought it was about a gay guy named Gene

who nobody would hang out with! My bad. LOL