Have you ever corrected a child's behavior when the kid wasn't yours?

[hedgehog]

Picture this: I'm a white woman of a certain age. I saw two black kids, maybe about 10 years old, skating around at the mall, having a great time. I went up to them, and in a soft voice warned them that they would get in trouble if the security people saw them skating around. All they needed was a reminder that their behavior was going to get them in trouble. I know I've done things like this before with both white and black kids. The other thing I do is spot little kids who are wandering off. I approach and at about 8 feet ask if they know where their mother is. It usually stops the kid in his or her tracks for a few minutes until Mom comes along frantically looking for them. Otherwise I get someone to find a security person to take over.

[Ian David]

1. I once saw a child chasing and scaring pigeons

I ran up to the child, waving my arms and screaming, just like the kid did to the birds.

Anyway, after my wife posted bail...


I'm kidding.

I ran like hell after I did that.

[militaryspouse]

2. ..

i've actually had to correct a child when the parent was present, all bc the parent WOULDN'T..ie hitting other children, name calling etc.

I think as long as you don't touch the child, and you talk to them respectfully, then there shouldn't be a prob. I'd want someone to intercede on behalf of my child if they were in danger or misbehaving!

[hippywife]

3. All the time.

And I don't say a word just give them the look. Works every time. }(

[trof]

11. The Look. Know just what you mean.

We use it too.
;-)

[Kali]

4. hell yes, adults too

keep the hell outta my space, quiet down, and yer gonna put somebody's eye out!

[billyskank]

5. Just the other day

Some young kids were playing with a football in the temple room, so I asked them to knock it off.

[skygazer]

6. I sometimes have to at the store where I work

One day I was stocking liquor and had a pallet of cases on the floor near the back door. Two clueless women were gabbing by the meat counter while their three kids - maybe 6, 8 and 11 - were wreaking havoc. They were going up and down the meat counter poking their fingers into all the wrapped packages of meat. They were galloping up and down the aisle (this was during the Thanksgiving season - the store was packed). They were running along the wine aisle tapping every bottle (I was afraid they'd knock them off the shelves).

In short, they were out of control and these two women never even glanced at them. Finally, the oldest boy started climbing on the pallet of wine cases! I told him he needed to get off them and stay off them, then turned to the women and said pointedly, "Is this yours?"

I got a shocked look and a sort of stuttered assent, at which I said, "Well, I suggest you keep better track of it."

[mopinko]

7. i correct people's dogs

i just have some of that natural dog dominance stuff, and just do things like knee them if they jump on me, or tell them to shut up if they are barking.
i've yelled at other peoples kids, but more likely, i will yell at them, if they need it. i almost got into a fist fight with a lady that was carrying a belt around and threatening her toddler. she thought the kid should sit in a chair, instead of quietly exploring her surroundings. at a medical clinic, no less.

[idgiehkt]

18. I do too

I've worked in a few kennels, and my "kennel voice" scares the crap out of dogs, lol. Well, they know I mean business, anyway. Once my uncle's dog growled at a dog much bigger than it and that dog broke out of it's fence as was chasing uncle's dog down the street, while my uncle just stood there, and I came out of the house and ran after them and started yelling at them and they both froze, dead in the their tracks, one behind and one in front...it was almost funny how quickly they stopped, it was like they were afraid to move. I can laugh about it now but if I'd not been there it would have been carnage because my uncle wasn't making any attempt to intervene; his dog was tiny and the other dog was a very large unneutered male boxer so it would have been a bloody mess.

[purr]

8. My neighbor likes to tell other kids in the neighborhood off..

"get the f*** out of my yard!" "WTF is wrong with you?!?" etc.. then she smacks her kids head and calls him a lil bast*rd all the time. I just had it out with her the other day telling her that she does NOT talk to my kids like that and 2ndly they're allowed to walk through the yard because its not yours.

Sigh..

If I see her kid doing something wrong when Im in passing I'll ask him are you allowed to do that? and he usually puts it down. But more so than before he just looks at you while whacking away at a tree with a hatchet (hes mentally disabled and is 4). So now my kids dont go anywhere near him because of him always running around with the hatchet.

[Connonym]

30. Guilty as charged

I feel bad doing it esp when the parent is nearby but sometimes things happen that they don't notice -- recently rocks being thrown at ducks in the pond and oftentimes in the grocery store I don't necessarily say something but when parents aren't looking and the kid stands up in the cart I hover a bit and if it looks like they're aiming to topple out I'll say something to the parent. I try to be respectful about it and it's usually only when the child is in danger or behaving dangerously toward another child or an animal.

When my ex-neighbor's kids decided it would be fun to harass my dog (throwing toys at her, pouring buckets of water on her head over the top of the fence,etc) I really lost it and told them that only evil people are cruel to animals. That immediately got the mom outside yelling at me that I had no right to talk to her children that way.

Ultimately, I believe we're all in this world together and I wouldn't get involved if it was something that didn't harm anyone (burping or not saying thank you or whatnot) but I believe we all need to look out for one another and especially children to make sure we can prevent harm if possible.

[purr]

37. Well thats a different story...

Mine was walking to my mothers house and had to pass through her yard. Not saying my child is a perfect angel :) but he wasnt doing anything other than that. I was watching him the whole time.

But if my child was doing that to your dog.. or any animal for that matter he would be yelled at by both sides and I would've agreed with you. Certain things yes, he does need to be scolded on, but just casually walking through a yard? No way.

I've yelled at the neighbor kids behind me to get out of my yard, but that was when I was getting my house added on and construction materials all over the place. I didnt want to be at fault if they got hurt. After everything was gone I didnt mind at all. But when a 40 yr old meth head starts flipping out on my son for absolutely no reason I have a right to flip out on her :p

[Rosemary2205]

38. Point of order.

I don't have kids and am surrounded by them. They used to always cut through my yard, not playing, just walking through like your kids do to your neighbor. Never bothered me and I never said anything except an occational "be careful on the driveway, I'd hate for you to get hurt".

One of the kids twisted an ankle in my front yard on a pine cone. The parents, who I previously thought were nice neighbors filed a lawsuit against me for over $80,000. My homeowner's insurance told me I could not win because I had previously allowed kids to cut through my yard - plus I did not have any no trespassing signs. They settled for $23,000. My homeowner's was switched to high risk and my premiums tripled. This all while I was out of work and trying to recover from a nearly fatal car accident. BTW - 5 days after the incident the girl was playing soccer.

You better bet your butt no kid in the neighborhood is allowed on my property anymore and quite frankly I hate it. I hate that if your kids were cutting through my yard and ignoring the no trespassing signs then I'd have no choice but to get all legal on you. I HATE it.

In fact the other neighbors were also so overwhelmed by that event they too are strict about no cut throughs. We also decided to set up Halloween out on the dead end circle so the kids don't even have to enter any our properties.



I'm telling you this because your neighbor could just be bitchy or she could be concerned about being held liable. IMHO if the woman doesn't want your kids in her yard then it's just not that much to teach your kids to respect her property rights and go around.

I'm just sayin...........

[purr]

40. Different situation here.

Thats why I didnt want the neighbors kids in the back to go through my yard during construction. But.. this is my great aunts yard and her sons gf that lives in the basement is completely off her rocker (drunk and on multiple illegal drugs). After all of this, my son now walks down the other yard so he doesnt have to cross her. But her kid is always riding his power wheels all through my parents yard all day since their yard is small.

But really, no one really cares if someone walks through their yard here, basically all family around here and a few that arent. I'm not sue happy, so if my son sprained his ankle in her yard, then oh well, he'll get better. If I lived in a neighborhood with sue crazy people I would be apprehensive as well, but not when it comes to your family. No one has any signs in their yard and I dont blame you for having that.

Its just a different situation here. I know kids get hurt, and so do most of the other people around here, this woman was being evil to my son (shes nice as pie to my daughter and never said one bad thing to her. She has a vendetta against my son because he wont let her son beat on him and just take it, he'll get him to stop. Her kid will go up to mine and push him until he gets to his breaking point then start to fight back to defend himself !dont you see hes messed up? hes not right in the head! you shouldnt f***ing fight back you should just let him beat you up since hes f****ed up". So I got on her about that one time, then shes been nasty to him since.

Its not a matter of my child not respecting someones property, its the fact that this woman doesnt have a say in it because its not her house, and 2nd if he was not welcome by the owner of the property then he wouldnt go that way. My child is respectful and is incredibly polite so I know he wouldnt do that to defy someone.

[Connonym]

41. Oh yeah, what your kid did was nothing

and if it really bothered her there were other ways of politely asking that your child not go through her yard. And she hit your kid? I would go ballistic! I would never dream of hitting a kid. In my situation I admit that I lost my cool but the worst word I used was "shitty" (i.e., "that's a shitty thing to do to an animal.") and would have eventually apologized had the mother not literally started screaming at me to stfu and not talk to her children that way. I felt that she let these 3 boys run wild outside without supervision for hours at a time and if she wasn't going to be making sure they behaved I was sure as hell going to make sure they left my dog alone. I had already put up a 6 foot privacy fence to stop them from throwing things at my dog. Wow, you know this was like 2 summers ago and when I think about it I still get really furious about the whole situation. Thank GOD I don't live there any more.

[nini]

58. call the cops of family services on her - the hatchet thing is too much

That's a nightmare waiting to happen :scared:

[flvegan]

9. Twice.

Once, on my GF Sugar in the pine flatwoods, this young boy was with his mom and dad. They had gotten off their bikes, and the kid was chasing baby wild turkeys. It was only when the kid actually picked one of them up and started to walk away that I intervened, yelling from where I was that the animal wasn't a toy and that he should be reunited with his family.

The second time was recent, as I watched 4 young kids riding over everyone's lawn here in the neighborhood taking their newspapers and new phone books off their porches/doorsteps and throwing them in a big pile in the street. From my porch, I told the oldest that now I expected them to go put all that stuff back where it belonged WITHOUT riding through people's flowerbeds and hedges.

[SeattleGirl]

10. Yes, I have. One time was when I caught MrSG's teenaged cousin

and a friend of her's going thru my purse. I had left it on a chair in an unoccupied room (this was at MrSG's Aunt and Uncle's house). I was outside, but could see them through the window, going through my purse. The girls were gone from the room by the time I got back inside, and thankfully they didn't take anything, but it really pissed me off. I confronted both girls, and they DENIED IT. I told them I knew they were lying, because I had seen them with my purse. They still denied it.

So, I went and found Auntie, and pulled her aside and told her what happened. She was horrified, of course, and went to talk to the girls. Then she came and got me, and the girls admitted they had been in my purse, and apologized. This girl is a handfull, I'll tell you, and always has been. I do NOT envy her parents (and they are good people, and not the kind that blatantly ignore their kid's bad behavior).

[LibraLiz1973]

12. Daily.

I'm a teacher!

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. I caught a 4-year old not reducing his fractions one day. I gave one hell of a whoopass, I tell you!

Sonofabitch won't make that mistake again.

I have no idea where the parents were. Probably better off without them, anyway.

[trof]

15. Yep, spare the rod and spoil the child.

That's what I always say.

OK, I don't actually SAY it a lot.
But I'm thinkin' it most of the time.

[MonkeyFunk]

43. You left out the important details...

was he black or white?

[blondeatlast]

49. ...

:thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

55. Well, white, of course.

I would expect that kind of behavior from a black kid with a welfare queen crack addict mom and unknown father, and so I wouldn't have done anything.

[Lyric]

14. Yep, sure have.

When Brendan's friends come in our yard to play, they know that they're following *my* rules, and if those rules get broken, I have no problem setting them straight. Similarly, when Brendan is off playing at a friend's house in our neighborhood, the other parents know that they have my permission to set *him* straight if he misbehaves. Neighborhood Moms tend to cooperate like that. ;)

I've done so with strange kids too from time to time if I thought the kid was doing something potentially harmful. It doesn't happen often, thankfully.

[MissMillie]

16. only when the behavior ws directed at me

that's it.

[huskerlaw]

17. I used to all the time

I was a teacher at a daycare and then a nanny. ;)

Now I will if the child is doing something that could harm someone or something. Otherwise, I usually let it go.

[tigereye]

19. well, at work I get paid to do that....

and sometimes in my non-work life in a gentle "are you sure you are allowed to do that?/ did your mom say you could" kind of way....

I usually try to catch the other parent's eye so I don't step on their toes....


I think that fits with the "it takes a village" kind of thinking. All adults have some responsiblity to safeguard young people and set a good example, I think....

[Inchworm]

20. Often

Isn't that sort of our job as human adults?

:hi:

[LeftyMom]

21. All the time.

I used to work in a toy store, and every f'n kid in a ten mile radius had those damn heelys and thought they could skate in a crowded store. Erm, no. :eyes: Or ride bikes in the store, or pogostick in the store, or climb on displays or... And of course, if you say anything the parents who didn't appear to give a shit thirty seconds before feel the need to lecture you about how they can mind their own kids. The kids usually prove the point by starting in again while the parent is still bitching about other people correcting the kids.

Luckily, I got out of there before some kid broke their neck and their inattentive parents sued every competent adult in a 100 yard radius.

[Robeson]

22. No, but I've often wanted to correct parents' behavior regarding...

...kids who weren't mine.

[NewWaveChick1981]

23. Yes.

I don't have kids of my own, but I've been around them a lot AND I have common sense. There were two very small children (under the age of 5) tear-assing through yards in our neighborhood on one of those battery-operated children's toy cars. They were visiting our neighbors two houses up (as I later found out), and nobody knew the kids had comandeered the car. These kids were tearing up lawns, running into fences, and doing damage everywhere they went. Not only that---the road they were using is a busy road with lots of curves, and it would have been very easy for a driver not to see them until it was too late. I was out on my fitness walk when I saw them. I saw how young they were, and I asked where their parents were. The kids stopped and told me "Ida Know". :P Well, I told them to get out of the car and point to the house they came from. (I knew they didn't live here.) I walked them back to the house and knocked on the door, and when the neighbor answered, I ratted on the kids. :P Yeah, I'm a mean ol' lady... :rofl: The kids' parents didn't even notice they were gone. They got in BIG trouble for tearing up yards. The parents paid for the damage and I haven't seen those kids here since. :rofl: I'm glad they didn't get hurt. The way people drive around here, they could easily have been killed.

[hedgehog]

46. Kids that age are all about process, not results.

They were so busy driving along, they probably didn't see the damage and were probably mortified when it was pointed out to them. It's like when a pre-schooler gets hold of a pair of scissors. They're so busy cutting, they don't notice if they have yesterday's newspaper, the wedding photos or the new curtains in their hand!



I follow the same rule with older children/teenagers: the more in the group, the less likely any one of them is to notice what they are actually doing. Thus a group of boys will start throwing things, then progress to target practice, then progress to throwing rocks though windows without noticing what they are doing.

[TK421]

24. no.....none of my business. n/t

[GoneOffShore]

25. I do it all the time, but it's part of my business

We run auditions for kids and often have a waiting room full.

Recently there were these eight year old twin boys who were standing on the high stools that we have in our waiting room and jumping off of them. I came out of the audition room, took one look as one took a leap and the other was about to. Dad was doing nothing.
"Get off of that stool, sit down and don't do that again. This is an office, not a playground." These two looked at me like I was an ogre and dad continued to chat on his cell phone.
I then went back to the studio.
A couple of minutes later, Mrs GoS came in and said that the kids and their dad were gone - She had told him that they were too rammy to audition.
When I went back to the waiting room to get more kids I got a round of applause.

[Gormy Cuss]

26. Yes.

If the kid's doing something destructive or potentially harmful to a person or animal, I'd rather risk the wrath of the parents (or the smart mouth of the kid) than let it go unchallenged. Most kids react positively, but then I have the "teacher voice" down pat, I've been told.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

27. I do - just can't help it

I try to be nice about it, but sometimes the parent(s) don't seem to be around or are not paying attention when their child does something that could be harmful to himself or others, so I speak out.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

28. In my family, that's how we do things...

And with my friends' kids, if they don't speak up when their kid is being a monster, I will say something. My friends know this. They get me. And usually when I say something, it's been pretty bad for a while.
Duckie

[triguy46]

29. not me, but wife does all the time, she can't help it, she's a schoolteacher.

Her "teacher voice" can cause even adults to freeze and halt whatever they are up to. It can be accompanied by the "teacher stare." Both are extremely powerful.

[MiserableFailure]

31. Why is their race relevant?

Wow

[Sock Puppet]

53. I was wondering the same thing.

:wtf:

[GirlinContempt]

54. Me too

[aePrime]

32. Only once, that I remember

The neighborhood kids wait for the school bus about the time I go to work.

A couple of months ago, the kids invented a new game to play while waiting for the school bus. If I had to give it a title, it would be, "Run out in front of passing cars to see if you can get them to hit their brakes". Seriously, the kids would wait until you were about 100 feet away (at 25 mph), and then run out into the street, and then run back to the bus stop. Sadly, I let them do this to me twice before I finally stopped one morning. It had been frosting at night, and the mornings would often leave the road slick with black ice. Once slick morning, a little girl pulled the stunt on me, so I stopped my car, rolled down my window, and spoke to her. I tried not to yell, but to give her good reason as to why her actions were dangerous. I said, "The roads are slick, and people may not be able to stop in time. You should just stay on the sidewalk." She looked terrified, and just silently gave me a single nod, and I drove off. I'm not sure she really wanted to play the game -- I have a feeling that peer-pressure was involved.

I should have told them earlier (it did take me a while to figure out what this "game" was), and perhaps I shouldn't have given my warning on condition of it being slick, but I haven't seen them do it since. If I knew who their parents were, I would have told them.

[treestar]

33. No. I have no kids, but think they are all cute

And give them a wide latitude.

[XemaSab]

34. I yelled at a little girl for running in front of my car

She was probably about 7, and all her friends were with her. I hope she was mortified enough to never do that again.

[SeattleGirl]

36. You just reminded me of how many times I had to get after two

kids in the neighborhood last summer. Street to my house is very narrow, and only two blocks long before I have to turn the corner. Everyone (well, except for a former neighbor) drives slowly, because there are a lot of kids around here.

Last summer, these two kids would be out playing in the street (again, no big deal around here), so I would stop the car so they could get out of the road. I'd start to drive by, and the little ankle biters would run back out in the road! :grr:

I'd stop the car again, they'd back away, I'd start moving forward again, AND THEY'D DO IT AGAIN! Finally, one day I'd had it. I wasn't pissed because they were delaying me in getting home, but because I was scared that they'd misjudge things and I'd hit them. So I got out of the car, and in my best quiet-voiced "mommy voice" (the kind my mom used on me to scare the piss out of me), I told them that they should never do that again, because I did not want to hurt them with my car.

They stopped after that.

I think a lot of the problem was their aunt, who watched (ha-ha) them during the day when the parents were at work. She is a very unpleasant woman, though the parents are pretty cool.

The last thing I would ever want to do is hit someone, especially a kid!

[OzarkDem]

35. Only if they're in danger of getting lost or hurt

I would have done the same in those situations.

I'm lucky in that I like other people's kids as well as my own. I've never felt a need to pass judgement or be harsh with other people's children, but instead treat them as I would my own.

[MountainLaurel]

39. I work in a public library

I spend most of my hours before 5 p.m. correcting children's behavior: We get a lot of kids without parents in our place, especially now (we're right next to the public pool -- I'd like to smack whoever planned that out). Hell, even when the parents are there half of them aren't watching their kids. We get a lot of three-year-olds trying to pull every children's video off the shelf while Mom is completely zoned out looking at adult DVDs.

[Omphaloskepsis]

42. I only do with Jewish kids.

I let the Black kids throw eggs at my cat. It is odd that you brought race into the thread.

[hedgehog]

47. I guess that I have two questions here; keeping an eye on other people's kids

and also not wanting to be the white person ordering a black person around (to put it in the most blunt fashion). I'm also aware that sometimes behavior by white kids that is ignored or merely reprimanded will land black kids in court. My concern in this particular incident was specifically to keep those two kids from being confronted by a security guard.

[Omphaloskepsis]

50. We live in different parts of the country.

I wouldn't even consider that.

[MonkeyFunk]

44. well....

as long as you do it to white kids, too, I guess it's OK.

:wtf:

[LaurenG]

45. In the "olden" days... when I was a kid

If we were doing something wrong adults would always have something to say about it whether they knew us or not. In fact they'd ask us where we lived if they didn't already know and they would "rat" us out. Same thing in school. If you got in trouble at school, not only did we get in trouble there but our parents also received a call and we got in trouble at home afterward too.

I did get into "trouble" once for telling a next door neighbors kid to stop throwing rocks in the street from the neighbor who lived on the other side of us. They had a xeroscaped yard and these kids were throwing the "landscape" into the street. I was friendly with their mother who had asked that I keep an eye on her girls when she was at work, (she had a sitter who didn't watch them well) and their dad was in the military.

When I told the three kids ages 9, 6 and 5 to stop, the 5 year old flipped me off. I told her she wasn't allowed to do that and said I'd be talking to the babysitter and her mom. She ran home and I followed her and as we came into the house her dad and the babysitter were in the middle of doing "it" in the kitchen...

I really wished I hadn't seen that and I turned around and walked out. It was a messy divorce and no I didn't tell the kids mom, the kid did.

Anyway that was the last time I said I'd watch other people's kids.

[pokercat999]

48. When my son was about 7 a bully in our neighborhood

(Five years older) was making his life miserable, threatening him and sometimes assaulting him. This was going on for sometime. When I found out I took corrective action, I found the kid outside his house, I told him to stop he told me to F**k Off. I grabbed him by the neck and lifted him off the ground. Somehow I came to some of my completely gone senses when I saw him turning very, very blue. I set him down, drug him to his house pounded on the door and demanded to see his father. Said dad was long gone; his single mom was at a loss as what to do with her son who had all kinds of problems. Being a young father at the time I couldn't find a way to offer help so with a warning to the mom I left.

Yes I know I was wrong but the bully never bothered my son again and now 23 years later I have no idea in which prison that little bully is incarcerated in, but I'd bet he's in one somewhere.

By the way, while this was going on an immediate neighbor (a few years older than me) of the kids was egging me on shouting to me "Kill the little F***er, I saw him hit you first". Thinking back I guess it wasn't the best of neighborhoods but it was the most we could afford.

I wish now I would have handled this differently but you should never tell someone that is completely stressed out to "F*** Off", especially when they outweigh you by 60 or 70 pounds and it's (at that time) all muscle.

Today I ignore most inappropriate behavior unless it directly impacts my "space" then I direct my comments to the parent, usually a "Please control your offspring" gets results.

[bleedingheart]

51. Constantly.. and I even correct adults who are behaving like asses.

both before I had children and after...

I used to watch my nephews and neice as kids...I would correct both their behavior and that of their friends.

I correct my own kids, their friends and the neighborhood kids.

I have actually stopped my car to aid a kid who was getting beat up by another.

I also will call out adults...although I will assess whether a call to the police is more appropriate.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

52. I saw a kid getting ready to chuck a rock at a black swan...

at the National Zoo, years ago. I told him he'd better not, and asked him how he'd like it if I threw a rock at him. I know it was extreme, but he could have killed that animal.

[Deep13]

56. Only if it is directed towards me. nt

[nini]

57. Yes.. a kid was running wild in a restaurant and almost triipped a waitress..

..with a full tray of food. She couldn't see the kid because of the tray and almost fell down a couple stairs.

I barked him to sit down because he and others could get hurt. His mom got mad at me - LOL. She probably wanted to sue the place after he got hurt.

Why do parents let their kid leave the table and use the restaurant as a playground???

That wasn't the only time but that was the most annoying.

[LostinVA]

59. I don't get what the kids' race has to do with it -- ?

However, yes, I have.