So what do you do about the stuff you left at your ex's before he dumped you?

[Connonym]

most of it I don't give a shit about, some cosmetics, an inhaler and stuff that I can live without but I had taken over my mom's folding table to use for a thing and it's still there. I don't want to talk to him or see him. I could just get my mom a new folding table...

[SacredCow]

1. Text or email him....

maybe arrange for a mutual acquaintance to deliver them?

[Generic Brad]

2. Box it and unceremoniously dump it outside of his doorstep

Think of it as your way of returning the favor.

[northzax]

3. yeah, but this is about getting your stuff back

not vice versa.

[MrCoffee]

4. i know some guys. say the word, and it's done.

[redqueen]

5. I usually just write it all off.

I've lost SO many cd's that way. x(

But yeah, if you don't wanna talk or see him, maybe txt him that you'd like him to leave it outside on a day you can stop by and get it.

[One_Life_To_Give]

6. Report is Stolen

And give an anymous tip to the police where it might be found. :evilgrin:

[NewJeffCT]

7. Somebody on DU sold me some of his ex-girlfriend's D&D books

for discount prices. She had supposedly made off with some of his stuff and a lot of his money and needed some extra cash to make the month's rent.

For some reason, she had left behind a bunch of her D&D books and I bought several that I had needed.

[calico1]

8. Have a friend pick them up for you,

assuming you are still civil with each other. That's what I did. Got my stuff back and never had to see him.

[Connonym]

9. he dumped me via text message

and we have not been in contact since so I guess you could say it's not very civil

[calico1]

10. I'm sorry. n/t

[Connonym]

14. thanks

I think it was a pretty mean way of going about it. It came out of the blue in a text message at 2 am and so was a bit of a shock. I think it's for the best though because I really don't want to be involved in someone who is so confused about their feelings that they leave a voice mail the night before saying they love you and the next day this.

[calico1]

16. My experience was similar.

I got dumped over the phone and he never even gave me a reason. I was shattered.

But looking back it was the best thing. He was and still is a very mixed up guy who keeps a lot of stuff inside and has other "issues." He ended up marrying a woman who was almost exactly like his first wife that he complained to me so much about who verbally abused him and basically treated him like shit. I guess he missed that. I ended up with a really great guy. You will too and you will look back at this guy one day and wonder what you were thinking.... even if you don't think that now. .:hi:

[mzteris]

25. 2 am?

Either he "did something" or thinks YOU did.

Either way, it sounds like you're better off without him.

Unless it's absolutely something you can't live without, let it go.

:hug:

[flvegan]

11. Tell him you want your shit back via text.

Acquire a vehicle, a couple friends and head over. Don't get out of the car/truck. Let the friends do the work for you.

[MrCoffee]

12. that's quality advice.

:thumbsup:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

13. Ooo...Great idea! Try to find friends to help who are

male and muscular.

[Connonym]

15. lol, my main fear with that is

A) I wouldn't put it past him to put my vibrator on top of everything else and that would embarrass the hell out of me.
B) He has guns

[_testify_]

17. If you're seriously worried he would react violently

I'd just buy another folding table.

[Connonym]

20. Under normal circumstance

I'm not really worried about violence but if he's been drinking and a couple guys he doesn't know show up at his doorstep, well then I'd be worried I guess. I just IM'd a mutual friend and he's going to go get it for me so that should be fine. I feel like a pain asking but it's one of those big banquet-type folding tables and they're not uber expensive but money's a little too tight for me to afford to replace that for my mom right now.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

21. Just let him know in the text that a couple of your friends

will be picking your stuff up.

I would think you'd be safer with a couple of guys than going on your own.

[_testify_]

22. Well I hope things go smoothly for you

so you can move on to bigger and better things! :hug:

[LeftyMom]

19. "B) He has guns"

Okay, assuming nothing at his house belonged to a dead relative or something, at this point I'd say forget it and buy Mom a new table rather than deal with it.

It's just stuff. It's not worth the drama. That's my advice.

[PittPoliSci]

18. what is up with that?

i've heard of that happening to other people i know too.

some people are just spineless. you're probably better off without him.

[ThomCat]

27. Wow. That's cold.

x(

So we get together a group of people to reclaim your stuff. And if he place isn't looking so nice when we're done, :shrug:

[caty]

23. As my son sometimes says,

"Sometimes you just have to say f*ck it and do it". Call him up and tell him what time you will come over for your things. Bring a friend or two. Go there and pack up your belongings and leave. Ignore him as much as possible while you are there. There are times in life when we have to go someplace we don't want to go and do what needs to be done. He may not be adult enough to break up with you like a man, but you can show him how an adult should act after the break up.

[Karenina]

24. Get your mom a new folding table.

[1000evorlrak]

26. Man (or woman) up and go get it.

Look, it's over, he dumped you. You still have the right to your stuff. Call him up and calmly say you want your things back and would rather he be at home when you take it. When you get there, don't get excited, just get your stuff and leave. Take a friend when you go. Just remember to keep your emotions in check.

I had to do this before.