What has TV taught you?

[Lord Wortherington]

I learned that I could do an emergency tracheotomy(if I ever have to) using a pen and a pocket knife. I learned this from watching M*A*S*H.

[evlbstrd]

1. I have learned

that BFF means Best Friend Forever.

[Whoa_Nelly]

2. Have learned that my daddy ain't Buffalo Bob

Even though I was convinced he was sneaking out on Saturday mornings to just go do the Howdy Doody Show



Turns out he was more likely going out to play poker or to "mess around".

[BlueJazz]

3. That Caramel has 3 syllables

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. That sexual intercourse is the tool of the devil. n/t

[Anarcho-Socialist]

5. It taught me that multi-tasking can be fun

He is the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvbL_5rH1QQ

[JVS]

7. I learned that from this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGO2hVA3P58

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

6. I've learned the incredible value of the OFF switch.

Thre's more to life than TV. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

[TK421]

8. That no matter what you think, there is ALWAYS something to watch on T.V

when most people say that there is nothing on...there is always something on. T.V is reliable in that sense

[insanity]

9. hmm

I think the most important lesson TV has taught me is that if I must buy... everything

[fishwax]

10. but does it have to be a Tom Mix pocketknife?

Or will any old pocketknife do? :)

[insanity]

11. Well, if I'm performing an improvised surgery

Then I need the Tom Mix knife, but if I'm trying to survive in the wilderness any old thing will do.

[deucemagnet]

12. TV has taught me that a blow to the head causes amnesia,

and hilarity ensues. A second blow to the head cures amnesia.

[Recovered Repug]

13. Everyone has either an evil twin or a twin cousin.

[Richardo]

14. If I can't solve a problem in 22 minutes, it must be a two-parter

[MonkeyFunk]

15. If there's a simple misunderstanding...

it's MUCH funnier to let it play out than to simply explain it.

[CRF450]

16. Taught me how to have sex.

[BlueIris]

21. Oh. That's sad.

Wait, you're kidding, right? Okay, phew. Because otherwise: sad.

[CRF450]

34. Dont you pay attention to the times now?

In middle school, kids I grew up with started looking at porn magazines and porno tapes, hell most homes had the internet then around 99 (in my middle school days) and it was easy to find some naked girls online... It still is today. My parents didn't teach me shit about the subject.

[Wapsie B]

35. Yeah mine didn't either.

Not a word of sex ed at home.

[YankeyMCC]

17. Each person or each species, no matter how alien, has the right

to live their lives as they wish. As long as they're not trying to take over the galaxy or eat you or something.

- From Star Trek

[quip]

25. (And they all speak English)

[sarge43]

18. Turkeys can't fly

At least the domestic variety can't

[philosophie_en_rose]

19. Any problem worth solving can be solved in 22 or 44 minutes.

[DarkTirade]

20. MASH also taught me that it's possible to make a homemade

dialysis machine using sausage skins, but it isn't recommended.

Also, it taught me that I'm not the only person in the world who uses snarkyness to respond to just about EVERYTHING. :)

[BlueIris]

22. Um, lessee, Sex Is Bad, Birth Control Doesn't Work, No Woman Ever Ends An Unintended Pregnancy,

and Gay People Don't Exist. And the Only Ones Who Do Stop With Hugging Each Other to Express Their Love.

[flvegan]

23. How to get away with mistakenly making two dates for the same night/event.

Oh, and the "Something suddenly came up" excuse.

[JBoy]

24. The best time to leave a bar is right after ordering a drink

and then leave whoever you're with to pay the bill.

Also, when I eat at a restaurant with 3 other people we should all be sitting on one side of the table.

[quip]

26. Don't get stranded on a deserted Island with a guy named "Gilligan"

but if you do, the batteries in your AM radio will mysteriously never go dead.

[madinmaryland]

27. Apply Directly to the Forehead.

Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.
Head-on. Apply Directly to the Forehead.

[HamdenRice]

28. The chronology of World World II

Seriously. I had read about the war, talked to relatives in the war, and had a pretty good grasp of it.

But only after the 100th or so history channel program have I really developed a feel for the total chronology of the U.S. portion, and how events in the European and Pacific theaters related to each other.

It was remarkably short, in a way. That's the insight. My father who was in WWII used to talk about the phoney war period, which I never quite understood. But basically from Pearl Harbor till D-Day (December 1941 to June 1944) was almost two and a half years during which the US was preparing and practicing (eg the invasion of Italy).

Then wooommmp -- from D-Day to the fall of Berlin was less than a year!

[triguy46]

29. If I ever see you with a pen in your hand I'm heading for the hills.

[Va Lefty]

30. That Hillary will be our nominee

Resistance is futile

[Deja Q]

31. Most television made after the 1980s is superficial garbage.

At least by comparison; there was more of substance in the ye olde days... still spotty, but there still was some.

[blockhead]

32. How to get to Sesame Street

[Initech]

33. You can crack a double homicide case in 44 minutes flat.

[mwooldri]

36. That in the early 1930's I could make a TV.

Spinning wheels, flashing lights, have the TV tuned to the Home Service after closedown and listen to the Light Service for the sound and I'd have in perfect Baird-o-vision 30, yes count them - 30 line tv black and white TV.

Then came EMI and made the whole thing electronic.

Mark.

[mwooldri]

37. That Crystal Palace will be undergoing transmitter maintenance.

We had this wonderful program on TV between the 1960's and early 1990's. It was a ghost program, not shown anywhere in the television schedules - used to be on about 10am until the advent of breakfast TV then it got pushed back to 4 or 5am. It was the Programme for the TV Trade, where the boffins who run and operate the UK television network would explain about some recent enhancements that's going on and what transmitters are planned to be taken off air for maintenance. (bear in mind BBC One has about 750 of them, mostly low power)

Since the advent of the Internet, there's been no real need for this program anymore.

[Godhumor]

38. Taught me that if I don't want to spend the entire next day swearing, I shouldn't watch "Deadwood"

Because, holy shit, that cocksucker turned cursing into poetry.

[shugah]

39. robots will subjugate humankind

under any conceivable or inconceivable scenario.

:scared:

[IDemo]

40. That there sure is a lot of dust in the tv room