Anyone want to hear how my date on Friday went?

[LostInAnomie]

On a scale of 1-10 I would give it a 6. More good than bad, but it was still kind of awkward and there wasn't much of a connection. I think she pretty much felt the same way because we were supposed to do something Saturday, and she came up with an excuse as for why she couldn't go.

This was the first time I had actually met her, and I wasn't really that impressed. She was kind of reserved, and didn't have anything interesting to talk about. I felt like I was talking all the time because she wasn't keeping up her end of the conversation. She also didn't seem to have a very good sense of humor, which is a big turn off for me.

I might give her a call next weekend just to see if she wants to give it another shot, but if she comes up with another excuse I'll just say "fuck it", and lose her number.

If anyone has any questions, I'll be happy to answer them.

[_testify_]

1. Ugh I HATE having to carry the whole conversation

I get all self-conscious because I feel like I talk too much as it is...I feel for ya. Maybe she was just nervous? Where did you go?

[IzaSparrow]

3. suggest a completely different venue/situation...

maybe this time don't go to a restraunt (can't remember if you said you were). I've read it's a very high-pressure situation if you're meeting someone the first time and considering your table manners, etc. Did she have any interesting qualities?

[LostInAnomie]

5. Hmmm... interesting qualities...

... I really can't think of any. She seemed like she was a nice person, but she didn't really have anything interesting to say. The only real information that I can remember her revealing about herself was that she does not like spicy food, and doesn't watch too many movies. She hadn't even heard of the movie "Borat" or "The Simpson's Movie".

[_testify_]

6. Whoa.

Had she heard of the The Simpsons at all? :)

[LostInAnomie]

9. I didn't ask, because I was afraid of what the answer might be.

[IzaSparrow]

46. DO NOT CALL HER BACK!!!

or maybe she's only interested in afterhours activities. The gamble is yours, my friend!

[JVS]

2. Did you give her lots of booze?

Chicks dig that

[LostInAnomie]

7. I wish.

She was not interested in getting anything to drink. She told me that she doesn't drink that often. As a joke I said "Yeah, I don't either unless it's a social situation, or on the drive to work.", and I got nothing. No smile, no giggle, just a blank stare.

[JVS]

10. COLD FISH! Toss her back, save the money that would be wasted on the next date

[LostInAnomie]

15. I think I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

She may have just been WAY nervous or something. If we go out again, and she is as dull as she was on the first date there won't be a third... well, unless she does something pretty damn "interesting" towards the end.

[janx]

23. Maybe she was stoned and too paranoid to say anything!

Were her eyes red? Did she use a lot of Clear Eyes?

[LostInAnomie]

26. She'd have been a lot cooler if she was.

The only fun part of the date is when we went bowling. It think that was mostly fun because of the bowling though, not because of any kind of chemistry.

[fudge stripe cookays]

36. I'm with JVS.

Toss her back! You're more fun than that. She doesn't drink, doesn't have a sense of humor, and doesn't even know about Borat?

She needs to loosen the hell up. There are more fish in the sea, as they say. I'd say save your dime next weekend. You can do better.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear LostInAnomie...

I'm sorry it didn't go well, sweetie...

I think your plan to try again next weekend is a good one...

Just in case...

There are more fish in the sea...Keep looking!

A cool guy like yourself will come up with a winner, I just know it...:hug:

[LostInAnomie]

18. Let's hope.

She's already has two strikes against her.

1. The boring date
2. Breaking plans

One more strike and she's going to miss this gravy train.

[janx]

25. It's nice of you to give her another shot.

But if the same thing happens, go find somebody at Home Depot or the grocery store or something. You'd probably have better luck that way.

[LostInAnomie]

28. Sheeeiiitt... If I were smooth enought to pick someone up like that...

... there wouldn't be another shot for her. The dating pool around here is too damn limited.

[matcom]

8. did you get laid?

you know, in lew of meaningful conversation?

:rofl:

[janx]

11. I don't think he did...

There's something about the post and the rating he gave the occasion that suggests that he did not get laid.

[LostInAnomie]

13. That would have been pretty sweet.

I mean, I would have been up for it. After that 5 minutes of hot action though, we would have been in the same predicament.

[janx]

14. Yeah. Just some more blank stares, eh?

:rofl:

Where did this woman come from?

[SPKrazy]

12. A 6?

then go for better than that

no humor is a big turn off

b o r i n g comes to mind with no humor

[LostInAnomie]

16. "Inhibited" is what comes to mind for me.

Unless she is the exception to the rule, I have never met a person without a sense of humor that's decent in bed.

[janx]

17. Maybe she was so utterly smitten that she couldn't even talk!

(I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt too.) :shrug:

[LostInAnomie]

19. Good point.

Also, maybe, I was working with such high concept humor that she couldn't keep up.

[janx]

20. But in that case, it wouldn't be inhibition that kept her

from saying anything. It would be...

[davsand]

21. No sense of humor means lousy sex.

I'm sorry to sound like a complete bitch, but a lack of a sense of humor was a complete deal killer for me when picking a partner. Without fail, the ones who had no sense of humor were equally lacking in bed. If a man could make me laugh most of the evening I knew he was probably gonna be ok in the sack.

About the only thing that would make me run away faster was if they under-tipped a server. If they won't take care of the person that is waiting on them they will be equally selfish in bed. I literally dumped a guy because he told me I over-tipped the server when I took him out to dinner. I have never regretted that decision either.

I am sorry the date did not live up to your expectations, LostInAnomie, but I am quite serious when I say I would not waste a lot of time with that woman if she continues that pattern on a second date.

YMMV



Laura

[LostInAnomie]

22. Definitely.

If they don't have a sense of humor they will be WAY too self conscious to try anything.

Outside of the bedroom, humor is key to being able to enjoy time together.

I don't like to toot my own horn, but the word that first comes to my friends mind when they describe me is "funny", and most people laugh at what I have to say. But, everything I was pitching on Friday was NOT being caught.

[davsand]

34. If she didn't GET your humor you probably have several differences.

That shared reference point that any joke creates means a hell of a lot, IMO. I never was able to deal with men who were unintelligent, and if they couldn't understand my jokes their intellect was immediately suspect.

You say hat a lack of humor might indicate an "adventure" deficit, and I agree completely on that. Frankly we ALL look pretty damn silly when we are bumping uglies, and if you can't laugh at a time like that you are well and truly screwed (so to speak.) I hope to hell the Martians can't see us when we are doing that because we will NEVER be taken seriously as a species.

Her lack of humor might also be indicative of a completely different set of values and attitudes. What you find funny might just be the one thing she is wrapped pretty tight about--and that is no way to be partnered either. For example, you can joke about having a cocktail or two but it might be a HUGE turnoff for her. I can see how THAT could be a big problem for some couples...

Best of luck. I hope it was just jitters and that your next time out she makes you laugh your pants off.



Laura

[Solon]

24. No sense of humor? It could be nervousness...

Though, then again, maybe she really doesn't have a funny bone in her body, you could, of course, volunteer to put one in. Oh shit, I'm evil, I swear my mind just went from the gutter straight down the storm drain with that one. OK, I'll shut up now.

[LostInAnomie]

27. Dude, if it would have turned into that kind of date...

... I wouldn't be on here complaining now.

In fact, I would probably be on here talking about how awesome the date went and how awesome the she is. Either that, or I would be getting laid again.

[Solon]

29. Well, give her one more chance, if nothing is there, nothing is there...

more fish in the sea, so to speak.

[doc03]

30. No n/t

[hippywife]

31. Did you ask her questions?

Try to draw her out? What were her interests?

[LostInAnomie]

32. I tried...

... but eventually you run out of things you can ask if a person doesn't really expand on anything. I eventually got down to asking what sign she is, and if she is left or right handed. I honestly brought up about everything I could think of to try to find something to talk about, or at least a common interest.

I know that she doesn't watch too many movies, especially scary ones.
She likes country music. {barf}
She teaches fourth grade at a Catholic school.
She likes American Idol.
She hates spicy food.
She doesn't like to try new things.
She doesn't drink very much, unless it is a special occasion.
She's a pisces.
She's right handed.
Etc.

I could keep going because I was trying to memorize everything just so I could eventually use it to strike up a conversation, but it went nowhere.

[JVS]

33. Did you try these questions?

What the fuck is wrong with you?
Why don't you talk more?
What is your favorite contraception method?
You like gladiator movies?
Could you look at this sore on my crotch?

[fudge stripe cookays]

37. .

:rofl:

Yeah. ESPECIALLY the sore one. :D

[hippywife]

35. Sorry it didn't go well.

That does sound like you gave it a good shot. She sounds like she's a tad socially awkward. That's a problem she's gonna need to fix.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

38. Do guys really expect sex on the first date?

I wonder what she rated you?

sheesh. I hate dating.

Fuck it.

[JVS]

39. Why the hell else would someone agree to go on a date if it's not about making sweet love?

Unless they just want to mooch a meal.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

42. eat this

:puke:

[JVS]

43. I'm not into the whole puke eating thing.

It's a very disgusting fetish

[LostInAnomie]

44. That's not what you said last night.

:evilgrin:

[LostInAnomie]

40. What!?

I wasn't expecting anything out of this date other than a general getting to know each other over dinner and some kind of activity afterwards. I don't know where you got the impression that I was expecting sex.

My guess, because she broke our plans for the next day, is that she didn't think too much of me either.

The rating of 6 was for the date itself, not for the girl.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

41. Sorry. Not so much you ---as the responses in this thread.

:blush:


as evidenced by JVS above :eyes:

on edit...your repsonse to Solon

[JVS]

45. She broke the plans because she doesn't intend to begin the sweet lovemaking