What are your favorite winter holiday traditions? What do these holidays -

[Flaxbee]

mean to you, if you're not a particularly religious person? Do you celebrate the day(s), or ignore it/them? Do you buy gifts? What do you do? Do you do something for the solstice instead? And if so, what?

I ask partly because I'm curious, but also because we don't really have anything special to do. I despise the commercialization of the season and refuse to run out and buy a bunch of stuff, my husband doesn't like the 'stuff' aspect of it, either. But I'd like to have some sort of celebration; my entire family lives on the west coast, I'm here, we don't travel to see one another and I need to figure out my own holiday. My mother is obsessed with gifts, and the rest of the family watches sports. Neither of those things appeal to me at all. And my husband was an orphan, and really has no holiday traditions he values, either.

I'd love to know what others do, so that I might be able to cobble together something of my own.

[Redstone]

1. We do everything except the religious part, and use the holiday as an excuse

to spend much more money than we should to buy presents for each other and the kids.

Lights, which I like, and the tree, which Mrs R ad the kids go nuts over decorating, and we have fun.

Redstone

[Flaxbee]

4. I think we'd do gifts if we had kids... but it's just the two of us (and

a bunch of cat) and we kind of continuously buy each other what we're interesting in, usually books or, for him, software and me, a sweater or shoes ;-)

In all our 8 years of being married we've never gotten a tree; I think this year we might get a rosemary tree or something we can plant or continue to use once the holiday is over. A big tree would be an invitation for kitty bedlam. And then I guess just a special holiday menu :shrug:

But I've got a holiday celebration of some sort hardwired into me from my family and the season feels sort of empty without some effort on my part, I guess.

On edit: Thank you, Redstone, for replying. It helped me; I'm in a bit of a muddle here, trying to do something special ...

[Manifestor_of_Light]

2. We do the secular xmas thing also.

Food and lights and trees. Fun without any religion. Maybe a good book for a present, or a CD.

It was stolen from the Pagans anyway.

[Flaxbee]

5. yes, I'll probably incorporate somehow an aspect of

a winter solstice celebration, since as you mention, "Christ's Birthday" just happened to fall very conveniently near the old Pagan rituals in an attempt to win those savages over to the much more civilized practices of Christianity. Not what Christ said really said and meant, of course, but what the Church tried to sell ...

On edit: Thank you, Perragrande, for replying. I meant to say that initially, I appreciate people sharing their holiday rituals with me as I flail around trying to decide what to do.

[enigmatic]

3. personal riuals

Before I met my wife, I used Xmas as a personal/spritual cleansing day just to recharge my soul. When I lived in Phoenix, I often biked out into the desert and camped; other times it could have been something as simple as writing. It was solitary, and it was meant to be.

My wife and I have our rituals; walking to Tim Hortons in the morning and getting Xmas coffee; eating something we've never had before (Goose this year), and getting one of our gifts to each other an annual thing (a radio for me, slippers for her), that kind of stuff. And enjoying each other, too.

[Flaxbee]

6. sounds nice, and personal

I need to figure out what's going to work for us, probably a few years of trying different things.

on edit: Thanks, enigmatic. I grew up near Palm Springs, CA, and remember desert Christmases -- part of my struggle, I think, is that I'm so far away from everything I grew up with, and so many of my 'touchstones' are missing. Need to find new ones.

[Critters2]

7. Well, it's all pretty traditional for me.

Christmas Eve worship. Then my dad and I will drive around looking at lights a bit. Then home for hot apple cider and cookies before bed. Next morning, sharing gifts, then driving to my sister's for dinner. Hanging around there for a while, often watching a DVD if anyone got one for a gift (last year--MST3K: Santa meets the Martians). Then driving back here. Last year, we then took the beagle for a walk in the snow.

Of course, I am a religious person, so my situation is a bit different than yours. But, that's what I do.

[Flaxbee]

9. sounds similar to what we did as kids, w/o the services.

I had a bunch of sisters around, usually, and often cousins at first; as everyone grew up and away from the house (all my sisters are much older than I am) the holiday sort of drifted away. My mom tried to keep it alive, but in a misguided sort of stuff-filled way, and my dad who is a genuine scrooge was no help to her at all in trying to form a cohesive family event.

So I guess I'm just trying to figure out what will work here and now.

And I meant to say this to everyone who replied: thank you for letting me into your holiday a bit. I appreciate it.

[kwassa]

8. I like singing in the choir at church on Christmas Eve

The music is what I like the most.

I hate the commercialism of the secular Christmas.

Most of the way it is celebrated now is about retail stores.

[Critters2]

10. The music really makes it for me.

This year, I didnt' sing in the community Messiah, because I had to be at an ordination at the time of the concert. I REALLY missed that (who gets ordained on Advent 3?!). Our Christmas Eve service is Carols and Lessons, which is really nice--again, especially the music.

The buying stuff isn't that important to me. In fact, I tend to be right against the holiday when I realize I should be getting some gifts bought. I don't understand why gift-buying is so important.

[kwassa]

13. yeah, I missed singing "The Messiah", too

I've done it with a serious concert choir a couple of times. We were going to drop in on a cattle call performance to support a local prep school, but snow and life got in the way.

So I put on the CD and wander around the house singing along.

[Flaxbee]

11. I have the most HORRIBLE singing voice! lol! But I wish I

could sing without making it sour for everyone else. I do love the music, though - picked up a CD of Russian chants (Orthodox monastery) and it's playing now.

My husband and I were out earlier, stopping into a few stores to pick up coffee at a place we like, and there were so many people running around glassy-eyed, in a frenzy to buy something, anything, because that's OF COURSE what the holiday is about, right?

I'm not against gift giving in any way, I just wish it weren't pushed in such a crass, keep-the-economy-afloat-by-spending-$$$ way.

Thanks for your input, kwassa! Enjoy your holiday.

[Critters2]

12. I always say I have a choir voice--but not a solo voice. nt

[ThoughtCriminal]

14. Listen to Handel's Messiah

Started when I was a freshman in college. We had finals just before Christmas break and I was stuck there until the last test of the last day. Most of the students were already gone and I was all alone studying. A friend worked at the campus radio station and I called in a request. She found the album played the whole thing.

[harmonicon]

15. good idea for a thread - I need the same answers

This year it's just me and my girlfriend. We both live in Europe (but in different countries), and our families can't come for different reasons and flying with a dog (our offspring) is a pain. I think we're going to do small presents, but apart from that, I don't know.... we'd like to make some of our favourite holiday recipes, but so many of the ingredients you can't get out of the US! hmmrf (stuffing, the way my grandma made it, needs cream of mushroom soup - really, it's good!). And we're not religious (well, she's a pagan or a wican or something that I just don't understand, but not too hard-core), so we won't go to services (also I don't speak French, so the services wouldn't mean much). It still seems like we should do something to mark the day as a special time to spend with loved ones and to show our appreciation for each other more than we usually would, but I don't know how... puzzled.

[Flaxbee]

16. different countries in Europe?

that can't be easy -- sounds maybe like you'll be in France for the holiday (you mentioned not speaking French...) Where are you? What are more common French Christmas traditions, that you might be able to customize into your own rituals that you can carry throughout the rest of your life?

As for food, is there anyone you know who could send you a can or two of cream of mushroom soup? ;-)

It's hard, but I think it's important, to try to figure out what's right for you during the holidays. I haven't given it much thought these last few years, but it has become important to me recently and I need to figure out what my husband and I can carry with us for future holidays.

Good luck! Let us know what you do; I'm curious. My husband spent many holidays in Finland before we were married, and always talks with fondness about those days.

[harmonicon]

17. I live in England, she lives in France

I'll be over there starting this weekend (haven't seen her since I moved here in Oct., so, yay!). They have Christmas markets all over her city (one right outside her apartment building, which drives her crazy with the crowds and music), and I think we'll go hunt around all of those to find some nice things. Getting soup sent (and poultry seasoning) had occurred to me, but I haven't gotten around to asking for it yet, so it may be too late. Her parents were going to be there too, but had to cancel last minute, so all of our plans have to be changed now. I think it will be ok, but sort of lonely. I did spend one Christmas with friends in the Czech Republic, which was a total blast that I'll remember forever. If your husband's experiences in Finland were anything like that, I can understand his fond memories. I wish I had ideas for you and the hubby.... hmm... do you have any friends in a similar situation? If I'm at my parents' house for xmas, I have some friends (well, the whole family are friends after so many years) who I go to see just for drinks or maybe a piece of cake after the big things like presents and dinner are over - that's nice. Or maybe you guys have a favorite movie you could both agree to watch, or a few records to listen to? Have you heard David Sedaris's "The Santaland Diaries"? It's been aired on different public radio shows for years now - if that's on my whole family will listen to that.... maybe I have to buy an mp3 of it or something.

[Flaxbee]

18. we'll be working on a few ideas tomorrow --

maybe a tree of some sort (perhaps a rosemary tree, or maybe a super-artificial pink tree that we'll keep and re-use forever - cutting down a tree to toss at the end of the season doesn't appeal to me at all), plan out a menu, etc. We have a bunch of back-logged movies we'd like to watch.

It's just, we both work at home, together, so we're together a lot of the time and I want to differentiate this date somehow. No real friends here (we want to move ASAP) - we're in a very clique, fundie small town, so never really fit in anywhere.

But we'll manage. I've enlisted his help - told him it was important to me (we've just ignored the holiday the past several years) - so it'll be OK, hopefully more than OK.

I expect you'll have a lot of fun cruising around the Christmas markets! :hi:

[harmonicon]

20. tree is a good idea

But I think maybe we'll just get a wreath or something green we can put things around and put some lights on. Oh! maybe I can do this, and you could do it to: make something together like popcorn on a string - just something that you can work on together (I know the working from home thing - we're both musicians and often in separate rooms doing our own thing when we're together) that you wouldn't do apart from the holidays (cooking doesn't count). A few years ago my brother bought a little pine tree to use as a christmas tree, and now it's in the biggest pot ever and can't be moved up stairs - it's hilarious, but far more fun than a "normal" christmas tree, and christmas is one day of the year to mark it's progress from charley brown christmas tree to gigantic shrub.

[Arugula Latte]

19. We're totally secularists (fuck off, Mitt Romney!) but we do tree, gifts and ... "buttcheek cookies"

Ah, yes. The heartwarming buttcheek cookies tradition. It started a few years ago when my kids and I were making cut-out sugar cookies and had some dough scraps left. I rolled them into balls, thinking I'd smush them and make a snowman. Well, somehow, they wound up as two-ball snowmen, and we decided that they were, in fact, not snowmen, but buttcheeks. A cherished family tradition was born. Every year, my kids and I ensure that we make plenty of buttcheek cookies to go around.

[Connonym]

22. I see your buttcheek cookies and raise you nipple cookies

the peanutbutter ones with a hershey kiss on top -- dubbed by my ex as "nipple cookies" and some how the name stuck and that is what they are called in my family.

[Arugula Latte]

24. I like that! Very descriptive. It's funny, someone just gave me a bag o' those today!

Yummmmmy!

Hershey cookies, nipple cookies, call them what you will ... I calls 'em good eatin'! :9

:hi:

[EnviroBat]

27. Oh Yeah! And I'll bring the butt-fudge!

or, maybe not...

[Arugula Latte]

28. That's the spirit! ... Kinda like "Stone Soup"

Everyone pitches in!

:toast:

[qwertyMike]

21. Opening one present

After Mid Night Mass Xmas Eve with my kids.

Warm and fuzzy kinda thing

[Connonym]

23. I'm not religious but Xmas was always a big deal when I was a kid

I have kids and so the best part for me is making it fun for them. I have fond memories from childhood of lots of baking of treats and making special foods. This is part of the tradition that I like to keep with my kids. It's an excuse to nest and enjoy each others company. I love watching my kids open presents and then we usually have rented a bunch of movies that we watch together and/or play board games. I really, really wanted to get this Charlie Brown Xmas tree sort of as a thumb in the face of tradition but the idea made my younger daughter cry so I went ahead with a traditional tree. I used to love decorating and have a huge collection of Santas but as my life situation has changed (and I've gone from upper middle class to working poor) I've stopped caring about that kind of shit and it seems like way too much work and expense and not enough emotional payback.

[Parche]

25. Hey Flaxee,

I have gotten to the point where I really dont like Christmas anymore, its just too
store bought, I would rather give through out the year, like in July we have our
annual barbecue, and my mommy and stepdad come up, and we have our good friends of 48years over (my 2nd mom and dad!!) and I get them gift certs, pay for their hotel and the barbecue which is always at my brothers house.
But I sure like doing 'trips' for people that live in Georgia!!!
Happy Holidays :hug: :hug: :hi:

[HERVEPA]

26. Movie and Chinese Restaurant. The Jewish Christmas standard

[DarkTirade]

29. For me it's an excuse to spend time with family, like most holidays.

I never realized how lucky I was in the family deparment until I went off to college and met a bunch of new people and heard about their families. :) My family has always been fairly poor, but they did their damndest to foster our various talents and educate us properly. And they actually let us learn to stand on our own before we went off to college. So for us, college wasn't just some extension of high school. I was a bit surprised when I found out that just about everyone I knew in college had parents who would do things like search their rooms when they were teenagers, and insist on seeing their grades every step of the way in college. My parents actually, y'know, TALKED to us about things. Like human beings. If they wanted to know how we were doing in school, they'd ask. What a novel concept.

Anyhow, back on topic. Family, hanging out, ect. But christmas in particular there are a few things we do that aren't done at any other time of year. We usually end up pulling out some christmas carols. Between everyone in my immediate family we've got all four voice parts.

Hmm... just realized that since we're doing it at my brother's place this year instead of my parents, we won't have access to a piano. (my mom managed to find an old upright piano that someone was THROWING AWAY 20+ years ago and she nabbed it. Had it ever since.) This could be a problem. :P Eh, we've all got guitars, I'm sure we can make do. And if I have to I'll try to find batteries for my little 5 octave keyboard. Halleluja chorus might be a little hard that way, but we'll figure something out.

Anyhow, our other tradition is one that started in the previous generation. My grandparents always used to have the big christmas dinner on christmas eve, so on christmas day they didn't have to cook and they could just relax and have leftovers. So we've started doing that too. And it works pretty well, if I do say so myself.

The last four or five years we've also started having the main course be a leg of lamb. I'm assuming we're doing that again this year. 'Tis much tastier than beef IMO, and healthier too. :) I'm not sure exactly what kind of glaze we usually use, but I know it also involves cutting little slits and putting a clove of garlic in each slit. It's damn tasty. And a helluva lot better than doing another turkey so soon after thanksgiving.

As far as presents and whatnot go, we don't go crazy about it. We just try to get something for everyone. If we can't, we can't. C'est la vie. There have been christmases where various family members were having money problems and those christmases weren't any better or worse than others. :)