Well I had planned to wait a month for this

[SPKrazy]

but the fact of the matter is that I can't stand the limbo state I'm in.

Separation is one thing, but total estrangement and loss of the feeling that I have any input into my son's life in a meaningful way anymore is putting the icing on the cake.

I now have my words forever in an email and in her inbox.

Time to lawyer up as they say.

the month wait was to be until after my son's birthday, but that won't make any difference really.

Just time to get the agreements clear, the arrangements clear, the finances clear, and the visitation clear.

As someone said recently, life on a spread sheet I guess.

Well, just a rant here in the wee hours of the morning or late night depending on your perspective.

:hi:

might need some hugs and vibes for this folks, it is new and uncharted territory.

thanks

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

1. ...

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

3. thanks KW

:hug:

[Inchworm]

2. I thought you had your stuffs settled

?

no matter if you do or not it sucks after that whole divorce thing, too. No matter how much you wanted it, it's a big change.

:pals:

[SPKrazy]

4. ...

no, I'm afraid not by a long shot

time to do it for real and not the practice run

:hug:

[Inchworm]

5. Oh shit

I'm sorry dude.

Stay as strong as expected. Thats alls I know. I hated mine and the change was difficult.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

6. change is inevitible

and strength comes from taking a stand sometimes.

[Inchworm]

9. be nice

and be a cool dad.

skroo her.. go for teh neck.. growl.. oops, my bad.

be nice :)

:yourock:

[SPKrazy]

10. I'm going to be nice

and all my concern is about him

and knowing that I matter to him is what keeps me going.

Feeling like I'm being taken away from that role makes me mad.

That shit will stop.

:hi:

thanks

[Inchworm]

15. thats a hard part

you are never being taken from "dad." The role, that's up to you. Hec, if you got help by another dude (so long as he's cool) I'd welcome it.

I'm weird though.

:P

[SPKrazy]

16. that's not it

but you are weird :P

:hug:

[Inchworm]

18. can I milk it out of you?

Moooooooooo!



Hard to find normal size pics of cows.

:)

[SPKrazy]

20. it isn't complicated

just not being kept in the loop on what's going on in my son's life on a daily basis.

We live in the same town.

that role can't be taken away from me just because of whatever she is thinking.

that's all

[Inchworm]

21. Last time hehe

ok.. you are ok.

Ever seen a cock this size?



:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

22. uhm....

yeah

I posted a thread with that cock in it earlier tonight :shrug:


:rofl:

[Inchworm]

24. there are only so many big cocks out there

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

26. I'm pretty sure mine was bigger than that one

but maybe not

mine was big enough though :D

[havocmom]

7. See if you can find a book called Uncoupling

And tell yourself, today is not what forever feels like

Many days it won't feel like it, but this whole thing is survive-able. And you come out able to feel more, do more, be more, and love more. Time, my friend. Time to grow.

It's ambivalence that is the killer. You are on the road to recovery now, but it won't feel like that for a while yet. Hang in there and vent when you need to. Lots of shoulders to lean on for you. People care about you and want you to really believe in yourself.

It's gonna be OK, but it takes time and a whole lotta work. You are worth your effort. Become your best friend for a while.

Someday, this will be a dim pain to look back on. I promise.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

11. Thanks Havocmom

I believe you when you speak.

:hug:

I'll look for that book

thanks

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. My dear Southpawkicker...

Oh sweetie...

I'm sure it will get easier.......I'm hoping it'll be soon...


:hug:

[SPKrazy]

13. Sooner rather than later is what needs to happen

getting things sorted out and settled won't be easy, but it has to happen because this is getting to be somewhat of a living in limbo situation where I'm feeling like I'm getting screwed again.

Time to forge forward

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

12. a friend often reminds me

that the place in between when you know you need to take an action and when you actually TAKE action is the crazy place

get out of the crazy place ASAP

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

14. I'm moving out of that place as we speak

or write rather

thanks

I agree with that

:hug:

[krispos42]

17. Shit, it took me 18 months to get started on divorce!

We were just in a stable place, I guess. We were on good terms, so "needing" a divorce wasn't an issue. But eventually I got a lawyer and did the deed amicably.

You'll be okay.

[SPKrazy]

19. That's about what this has been

18 months or so, close to it

tried to see if it would work

sought counseling

separated

now a vast ocean seems to separate us and it's time

[FloridaJudy]

23. Life on life's terms stinks sometimes

But everything passes, and this shall too. In the meantime, do something nice for yourself: call a friend, eat a really good piece of chocolate, snuggle up in a warm corner with a entertaining book, rent a hysterically funny DVD.

And here's a hug. Tiger-sized.

[SPKrazy]

25. Thanks Florida Judy

I've called a few friends

got a hold of one

talked for a while but turns out she was more upset than I was... so I gave her a supportive quick talk and said good bye.

No one else is up. :(

Well not true, when I was trying to call people here no one was up.

[Capn Sunshine]

27. Arrrrrrr

Sometimes it helps to talk like a pirate.


worked wonders for me. Except these days I avoid rum.

Get ready for a roller coaster ride that is only fun when it stops.
People will try to reassure you with kind platitudes, and they mean well. But you just want to get away sometimes, and many times it will seem you are an alien walking among a strange and stagnant culture.

Yeah, you'll be OK. But take this to heart: You'll never be the same, but you'll become the you you're about to be. Sorry for the mysticism, but I'm trying to quantify the unquantifiable.
But yeah, it's like being born with all the attendant pain you caused your mom being brought low upon your soul. And then one day there's a brilliant flash and you realize goddam it, you're happy again.

[SPKrazy]

31. Thanks!

interesting points!

Arrrr!!!

[shanine]

28. You will be ok

no matter what.:hug:

[SPKrazy]

32. Thanks!

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

29. Sorry SPK

I'm a few steps ahead of you and not much help, I'm afraid....

I do know that what havocmom said is true

I LOVE this:

today is not what forever feels like....

I hope I remember to say this to everyday I need to....

:hug: :hi:


lost

[SPKrazy]

33. Today is not what forever feels like

very true

:hug:

thanks

[laylah]

30. ...

:hug: Been there, done that, to some degree. My only "consolation" is I never DID have much input into my daughter's lives so one can't lose what one never had. It will get better, I promise SPK.

[SPKrazy]

34. Thanks Laylah!

:hug:

[Parche]

35. good hugs/vibes/thoughts

for my Arkansas friend :hug: :hug:

:hi:

[SPKrazy]

40. Thanks Parche

:hug: :hug:

:hi:

[crim son]

36. You have plenty of hugs and vibes from me, pawpicker.

Just remember what inchworm said above - his cock is bigger than yours. :P NO! I mean, you are the your boy's Father and nobody else. All the rights you can grab, do so, and then make use of them.

[SPKrazy]

41. LOL OMG

:rofl:

"his cock is bigger than yours" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

thanks crimmie

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

37. Aw, bro......

It's a tough thing to go through, especially when children are involved. I agree, though; time to put things in order, for the sake of all of you.

:hug: :loveya:

[SPKrazy]

42. Thanks sis!

:hug:

:loveya:

[Gormy Cuss]

38. A lawyer can be a good step.

I hope that you have some good referrals from friends. A good divorce lawyer will keep it as amicable as possible and still negotiate the best settlement for you and your boy (her lawyer will take care of her.)

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

43. Got some good ones today

:hug:

thanks

[femmocrat]

39. Just know that we care about you and support you, SPK.

And I trust you to do what is right for your son. He is the most important person in this triangle.

:hug: :grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

44. Yeah, he is

:hug:

:hi:

[zingaro]

45. forward.

Do what you have to do. Support happens, kwim?

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

46. KWIM- YES!

:hug:

:yourock:

thanks friend!

[Critters2]

47. Only one thing to say....

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

49. gracias

:hug:

[Longhorn]

48. It's a painful time

but you obviously care about him. I hope you get it worked out soon. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

50. working on it

:hug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

51. 1-800-dadslaw if you don't have any lawyer ideas.

I'll pray for the best possible outcome for you, SPK. Hang in there day by day and trust in the greater good. Remember everything that's on your side, and ask for help...

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

52. thanks...

I got some good rec's today

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

53. I am sorry Southpaw....

Hurting sucks. And the hurt you must feel right now has to be unbearable. I will keep you in my thoughts.

[SPKrazy]

54. you are in mine too Mrs. G

:hug: :hug:

[supernova]

55. It's a good thing

It might not seem like it now but it will give you a good foundation for the next stage of your life and get clear of what you want.

Just hold on to thoughts of your son and how much you love him; that will see you through.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

56. thanks superwoman!

:hug:

[supernova]

58. Mangled sentence

:silly:

I meant to say "get clear of the past and focus on what you want for the future..."

Damn. Should probably go to bed now.

See ya tomorrow, SPK

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

59. mmuhua!

:hug:

good night

[GreenPartyVoter]

57. *hugs* Hope the transition goes smoothly as possible

[SPKrazy]

60. thanks

:hug: