The Revalation:

[LeftyMom]

First of all, we'd like to clear a few things up that people guessed on the original post.

Obviously, we're not having a baby. I haven't been down there (by there I mean Florida, not any of the nicer parts of flvegan, gutterminds, although that's also true) in a year. So if I'd got pregnant the last time we engaged in the required activity, you all would have noticed the baby pictures by now. No mafia-style pregnancies either: I haven't got any temperature sensitive overnight deliveries. Also, as a vegan I'd feel really odd having to buy a turkey baster. :P Anyhow, I'm happy with the family I've got, and I think he's cool with his (actually, if anybody needs a dog or three, I think he'd be okay with a slightly smaller family, so feel free to let him know if you need a pit bull of your very own.) So yeah, the pitter patter of pleather shod feet is not happening, and not exactly likely in the future. Sorry to disappoint, for those looking forward to the exciting adventures of baby leftyvegan. I'm sure this is a big sigh of relief for those of you who were trying to imagine sharing the lounge with an even bitchier LeftyMom.

Secondly, since this appeared to have been stated or assumed a few times, no, we're not getting married. Actually, I'm going to repeat that for emphasis, since we've been asked about it for oh, three years now, we have no intention of getting married, either in the immediate or distant future. Both 'cause we're both crusty, bitter divorced people (okay, not so much with the bitter thing of late, which is probably where the assumption came from, unless you all really just want to see flvegan dressed up- I have and I can't blame you!) and since it'd be kind of lame to avail ourselves of an institution that our friends cannot. And I hate dressing up and wearing makeup, and we both hate dancing in public slightly more than we hate say, Karl Rove, so you can definitely file that whole wedding thing under Things That Just Aint Gonna Happen.

Thirdly, I'm not moving to Florida (again, school, not to mention that the kid kinda likes seeing his Dad regularly) and no, I haven't talked flvegan into moving out here to civilization. His job does like him to show up at the office every now and then, and it's a twelve hour flight. Presumably, I'll wind up moving eventually, but right now we don't even have a realistic time frame for that, as I'm still years away from finishing school, and out of state tuition would make relocating mid-studies prohibitively expensive. Also, I like my vote counting, I hate moving and humidity does horrible things to my hair, so should I wind up moving down there to America's Sleepy Penis you'll be able to look forward to lots of kicking, screaming and general crankiness from me. So that's not it either, but I'm sure it'll be great fun to read about when it happens.

I'd also like to add that I'm a bit disappointed that nobody guessed anything more outlandish, such as one of us getting into trouble with the law or anything that involved me having a torrid affair with some hot guy. In the future, please invent scenarios that involve me and hot guys. But only if they're vegan, 'cause I have standards, even in your imagination.

Which brings me to what the announcement is: we couldn't for the life of us think of a good prank that didn't involve the fella looking like an asshole and risking getting his ass beat. So I decided to let you all think of your own scenario and convince yourselves. And it worked.

So yeah, we're evil fucks. But I guess that's only an announcement if you're new to the lounge. :P

[petronius]

1. Blah blah blah - no one could possibly have time to read all that

So are you pregnant, or getting married, or moving to Florida, or banging a hot guy, or what? :shrug:

[LeftyMom]

2. Hot Guy.

:9

[petronius]

3. Yeah, you were right to hold that back:

Nobody would have believed it yesterday! :P

</kidding>

[ghostsofgiants]

4. Haha, diabolical.