I have a cold. Recommend some remedies that WON'T work

[Orrex]

First among them: bogus cold medicines stripped of their power by anti-meth-lab hysteria. I had to go directly to the pharmacist to get the good stuff.

Other remedies that won't work?

[Debi]

1. Get drunk and go swimming nt

[crimsonblue]

2. vodka.

and a dull knife. Drink vodka and purpose of knife shall become clear.

[BarenakedLady]

13. That always works for me.

[TZ]

3. Thimerosol

Not so good for the sinuses...:P

[Orrex]

8. Now you tell me

Right before bed I drank a big ol' glass of the stuff, with extra mercury for good measure.

[grannylib]

4. Pack of Camel Straights and some milk. Guaranteed to make you

feel like liquid shit.

[AlCzervik]

6. i was going to recommend Kools but i like your combination better. Light em up

Orrex and go heavy on the dairy!

[JTG of the PRB]

5. Garlic... and lots of it!

Oh wait... That's only for vampires.

[zanne]

7. Many, many hot toddies. nt

[quip]

9. Leeches

on your unit. NOT what you want sucking you there to make you feel better.

:hide:

[TZ]

12. .....

:spray:

BTW...Interesting factoid..Leeches are actually a valid treatment for one of the diseases related to mine (but not mine). However, I doubt anyone would put a leech on their hoo-hah!:D

[Dr. Strange]

15. Locking.

No leeches on your leakers, please.

[TZ]

16. ....

leakers...aka...the other head....:P

[hobbit709]

10. 1856 British Medical Journal remedy

1. Hang hat on wall at foot of bed.
2. Get into bed.
3. Drink whiskey until you see two hats.

[madinmaryland]

11. Stick your head in the toilet tornado...

[BarenakedLady]

14. Run into traffic

That actually does work to rid you of a cold. And everything else.