Match Game Story: "Gonad Gus was so fucking dumb, he sent ___ to his mother."

[Rabrrrrrr]

Fill in the blank with more than ten words to make a nice little story.

Preferably with lots of blood and psychological trauma.

[suninvited]

1. So dumb that ...

"Gonad Gus was so fucking dumb, he sent a dozen roses to his wife, along with a note begging for forgiveness for his inability to satisfy her. Unfortunately, he got confused while placing his order with the florist and accidentally sent the package to his mother."

[suninvited]

2. surely someone much more imaginative than I can have a

crack at this !!

[Fenris]

3. "the severed head of a squirrel and also the fingers of Imagine in Texas"

[suninvited]

4. that isn't

more than ten words

[Fenris]

5. Fine.

[suninvited]

6. sorry

but, it wasn't

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Yes it is - it's fourteen words.

[suninvited]

9. Well NOW it is

since he added my fingers. I am having a lot of trouble typing this morning without them.

[DS1]

8. he sent 2,000 hack saws with simple "Not a Hack Saw" labels on them to

Pelican Bay State Prison, thinking that once the thugs and goons hacked their way out they would join him on his quest to get back at that motherfucker who taunted him at 7-Eleven when he was a child playing Crystal Castles for 25 cents a pop. It took him many years to save up for the saws, and increasingly expensive shipping costs, in fact his next target on the list was the local postmaster. He had plenty of time to stew over these details on his paper route. There's nothing quite like driving on the wrong side the road hurling the gossip rag at cats before sunrise.

When he heard the car pull up, and saw the State Official plates, he figured that some of the inmates had stolen a vehicle to get to his house. He was wrong. It was the governor. It was the governor, reprising his role as Colonel John Matrix, only without the lines of black paint. Showing his new found acting range, Matrix first had some tea with Gonad Gus, and they enjoyed some light banter before Matrix pulled a table saw disc out of his back pocket and frisbeed it into the side of Gus's newly ventilated head. Finally, taking a cue from Vince Li, he removed Gus's head, dropped it in a box with a note reading "He never saw it coming" and mailed it to his mother.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. Bwuhahaha! Perfect!!

But what about the magical self-repairing Porsche?

:rofl:

:yourock: