I just got a phone call from my principal. My student has died

[greenbriar]

If only I had acted somehow from that first assignment she wrote where she all but said she had a shitty life and was depressed maybe I could have prevented this!!!




http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=8055471&mesg_id=8055471



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5iorvtPYsU&feature=related

[elshiva]

1. .....

:hug: :hug: :cry: :(

[Arugula Latte]

2. You can't blame yourself!

It's not your fault!

It is a horrible thing. My son is 11. ... I.Cannot.Imagine. :cry:

:hug: Please don't go down the Guilt Road. Again -- Don't blame yourself. Please. :hug:

[bigwillq]

3. It's not your fault.

My thoughts go out to her family. What a terrible loss. :cry:

:hug:

[skygazer]

4. Don't you dare blame yourself for this!

You could not have known and even if you did something, it may not have averted this. It's a horrible, horrible tragedy but it is NOT your fault. :hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. I'm so sorry...

One of the horrible things about suicide is that the survivors blame themselves and lament on how they possibly could have done something. The fact is that there is sometimes little or nothing anyone can do. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear greenbriar...

Do NOT blame yourself.

It isn't your fault, not in any way...

Safe passage to her...

Much love and support to all who love her...

:hug:

[Swede]

7. The poor baby never even started living!

That is so sad.

[SPKrazy]

8. First

don't blame yourself

second, if there is a lesson to learn that is that people have shitty lives and as a teacher, or like myself a counselor, we have to listen for what people aren't saying sometimes. Of course we never are perfect, and sometimes people do things we would not expect them to do.

So, if you must take guilt from this, turn it in a positive way and listen differently, but always remember, you can't stop someone from doing the unspeakable if they do it. You can be someone they can talk to if they need to talk. You can be someone that cares about their lives. You can be someone who watches for clues and acts on those clues even if you are wrong.

I am sorry, I won't ever sit in judgment of you or anyone else in your position. We all are fragile beings, and dammit that just sucks.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Fleshdancer]

9. I am so very sorry greenbriar

:cry:

I know this is probably easier said than done, but please don't blame yourself.

[TrogL]

10. I am a former teacher - This is not your responsibility

I taught in what basically amounted to an inner city school. If I acted on every student who wrote a paper about being depressed, I'd have ratted out every student in the class.

This is the parents' responsibility first and last.

[malta blue]

11. I am so sorry greenbriar.

:hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

12. Oh Greenbriar...I'm so very sorry...

You couldn't have possibly known at the time...

How many people say they have shitty lives and are depressed? Please don't blame yourself for this tragedy. :hug::hug::hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

13. I am so very, very sorry. *hugs*

[flvegan]

14. How horrible.

I'm sorry, greenbriar. My heart goes out to the family of that child, and to each kid in that school that's going to have a tough time dealing with this.

Tragic.

[Sanity Claws]

15. I am so sorry

I am also so sorry for that little girl. One can only wonder what pain she was going through.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

16. Oh greenbriar

:hug: :cry: :cry:

We're here for you.

[lightningandsnow]

17. I'm so sorry.

Don't blame yourself...there was nothing you could do.

:hug:

[Blue Diadem]

18. .

:hug:

I'm so very sorry.

May she rest in peace.

greenbriar, there's no way you could have known she'd do this. :hug:

[Bennyboy]

19. Oh I am so sorry......

Suicide is really hard for everyone. But it is not on you. You cannot deal in what if's.

I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you and her family.

[supernova]

20. So heartbreaking,

Please don't blame yourself greenbriar.

:hug: :hug: :hug:


She obviously was hurting and didn't get the help she needed. But she might have succeeded anyway. There's no way to know.

I wish you peace.

[I Have A Dream]

21. My heart hurts for the family & friends of this child; my heart hurts for you also.

You are a wonderful teacher to care so deeply for your student. I'm sure that you help many more students than you could ever know. Don't ever forget that.

None of us is able to see the future to be able to tell that something like this will happen. It's in no way your fault. :(

:hug:

[NJmaverick]

22. You had no way of knowing.

Suicides are so rare at that age, that you would have needed magical powers to anticipate what happened. Don't blame yourself, it wasn't in any way your fault.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[easttexaslefty]

40. you are so right

it was in no way, no how greenbriar's fault.

[RainDog]

23. I'm so sorry. n/t

[BlueIris]

24. I'm sorry. That is terrible. nt

[bluesbassman]

25. Truly a tragedy, but please don't take it upon yourself.

Peace and strength to you greenbriar. Be there for the friends she left behind, for they need your strength now.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

26. I'm so sorry, greenbriar

:hug:

She obviously had problems beyond what you knew. Since it isn't unusual for kids that age to be moody, you had no way of knowing that she was one of the ones in danger.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

27. Dupe

n/t

[otherlander]

28. Oh, no.

:cry:

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

29. .....

:hug:


I have no words of wisdom....

just words of support for you


it is not your fault.....


lost

[pitohui]

30. i'm sorry to hear it, don't know what to say

my young neighbor tried to hang herself at age 8 when i was not much older myself, we believe it was because her stepfather was molesting her but before my parents could get the state to get off its hind legs and investigate he took her and disappeared forever (but not before threatening my folks w. a gun for trying to help the child)

things happen that we can't understand why they happen, god sucks in my humble opinion, if it were up to me things would be different

i don't believe you did anything wrong, we all try to think of something we could have done differently but it isn't up to us, it's fate i think, i believe you did the best you could

[emilyg]

31. I am so sorry.

[BreweryYardRat]

32. Damn.

I was borderline suicidal at that age myself, so I can understand what she was going through. My sympathies for both you and her.

And hey, think of it this way. You may have been the only person who ever really showed her some love.

[Danger Mouse]

33. I've seen some of the darkest shit imaginable in kids' lives.

Tragically, I can understand how it could get so bad. It amazes me how strong some kids are. Some just aren't strong enough.
Don't blame yourself. Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do.

[Breeze54]

34. What are the signs of SUICIDE?

:shrug:

[easttexaslefty]

44. Warning signs of suicide include:

Observable signs of suicide include:
observation signs of serious depression
unrelenting low mood
pessimism
hopelessness
desperation
anxiety, phychic pain and inner tension
withdrawal
sleep problems
Increaed alchol and/or drug use
Recent impulsiveness and talking unnecessary ricks
Threating suicide or expressing a strong wish to die
Making a plan:
giving away prized possessions
sudden or inpulsive purchase of a firearm
obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications
Unexpected rage or anger
{taken from www.afsp.org}

[enigmatic]

35. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[sasquatch]

36. Here, this for you greenbriar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsUM7V6Ku_8

[coffeenap]

37. I am so sorry, greenbriar. It is NOT your fault!

I have teens, and we talk OFTEN about the situations kids find themselves in. The thing my kids ponder the most is why parents can't or won't acknowledge that the feelings and problems of young people are REAL. Depression is rampant and there is no way you could have understood how deep this child's situation was by a first writing assignment--she needed so much more than even the best, most wonderful teacher (like you) could have given. By feeling for her, you show your respect and love for the children you teach. Thank you for being that kind of teacher, that kind of person. My family wishes you peace and healing.

[easttexaslefty]

38. you are not responsible

You would have done anything to save that girl's life if you had any idea she was suicidal. Be kind to yourself.....

[CreekDog]

39. I'm so sorry, this is heartbreaking. Please don't blame yourself.

:cry: :hug:

some things are just bigger than us. hang in there.

[SacredCow]

41. So VERY sorry....

:hug:

[SeaLyons]

42. It's not your fault, greenbriar.....

I'm sorry that little angel took her life, but it's not your fault in any way.

:cry: :hug:

[raccoon]

43. I'm so sorry...please don't blame yourself. nt

[MissMillie]

45. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

holy cow, greenbriar... you're not to blame. I'm sure it feels natural to think that you may have had some control over this, but you didn't.

:hug:


I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:

[easttexaslefty]

46. Sweetie,

I just feel I have to say more...I didn't have any idea my son was suicidal, yet he was. On the online support group I belong to, there are parents who knew their children were depressed and did everything in their power to help their child but still the outcome was the same. We do what we can with the knowledge we have...don't blame yourself, okay?

[greenbriar]

47. thank you all

I can't tell you how you helped me and comforted me when I needed it.


I had to be strong for all the kids, but I needed the kindness you showed


thank you

[Sequoia]

48. I'm so sorry greenbriar.

Poor little child. I wonder why she thought she had a bad enough life to do that. Were her parents abusive towards her? I know you don't know, but this is very trafic. Please don't blame yourself.

[yellowdogintexas]

49. oh I am so very sorry. Your school should seriously consider setting up

a Survivors group for the kids and the teachers.

Your local Mental Health Association can link you up with one, or the Suicide Hotline in your area ...

It would be voluntary of course but would provide a trained facilitator who has lived through this type of event and you know you are in a room of others who know how this feels.

my heart goes out to you

and I repeat what others have said...do NOT blame yourself.

[ThatsMyBarack]

50. :cry:

:hug: :grouphug:

[ThomCat]

51. I am so, so sorry for everything she must have gone through to get there.

:cry:

Please don't blame yourself though. You were not a cause, or even a factor. Greave, but please don't blame. :hug:

[Mad_Dem_X]

52. Please don't blame yourself

:hug:

[applegrove]

53. So sorry to hear that.

[AngryOldDem]

54. Don't do that to yourself. Please. n/t

[crim son]

55. My god.

I can think of few worse things, although in this case if the child was going to have severe brain damage, maybe death is a mercy. So very sorry, greenbriar.

[greenbriar]

56. she would NEVER have wanted to live

like that

[mvd]

57. Very sorry, greenbriar

:hug:

[greenbriar]

58. thank you

the funeral is Wed