Are you selfish if you don't want kids?

[Symarip]

My coworker just went on some bullshit rant about how someday I'll want kids because everybody does. Newsflash, fuckstick - I don't have kids and I don't want em. No slight to you spawners out there - way to keep the species going. Personally, I just like having a big screen better. And in my current situation I don't feel obligated to lie to my dog about Santa Claus or pretend he's smart when he's not. Is there anything wrong with not wanting kids? How is it possibly selfish to prefer other aspects of life to something or someone that doesn't exist?

[hobbit709]

1. I wouldn't my kid to go through what I did growing up

That's why I don't have any.

[raccoon]

36. Ditto. nt

[travelingtypist]

107. Same here. My family was fucked up.

All of the girls, the little kids, were sexually molested, in all branches
of the family.

My mom took a picture of me when I was about 10 holding my cousin and I looked
absolutely horrified. Then when I was 19, in the Army, living in Germany, my
best friend got pregnant by a guy who used to beat the living shit out of her.
She got him busted and sent back to the States, so I got to be his stand-in
at the labor and delivery. Seeing the episiotomy "cured" me forever.

[GOPisEvil]

2. Oh, hell yeah - it's about time for this flame war again.

:popcorn:

My opinion, no, you're not selfish. Everyone has to make the choice that is appropriate for him- or herself.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

126. LOL!

:rofl:

[motely36]

3. You damn liberals!

Trying to kill off the human race!!!

Don't you realize that is the only reason you were put on this earth?

[MrScorpio]

4. I'm with you. People like that are idiots

Don't have kids and don't want them

And if I miss 'em, I'll borrow my baby bro's and send them back when I'm done.

Everyone is happy.

[blondeatlast]

5. No, not at all--and I've gotten much grief since I only had one.

Another shining example of "opinions that should be kept quietly to one's self."

There's a whole effing lot of that going around.

Sorry your coworker is an ass--there's a lot of that going around as well.

[Symarip]

8. I find it funny how people barge into your personal life because you see each other daily

I don't go into other people's offices and start ranting about the benefits of owning a Vespa. What the fuck?!

[MAGICBULLET]

43. I feel almost the same way

when people ask me when I'm getting married to my girlfriend, as if they're actually watching and waiting.

They always say the same stupid thing:

"So when are ya gonna make an honest woman out of her?"

I just roll my eyes at them everytime. I have nothing against marriage but can't 2 people living happily together be enough?

[mikeytherat]

6. Married 18+ years and no kids.

Remind people who object to your life that you are not "childless," you are "child-free." To those who insist, at this late date, that Mrs. Rat and I will someday have children, I tell them, "Only if we purchase them online."

mikey_the_rat

[unpossibles]

7. I think either choice is selfish

we're somewhat selfish apes, I have to admit. Wanting kids is no less or more selfish than not wanting kids, just perhaps a bit different.

As a fellow childless person by choice, I hear this all the time and have for a while now. I usually tell people that the reason I am not having kids is because I can lock my parrot up in a cage and cover him up when he screams.

[redqueen]

9. No, it's smart to realize this.

Too many people have kids because it's "what people do".

Idiots.

[LeftyMom]

10. The selfish thing is having kids you don't particularly want to meet social expectations.

That said, I've got an awesome big screen AND a rugrat, but people still give me shit for not having a whole herd. Once you've got a kid, people bug you to have another so the first will have somebody to play with, because apparently kids can't play with children who don't share their DNA or something like that. :eyes:

[mikeytherat]

13. Years ago a co-worker of mine mentioned that we needed to have at least two children

"so they can play with each other." Without missing a beat, I said, "Jesus! They're children, not pets!" Funny, she never brought up the subject again.

mikey_the_rat

[unpossibles]

54. haha. I make it a point to bore the hell out of people with pet stories

when they insist on telling me about their kids. Once in a while, it creates some amusing (to me) confusion as they wonder why I am telling them how cute my cat was last night while they are regaling me with tales of their offspring.

[lukasahero]

99. We're sending Christmas cards of our new pup this year

but only to those people who send us Christmas 'postcards' of their kids. (I have 10 years of pictures of kids I've never met!)

[jobycom]

14. Wow, profundity and brilliance in a Lounge post!

:thumbsup:

[rcrush]

11. I'm against the whole thing.

Getting married, moving to the suburbs, having as many kids as you can, and going into massive life long debt. I think the whole idea is stupid. There are people that think they havent succeeded in life until they are bogged down with kids and a family and living in that zombie suburb as a member of the homeowners association. Suburbia is going to destroy the country and I wont be a part of it!


Oh and marriage. FUCK MARRIAGE. FUCK IT!

[jobycom]

12. I think we'd all be safer if you didn't breed.

:P

I didn't want kids. My first was an accident, and I was in denial about it for months. Finally accepted the inevitable, and needless to say it was the defining element of my life, and the most joyous thing I could imagine. But it killed my academic career, and changed me in ways that the person I was then forsaw, and did not want. If I were still that person, I'd still not want them. The person I am now can't imagine life without my two.

So who cares what others say. Do what's right for you, and if that changes, admit the change and move on. If it doesn't change, enjoy that life. People are idiots who feel the need to make their own decisions everyone else's. (Kind of like people who hate tv shows and insult everyone else who likes those shows).

[SidneyCarton]

15. If you don't want kids...

you don't want kids. And hence, you probably shouldn't have them and should take any and all measures to avoid the situation, not only for yourself, but for the lives that would be placed in your hands if you did.

[Symarip]

21. It is for myself - maybe that is selfish

I don't even project far enough to think about who I'd be shitting on if I did have kids.

What irks me is the shear smugness people who say this shit have when they're addressing you. Like, "oh you'll see. You'll know what I'm talking about someday." Oh? I think not. Basically these saviours of our race are congratulating themselves because they went upstream, fucked and now have to raise a baby or ten. That's their choice and the wisdom they gain only benefits those who choose to do the same.

[SidneyCarton]

27. Frankly, I thank those who do not want children for not having them.

Parents who feel their children are an unwanted burden, do their offspring no favors.

If your reasons are selfish, who cares, the outcome is still acceptable.

[tigereye]

86. I never paid any attention until I was in my late 30s

people can and do change. But up until that time when I had my son, I had no desire to have em. No one should guilt trip anyone about it.

[IndianaJones]

16. marriage is like a coffin...each kid is another nail. nt

[Symarip]

17. Right click - save.

Good line.

[rcrush]

19. !

:toast: :yourock:

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

127. Wow.. I hope your not married if that's how you really feel about it.

[enigmatic]

18. no

And anyone who says that is an idiot.

[LuckyTheDog]

20. Not everyone wants kids

The problem is that some people who don't really want them have them anyway. Bad idea.

Having kids DOES require sacrifice. My wife and I could be living in a better house and going on great vacations if we were not parents. But, we knew what we'd be giving up when we decided to adopt after being unable to produce a kid the "old-fashioned way." And we're glad we did it.

If you decide that, for you, parenting is not worth losing the things you'd give up in order to get it, then by all means don't have kids.

[Midlodemocrat]

22. Nope. More selfish to have them if you feel that way.

simply because you've bowed to pressure. Having children takes an enormous effort and if you sincerely don't want them, I don't think that's selfish at all. I think it's prudent. I wish more people considered how much effort it is before they have them. There would be far fewer sad children in the world if they did.

[Orrex]

23. I would say no, but...

If your stance is "I don't want kids because I want a big tv instead," then you have to expect that you'll be accused of selfishness, however rightly or wrongly.

I suspect, though, that your real reason is "I don't want kids because I don't want kids," or something similar, then that's not selfish at all.


Except maybe to your parents, who will likely hound you on the matter to the end of their days.

[Symarip]

25. Actually, my answer really is what it is.

I don't want to deal with kids. I'm much more worried about my life and the things and people in it because unlike the hypothetical sperm-meets-egg that hasn't happened yet, I exist.

[Orrex]

28. 'I don't want to deal with kids' is a lot different from 'I want a big tv.'

The former is the essence of your stance IMO, while the latter is one of many ramifications of that stance.

And the former isn't selfish, either.


Generally speaking, though, I would suggest that it is selfish not to want kids if you've gotten into a marriage or longterm relationship with someone to whom you didn't express your views re: spawning. If that hypothetical other person was brought into the relationship under false pretenses finding out only later that you (the generic "you") never actually wanted kids after all, then that's selfish and dishonest.

But that's a much more specific case. If your general, personal intent is not to have kids, then that's not selfish.

[kentauros]

119. How about this, then: My time to myself (free time) is more important than raising children.

Children are yet another thing in life sapping away personal/free time. It's bad enough that I make a decent living at 40 hours a week only to have some sudden deadline at work that requires weekend or latenight hours. The childless redneck that used to work here got all upset with me once because I managed to talk the supervisor out of an overtime weekend (he lives for OT and milking a job.)

My time is precious and more important than yet another handful of children in the world.

At the same time (and another reason I don't want kids,) there are more than enough children here now. You'd think an intelligent society would strongly encourage adoption over brand new kids. But we all know how unintelligent this world is... ;)

[Orrex]

122. That's likewise different from 'I want a big tv'

It's a value judgment, and I have no right to call you selfish for it; it's simply not the choice that I made, with no selfish/unselfish label applied to it.


I'd say that the "too many children" angle rings kind of hollow, though. You may sincerely believe it, but it's not very convincing in an argument. No one, for instance, has ever said "I'm going to wear this condom because there are just too many kids in the world already, darn it."


Not that I need convincing, though--I already don't think that you're being selfish. :hi:

[LeftinOH]

24. Nope. However- producing kids just because its what 'everyone else' does,

or because its expected of you....is pretty stupid --selfish, even.

[ogneopasno]

26. No. In fact, my life could have taken many different turns and I would have been happy without kids

Having them has been wonderful. But I could have built a just-as-wonderful, if very different, life without them.

[Bucky]

29. I want lots of kids but those damn cops won't let me near the playgrounds any more

:hide:

[SeattleGirl]

30. Hell no.

I think it would be bad if someone DIDN'T want kids, but had them to satisfy someone else's warped idea of what it means to be married/an adult/a woman/a man/etc.

[Arugula Latte]

31. The only thing that makes me sad is that often

the people who don't want kids are very cool, smart and liberal (but they don't reproduce). Then at the opposite extreme are the fundy nutjobs who pop out boatloads of little fundy spawn, thus outbreeding the cool people.

[redqueen]

41. Isn't that the way Idiocracy started?

edit: nevermind... I see that was discussed below.

[Phoonzang]

32. The only problem with liberals not having kids is that the Morans will

eventually outnumber us. Ever see Idiocracy?

Maybe we can develop some kind of cloning technology where we can create fully grown liberals in a tank. Attack of the Liberal Clones. Wheeee!!!!

Yeah....too much caffeine.

[Arugula Latte]

33. Hey Phoonzang ... We posted similar thoughts at the same minute.

:hi:

[Symarip]

34. You two should spawn (nt)

[Arugula Latte]

35. I've already spawned twice.

I think my spawning days are done.

:D

[Phoonzang]

38. I'm only 28. If I have to spawn I'm waiting until I'm like 50. nt

[Deep13]

45. That has actually occurred to me.

That is why we need a liberal/progressive outreach program. Come on kids, you don't have to be a moran! Be cool like the Democrats!

[Jokerman]

50. "Idiocracy" was a documentary that was just ahead of its time. n/t

[old mark]

37. Since I was in grade school and started to figure out what

society was really all about, I have not wanted to brang any new people into it. I have not changed my mine at 61, andmy wife feels exactly the same way. In fact, m sister and 2 brothers have no kids of their own either - one brother has adopted 2 daughters.
I don't feel a bit selfish, and when I hear shit like this, I consider the source. Stupidity breeds stupidity.


mark

[NMDemDist2]

64. LOL

were we separated at birth??

Hubby and I (in our 50s here) same story except his sibs all spawned whereas I have no sibs

:hi:

[flvegan]

39. Considering that *want* is the basis of selfishness

NOT wanting something would be the epitome of selflessness.

-Dalai flvegan Lamadingdong

That's what I always like to use, solely for the exploding head factor. I'm long gone before they untwist it and wonder if I also thought that wanting kids was selfish, which of course I don't.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

40. good one!

I love exploding heads :D

I knew I hated babies from the time I was.. a baby!! I find them repulsive and, little feminist that I was, I also hated the way the only imaginable role for girls mommyhood. After you're a princess. From royalty to slavery, hmmmm...no thanks!

I've known too many woman who looked and sounded miserable, depressed about their crummy pink-collar job and the plans they had until the kids happened....and they always have to protest afterwards "but I love my kids!!" It always seems so sad to me.

[Fleshdancer]

48. score 1 for logic

you make too much sense Flvegan! :D

[RetroLounge]

89. "Dalai flvegan Lamadingdong"

Your porn-star name?

:hide:

RL

[kwassa]

42. You're not selfish, but you might be an Al Queda terrorist plotting ...

because no AMERICAN would EVER say something like that about children.


:nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke::nuke:

[Deep13]

44. You know we are down to our last 7 billion people!

How is it selfish? What duty can you possible owe to a nonexistent person? Unless your coworker takes the puritanical view that one should never be concerned about ones own self. That is a position I reject, of course.

[Xipe Totec]

46. Quite the opposite, actually,

it is by definition selfless.

[Fleshdancer]

47. no no no no NO!

I think people who rant about this are people who secretly wish they weren't parents. It's easier to lash out and insult people that you're jealous of.

As a parent, I honestly believe that if you go into it not wanting to do it, then it will be a long, hard struggle. While there are indeed a lot of positives, it does come with a whole complete set of negatives as well. At the end of the day, you know you best and your coworker should shut the hell up.

[raccoon]

103. Yep. Whoever said, "Misery loves company," sure nailed it. nt

[redqueen]

104. "people who secretly wish they weren't parents"

That is so very sad.

I don't understand that mindset at all... my heart breaks for the children of parents like that.

[MineralMan]

49. I just tell those folks that I'm not being selfish,

and that I'm very glad to pay my property taxes to support their kid's primary and secondary educations, my state income taxes to pay for their college educations, and other programs paid for with my tax dollars.

Since I don't have kids, I get taxed at a higher rate and have fewer deductions, so I can pay more to help support their kids.

That usually shuts them up.

I'm 63, now, and decided not to have children very early on. My wife is post-menopausal, and I don't screw around, so there will be no fruit coming from my loins.

I like kids. I fix the neighbors' kids bikes and keep an eye out for child molestors and the like. My house is an official safe haven, and has a sign on the door signifying that. I'll take anyone's kids fishing or show them how to make something. My wife and I mentor a 14 year old boy via Big Brothers/Big Sister.

But I don't have any of my own.

[Taverner]

51. No - you're selfish if you don't want kids but have them for appearances

[Bake]

52. Those of us who have kids think you should too ...

... so that you will suffer the same stresses that we do.

:rofl:

Seriously, it's your personal decision. Neither good nor bad.

Bake

[quakerboy]

53. Selfish is

To want children because its how you "get in" with your friends, your family, or church. Selfish is to want kids to stroke your own ego, to have a playmate, or because you didn't obey your gods commandment not to fuck, didn't think to use a condom/pill/shot/etc, and don't want to go to hell for having an abortion. Those are selfish, because they take you into far more regard than an innocent child.

Simply choosing not to have a kid because you would rather have a new TV, that may be selfish as well, but its not on the same level by any stretch. Or it could simply be good sense, knowing that you do not have either the drive or the ability to raise a happy healthy person.

For me, its selfish either way. I want kids because I want the rewards. But I also don't want the financial/time implications. When I throw in my fear of how the genetics would play out, It becomes an easy choice. I fully expect any child I had would natively be as much more devious and capable than myself than I am from my father. Or in other words, fully capable of achieving my childhood goals of becoming a master criminal in the brand of Moriarty(not joking. from as early as I can remember until I was 18, that was indeed my career goal. I had to lie a lot when people asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up).

[Taverner]

55. If you don't want kids DON'T HAVE THEM

I love my kids, and am glad I had them

But no one should feel obligated to have kids

No one should feel like their lives are incomplete without them

Have kids only if you want them

And tell me what its like on the outside, K?

[QueenOfCalifornia]

56. No...

But calling me a spawner is a "fuckstick" thing to do. It is like using the word "faggot" and I am certain that the gay community here would let you know how offensive that is. I do not appreciate the term "breeder" either. It is a negative term used that really offends me. My gay friends love to toss it around and were kind of shocked when I have informed them of how much it bugs me.

I think that belittling heterosexuals who have elected to raise children pretty fucking narrow minded.

I think that some people should never have children and should only have a TV... Lying to your dog is optional. It makes no difference to me if it is a selfish motivation or not. I waited until I was in my 40's to have my kids - I had the same old, tired crap spoon fed to me about about being "selfish" - what a crock of crap. Anyone who says this is an intellectual midget.

[Symarip]

58. Go into a crowded PTA meeting and yell 'spawner'

Then go into a crowded gay bar and yell 'faggot'.

I assure you, they are not the same.

[Pithlet]

75. You're right. It isn't the same.

But that doesn't mean it's not a derogatory term. A person is still being an asshole when they use the term.

[Symarip]

94. I have no problem with that. (nt)

[QueenOfCalifornia]

78. So...

As I expected. You believe that calling me, a mother, a "spawner" to be a PC term.

Un-fucking-believable.

Yell faggot or spawner... They are the same - If you see a restaurant with a sign out on the street saying "Welcome Spawners" let me know.

Fish Spawn.

Cows breed.

I am a human WOMAN and I made a conscious choice to be a mother. Spin it whatever way you want. It is an insult to people who elect to have a family.

You are the one who compares having a family with owning a TV. It is comparing dog shit to Shinola - incomparable.

I am not some crazed vigilante - Just a woman who deserves a little respect. I've earned it.

[Symarip]

92. As you expected?

Gilligan, I’ve said nothing about the political correctness of calling someone a ‘spawner’. In fact, I don’t think it’s politically correct at all. Though, I don’t really live in a world that is politically correct (nor would I want to). You are affirming your own conclusions with words I haven’t used. Maybe I simply find certain terms more acceptable than you do, especially in humorous rants about crazy coworkers trying to rule my life.

In my previous post, I was only pointing out equating one derogatory term with another is wrong. If your simile were accepted as truth than calling someone an asshole is the same as using words which belittle a whole race for hundreds, if not thousands, of years based on appearance. Hey, why not? They’re both offensive in their own right, so they must be the same.

It’s crazy anyone would say such a thing. The people I’ve met in the past who do need to make the world this black and white are usually doing so in order to fulfill their needs to feel just as victimized as others.

If I did offend you, in all sincerity, I’m sorry. But if you want me to change my mind, I don’t really find your argument compelling. If you think I'm a fuckstick for rather owning a television than having a kid, that's your perogative. And I am not offended in the slightest. I'm sure others feel the same. I will though, not use the term ‘spawner’ or ‘breeder’ again in any of my threads or posts. And I don’t feel the necessity to argue what is and isn’t offensive because we will simply disagree.

[lukasahero]

102. "Yell faggot or spawner... They are the same"

They are not the same. Neither one is nice or appropriate but they are in no way the same.

When the majority of people in the world are gay and hold positions of power and start killing people who have children, then they may be the same but since we both know that day will never, ever happen, let's admit they are not the same.

History and context mean something.

Not sure what you've done to "earn" the respect you request, but comparing some toothless insult to an insult that is often accompanied by hate crimes isn't proving it to me.

[Lucian]

57. Hell no it's not selfish.

I don't want any fucking kids either. I can't stand them.

[AlCzervik]

59. people that do not want kids should not have them. I have one and get shit for it

"why only one?" how about that's none of your fucking business?

Choosing not to have children is not selfish, it's your choice.

[Taverner]

62. Exactly

I mean, if the kid is unwanted, how is his or her life going to be?

But if the kid is wanted - imagine how that kid's life is going to be!

[Missy Vixen]

60. No

I think those that make the choice to not have children are realistic. I don't think I have the personality characteristics be a good parent; therefore, I did not have children. The only people who make a fuss over the decision are those who aren't happy with their own kids.

"It's different when they're your own"? I'll bet Susan Smith thought so, too.

Julie

[sarge43]

61. I didn't have children because I didn't think I'd be a good parent.

And no, I never had any real desire to have them.

Sosume.

[astral]

63. I think my not wanting children is certainly selfish

but not in a bad way. I simply have no maternal instincts and always knew I didn't want mommyhood. Friends and family would always tell me when I was young that I would change my mind. I had to get a few years past 30 for people to believe I knew what I was talking about.

It would be truly ideal to me if every child was a planned child. Other people do not seem to mind so much if a baby just comes along and then they go okay, time to switch gears.

So, people who don't want children sometimes, as me, do not really comprehend what that thing is about wanting to have them.

[Pithlet]

65. The truth is, you get shit no matter what choices you make.

I have two boys, and I've been asked more than once when I'm going to try for that girl. As if my family isn't complete, because surely I must be pining for a daughter. People who have more than two often get snarky comments like "Do you know what causes that?" People who have only one get asked if and when they're going to have another. Then there are the self righteous who want to put the world's ills on your shoulders if you have any children at all. What it boils down to is, people just don't know how to mind their own business.

[badgerpup]

66. I remember being in the ER with my ex-S.O...

...in the next cubicle was a SCREAMING child.
I'm not a total monster. I get that kids feel absofuckinglutely miserable when they've got a high fever or ear infection...and when you're non-verbal pretty much all you can do is scream...

But we weren't exactly there on a pleasure trip either (he had a kidney stone, and related infection with his own 100+ degree fever)and I was there as Loving Supportive (worried out of my skull) S.O. (with rapidly escalating headache and impending anxiety attack...thanks to the kid next door...I don't do loud noises well).

Then the owners of Screaming Child were making snide, self-righteous comments about how "Some people just don't like children".

Damn straight. That's why we don't HAVE them.

Neither of actually said that as we went up to the room to which he'd been admitted...but we later agreed that WAS the Snappy Comeback of choice...:grr:

[Pithlet]

71. Well, if someone was actually making their displeasure known, then can you blame them?

I mean, they couldn't do anything about their screaming child. They weren't exactly being self righteous if someone was actually complaining about their screaming child in the emergency room, now were they? If someone complained about my screaming child in an ER? I'd give them a piece of my mind, too. Stressful enough watching your child suffer. Having to hear someone else complain about the noise they're making? I'd snap.

[dixiegrrrrl]

67. Selfish= "for self". Not necessarily a bad word.

I am quite selfish about some things, very genrous about others.
Selfish is too often a word used to manipulate people..
Not everyone wants kids.
What's teh big deal?

Dunno why that is still an issue these days.

[NNadir]

68. If you don't want kids, don't have them.

The last thing we need on this planet is people who don't want kids having them.

[Lil Missy]

69. Not selfish. It was rude for this person to suggest such a thing. n/t

[Inchworm]

70. You win the gold for "Best use of a Derogatory"

:rofl:

Newsflash, fuckstick - I don't have kids and I don't want em.

:thumbsup:

[JimGinPA]

72. I Didn't Want Kids Either - Until My First Son Was Born...

It was a life-changing experience for sure. I couldn't imagine life without my kids now.

But I can relate.

[Radical Activist]

73. Having kids is selfish.

The world's resources are stretched thin by overpopulation and there are many children who need to be adopted. It's also selfish to annoy others in you neighborhood, in olive garden, and elsewhere with the children they didn't choose to have.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

125. Having kids isn't selfish (if done right) and neither is not having kids.

Do you consider your parents selfish for having you? Were all our parents selfish people? I don't think so, but that's just my opinion.

[Radical Activist]

128. I don't know anyone who had kids because

they thought they were doing some great service to the world by having them. They had kids because they wanted kids. Selfishly.

[KG]

74. 'sane' is the word that comes to mind when i think about people not wanting kids.

[billyoc]

76. I love people like your coworker. They live vicariously through their offspring,

following their every movement like some deranged stalker. Fun! :rofl:

[SarahB]

77. No. Family planning is a personal choice. Be secure in whatever choice you made. nt

[elleng]

79. NO.

.

[Robeson]

80. No.

[Sultana]

81. NO

Kids are not for everyone :)

I won't have to worry about the whole Santa Claus thing, my future kids will be muslims. :D

[WildEyedLiberal]

82. This isn't a real question so much as a quest for validation

Come on, do you really need to be reassured that you're not selfish for not having kids? Or did you just want to rant about this rude woman who presumed to make judgments about your personal life? I think you already know the answer to your question, and I don't think you need to bother seeking validation for your life choices.

[Jamastiene]

83. No, it is not selfish to not want kids.

The world is too overpopulated with people as it is. There is not enough basic sustenance to go around, not enough elbow room, and not enough oxygen for so many people.

Yes, I'm rather antisocial, but I thank you for not overpopulating the planet. It leaves more oxygen and elbow room for me. :P

[tigereye]

84. it's not selfish, but I for one as a parent don't appreciate the term

"spawners"


People who want to have kids, fine, people who don't fine, no harm, no foul.

[PeaceNikki]

87. I agree. Not selfish, but rude.

Calling people "spawners" is rude.

[tigereye]

88. I really don't like the term "breeder," either

someone had to have kids for there to be people.... well, for the most part. ;)



I love my kid. Being a parent is hard work, but kids are so interesting, watching them grow and mature.

[PeaceNikki]

91. Also agree.

:)

[drmeow]

118. Interestingly

in the mid/late 1800's, when a woman was pregnant, they sometimes said that she was "breeding"

[PeaceNikki]

121. Women also couldn't vote then. And let's not even START on what they called people of color.

It's not really THAT interesting.

[BarenakedLady]

85. No

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

90. If mankind was in serious risk of extinction by lack of reproduction -- yes.

As it is, no.

And you're not selfish if you DO want kids, either. Unless you're Jim Bob Duggar.

[mnhtnbb]

93. Are you selfish if you have kids? The earth doesn't need more population.

Family planning is a personal choice. Having kids changes your life--really changes it.
There are a lot of parents who shouldn't be parents. There are a lot of people who, even if they don't have kids, could find a way to contribute to making a child's life better without the commitment of raising their own.

[Tikki]

95. NO

NO


Tikki

[Mad_Dem_X]

96. No. And those that say you are are idiots. n/t

[TK421]

97. Wait...did they actually tell you it's selfish not to have kids?

Do you have an office job? I would staple their fucking lips and eyelids shut...see if they have anything to say about that!

[livetohike]

98. Well if everybody was jumping off a bridge, would she?

My husband and I are child free by choice (married nearly 34 years). I'm beyond caring what other people think I should do/have done with my life.

[undeterred]

100. Ollie wants to know if you're having the operation too.

[redqueen]

101. :)

[Symarip]

105. No plans are on the books

But there is a certain appeal to the idea of me being easier to manage while decreasing the chances of me running off when the screen door is left open.

[undeterred]

110. I'm told it will also reduce those bothersome thoughts

about finding a female or using someone's leg for a substitute. :hi:

[Symarip]

112. What if you're attracted to legs

And are using female's for a substitute?

Not that I am, but some may find your assumption VERY offensive.

[undeterred]

113. Wow, I never even thought of that.

There are so many things I don't understand about men :shrug:

[Symarip]

114. Please.

It's not like women come with an instruction booklet and a warranty if the one you have is defective.

[undeterred]

131. ...

[Symarip]

132. Hey now! There's not enough dials and switches

On the bottom panel.

[surrealAmerican]

106. That argument has never made any sense.

That said those of us who DO have children do not feel obligated to lie to them about Santa Claus or pretend they are smart. There are all kinds of ways to raise children, a parent is not required to behave as a stereotype.

[Schema Thing]

108. Now listen, Symarip Duggar Jr., this is your big brother Jim speaking..

... you know you're just lashing out because your seed aint got the famous family fertility. Now come on over and say hello to your new niece. If we don't answer, just come on in and play with the kids awhile, me and mrs Duggar will probably just be in the bedroom for a few.

[Iggo]

109. I raised one already.

I don't feel the need to make one.

[Iggo]

124. LOL...I think I misunderstood the question.

Oops.

:shrug:

[JimWis]

111. No you are not selfish. I see to damn many people with kids, who

if you watch them, you realize they apparently never wanted them to begin with. They either think it was some obligation to have them, or as I like to say - they haven't figured out yet what causes kids to happen. I think folks should have exactly the number of kids they really want to love and raise the right way - whether it be zero, one or ten.

[cordelia]

115. NO. Never did, never have.

I'd have had myself "fixed" at about 19 or 20.

Some people were not meant to raise children; I am one of them.

[musette_sf]

116. never wanted them

and got fixed when i was 25. considering i am female, and had never had children, this was not an easy accomplishment. just finding a doctor who would do it was a challenge in 1980. of course my then-husband had to sign off on it, i had to see a shrink, and i had to twist the insurance company's arm into paying for it. in other words i was treated as if i could not possibly make my own decision on this and i also needed male permission.

meanwhile, any pregnant 14 year old will be encouraged to have the baby by the forced-birthers, and many will encourage her to raise it too.

Bizarro World.

[WinkyDink]

117. No kids here. No regrets. And it's nobody else's beeswax that I chose not to add more humans to the

planet.

[drmeow]

120. When I tell people that I don't particularly like kids

and they respond that it would be different with my own kids, I point out that a child is not/should not be an experiment!

Is it selfish not to want to have a pet? There are lots of poor, mistreated, homeless, deserving pets out there. Isn't it selfish of someone not to open up their home to them?

To say it is selfish not to want to have kids suggests that not having kids harms or takes something away from others or society. To me selfish is wanting something and not wanting others to have that same thing (and, let me tell you, if there is only one piece of certain desserts left, I definitely selfishly want to have that piece and want to prevent anyone else from having it instead :) ). Not having kids does not prevent others from having kids. It does not force others to have kids. The only thing it "takes away" from anyone is it takes away being a grandparent from your own parents - but isn't it also selfish for parents to want their kids to have kids just so that they can be grandparents?

[lizerdbits]

130. "The only thing it "takes away" from

is it takes away being a grandparent from your own parents- but isn't it also selfish for parents to want their kids to have kids just so that they can be grandparents?"


Well said. My parents love being around my nephews but knowing what it takes to be parents have put no pressure on me whatsoever. If I had kids because I WANTED them they'd be thrilled. But as my mom said- "If you had kids you didn't want you'd just leave them at our house, and we're too old to do that full time."

[Rising Phoenix]

123. I always thought I wanted kids

now I'm not so sure.... I feel selfish, for wanting one....

[lizerdbits]

129. The last thing the world needs is more unwanted children

I find children annoying so don't have any and admire people with the patience to deal with them. Having them because everyone else has them, pressure from others, etc is sad and the wrong reason. 20 minutes around my nephews and I have infinite admiration for my parents for not leaving me on someone else's doorstep with a note.