Sure, but there's really no definitive answer to the question.

[nomorenomore08]

I get so raging pissed-off at myself sometimes, because even though I'm only 24, I feel like I've already missed out on a hell of a lot in life just by being so inept, especially socially. The worst part is that people (especially women) think I'm *such a nice guy*, and always want to be my friend despite my general introversion, but deep down I know I'm really not such a good person, and might very well mistreat anyone I was with. Lack of confidence/self-esteem, combined with anger issues, seems to be a real killer for me. And I don't know of any panacea, let alone cure, that doesn't come in a bottle, a rolling paper, or a pill.

The thing of it, though, is that I have friends who are just as fucked-up in their own ways as me, if not worse, and yet they've all managed to have some sort of relationship with the opposite sex, whereas I've never been able to get past (or bypass entirely) the "friend" stage. Maybe I'm just an ugly motherfucker, with my lack of interpersonal skills as the deal-sealer. :P

/Wah, wah, look at me, I'm depressed! :eyes:

[nomorenomore08]

1. Oops... meant to post this under the "Ever wonder why you're single?" thread.

I'm not groping for attention, I'm really not! I swear! :P

[JVS]

6. This is fucked up. I answered in this subthread in the other thread and my reply popped up here too

[taterguy]

7. I replied here and my posts pop up in the other thread

[JVS]

9. Well those people in the other thread sure are a bunch of lonely hearted saps, eh?

If they only knew the power of the booze.

[taterguy]

10. I wonder if this will work in other threads

Sure would save a lot of time

[begin_within]

12. I think this thread's title is the most poetic of any thread here in years.

[nomorenomore08]

13. It works for almost anything you can think of...

I mean, how many of the "big questions" in life really do have definitive answers? Maybe that's part of what makes them "big questions" in the first place.

[taterguy]

2. Booze is the answer

Lots of it

[nomorenomore08]

3. Ahh! A man after my own heart!

:hi:

[JVS]

4. Good to see you at work spreading the faith!

[nomorenomore08]

5. I'm already an indoctrinated believer. No need to proselytize me!

:)

[northzax]

16. beer goggles work both ways

just sayin' trust me, I'm a professional. I see both men and women punching WAY above their weight on a regular basis.

[Jamastiene]

8. Wow, we can recommend individual posts now?

Oh, God, you could have been describing me when you said, "I don't know of any panacea, let alone cure, that doesn't come in a bottle, a rolling paper, or a pill."

There are not enough drugs in the world for me. I always want more.

[Bucky]

11. You have to learn to compartmentalize your emotions, then suppress them with alcohol & cruelty

Also start smoking. It will make you cool and get you invited to secret parties.

[Bucky]

14. kik

:dem:

[TheManInTheMac]

15. What always worked for me was walking into the bar and licking my eyebrows. ;-)

[Bucky]

17. never post stuff like this on the internet

It never dies.

[MedleyMisty]

18. Are you my brother-in-law?

He's in his early/mid 20s and I don't think he's ever had a serious girlfriend. He is a nice guy, but he can be a bit overbearing sometimes. Also I think he tends to hang with his friends and doesn't ever really meet new people.

I can give you my observations, as a very introverted female who married an even more introverted guy who definitely has self-esteem issues, but I don't know if they'll help any.

Maybe it would help to think of it not as getting past the friend stage, but building on the friend stage. My husband and I were friends for a month before I asked him out, and he says that he had to think about it a while because he "didn't want to ruin the friendship." To quote Spock (lol) - he has been and always shall be my friend. Hell, I tell him he's my best friend two or three times a day usually.

And you know - I don't think we even held hands until we'd been going out for a week, and I think we'd been going out for maybe a month before our first kiss.

I don't know - you're right, there are no definitive answers. There are no rules, no formula, no set list of directions to follow to find your soulmate or even just a person for right now.

All I can say is that I found my soulmate by random happenstance, and I was open to it when it came. I didn't have expectations or a checklist or any preconceived frames that he had to fit. I just met this dude at college who was really cool and into the same things I was into and I could tell he liked me too so I asked him out - and in September we'll have been together for ten years and married for seven.

And of course you're going to mistreat a significant other - everyone does at some point. What matters is admitting to it and learning from your mistake and growing, and that can take a lot of practice and time. I guess it's just a matter of finding someone who is patient and loves you enough to put up with your mistakes and grow with you.

Good luck, and I hope you find that person.

[Bucky]

19. I'll never let you forget this.

ever.

[Bucky]

20. It's like God Herself doesn't want this thread to die

Every time I click on Lounge Page #21, there it is again! Nomorenomore08 just can't be that ugly.

[Bucky]

21. Is it just me?

Why do I see this thread every time I click on Page 21 in the Lounge? Is this an act of God or is there some function of DU that keeps this pointless thread even more pointlessly kicked?

[unpossibles]

22. Don't let it get to you; use it as a way to change what you don't like about yourself

I'm also considerably older than you are, but I used to feel the same way sometimes. What's funny is, when people ask me if I wish I were younger again, I tell them "hell no!" because I've learned to enjoy life more, be more confident, how to communicate better, and to trust my instincts more.

Nothing wrong with being down on yourself sometimes, but use it as a way to make positive changes in your life instead of wallowing in self-pity.

[Bucky]

23. Time will heal most wounds...

if only this thread would go away so easily

[Bucky]

24. Now I believe it is destiny that this thread live where all those sex and kudzu threads died.

God bless America and God bless DU.

[Bucky]

25. Again!