Humour for musicians

[IntravenousDemilo]

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale
correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

[begin_within]

1. That's awesome

[Richardo]

2. It's 'al fine'

:D

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

3. A couple quick jokes

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to do it and three to stand around and say "That's NOT the way Jaco would have done it."

How do you get the lead guitarist off your front step?
Pay for the goddamn pizza.

[bluesbassman]

4. A few...You know how to get a lead guitarist to stop playing?

Put sheet music in front of him.

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
Took the bass player half an hour to get him out.

How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He just stands there while the world revolves around him.

And last: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have a machine for that now.


:)

[FKA MNChimpH8R]

5. LOL!

Always glad to meet a fellow bassist!

For a great collection of musician jokes, surf on over to http://www.ducksdeluxe.com/jokes.html

Define a minor second
OK, two fretless bassists playing in unison.

[DarkTirade]

8. How do you define a major third?

Two violists playing in unison.

:P

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. Very clever!

:thumbsup:

[lizziegrace]

7. Hehe...

:)

[Xipe Totec]

9. PDQ Bach live

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY0CFaracVE

[leftyclimber]

10. OMG.

I was expecting the oboe-and-onion or the Brucker-vs-Hitler-Diaries joke or something.

That was pure genius.

:applause:

[Jamastiene]

11. I love it.

:spray:

[abq e streeter]

12. That's frikkin brilliant

[old mark]

13. GREAT! I was expecting something like:

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat miner.

mark
(another old bass player)