What's the least likely thing Larry King will ever say?

[Fenris]

Poll question: What's the least likely thing Larry King will ever say?

USA Today (you know, that dreadful newspaper with the colored pie charts and whatnot) at one time inexplicably published the bizarre and often unexplainable rantings of eight-time divorcee and noted turtle Larry King. Promoted as a "column," King's News & Views were more of a laundry list of the talk show host's inane opinions on arbitrary matters and frequent affirmations of known facts. The format of his musings were quite simple, following a pattern of "For my money, gang..." and "I don't care what anybody says..." introductions that were often more interesting than their conclusions. So let's imagine for a second what the least likely Larry King musing would be.



BTW, for the uninitiated, option 7 refers to this

[thebigidea]

1. pretty good, that caused a chuckle

as does the mere existence of Larry King - I'm completely at a loss to explain why this man has a tv program.

Is he supposed to be a good interviewer? I don't get it.

[Fenris]

2. 'Tis a mystery how that man has been able to stay on the air

He must be the absolute emperor of softball journalism.

[readmylips]

3. I'm a longtime friend of the Dick Cheney.....

and he gives me culo sex.

[kmla]

4. "Up next on CNN's Larry King live..... Who is this Robb character?"

"... and why is he such a dingbat? Be back right after these commercial messages."

[WoodrowFan]

5. "My God I'm Boring and Vapid..." (NT)

[Khephra]

6. "I'm Larry King and up next....(long pause, looks off camera)

Who the fuck is booking these guest? I mean, how many times do I have to fucking talk about Michael Jackson?"

[Fenris]

7. Kheph, if I see that before I die, my life will be complete.

[scottcsmith]

8. Any archived columns?

I'd love to write a Larry King parody. I tried finding an archive of his columns but was unsuccessful. Anyone know where there might be some of his columns? I have to get his writing style down. And I can guarantee at least one major laugh in my parody. Really. Also, I'm bored and need something to do.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

9. So, am I just wasting my life, here?