How sure were you that you wanted to get married? And, did it turn out to be a good decision?

[Dangerously Amused]

Were you...

A. Totally sure from the moment you got engaged, and never had a doubt.

B. Sure at first, then doubts crept in but you did it anyway.

C. Never sure, but figured you never would be sure, and thought it was at least worth a shot.

D. Pretty sure you didn't want to get married, but did it and hoped for the best.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Dangerously Amused...

My husband and I knew each other for just over a year before we married. We spent the first six months getting to know, and love, one another...

Long before our engagement, I was positive he was the man for me.

No doubts, none, ever.

We are still happily married, and our 44th anniversary will be this June.

We were open and honest with each other from the get-go, and this is essential for respect and love to flourish...

We've had our share of problems...who doesn't? But we've dealt with them, and are more in love now than we were in the beginning.

Does that help?

:hi:

[MrCoffee]

2. A, and it was the best decision I ever made

I have no idea how I tricked her into marrying me, but it worked!

:woohoo:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

3. I've got no regrets.

I knew I always wanted to get married. There may have been at least one other person that I did want to get married to but it just didn't work out, but that was that and there's no changing that. My wife is very supportive and loving and now we have a beautiful daughter. So I obviously have no regrets.

[REP]

4. Never wanted to get married ever ... am married

I never wanted to get married, be married, never had any fantasies of my perfect wedding ... which was a huge disadvantage when I did get married, since I planned the whole thing and had only three months to do it (no, no pregnancy or impending death; my now-husband, whom I'd been with for 14 years at that point couldn't wait any longer than that).

Why did I do it? It was sudden;y very important to him, and he's very important to me. I was planning on being with him forever, anyway, and while I don't like getting the government involved, the symbolism was important to him. I've never even heard of a guy as happy as he is to be married.

A good decision? It didn't really change anything between us - just different jewelry - but I don't regret it.

[lizziegrace]

5. None of the above

I loved him and was determined to make it work. I had doubts during the ceremony but didn't want to disappoint everyone. I kept looking for the man I thought he could/would be. That never materialized. What I just went through? He'd have disappeared. Better things to do than take care of me.

If you love the other person as they are, today, you'll be fine.

:hug:

[seemunkee]

6. Best decision I ever made

We been dating for 6 years, so once the decision was made we were both certain about it.

[HopeHoops]

7. A: Been together just over 24 years and coming up on 22 married.

She's my best friend and I've never had any doubts. I got lucky, I guess.

[Shell Beau]

8. I was 100% sure.

I was young, only 22, but I knew. I started dating my husband when I was 15. We did break up in college and dated other people. We always came back to each other. We have been married for over 7 years now. I know we have a whole lifetime ahead of us together. Sometimes you just know. We are best friends.

[Midlodemocrat]

9. Totally sure. Yes. Best thing I ever did.

[flvegan]

10. Who's the lucky fella, DA?

:rofl:

[azmouse]

11. I knew after the first date.

In April, we celebrate 22 years of a very happy marriage!

[skygazer]

12. Which time?

First marriage, I was definitely C. Never sure but figured I never would be so thought it was worth a shot. That lasted 7 years, we had 2 kids and we are still close friends. :shrug:


Second marriage, I was D - not just pretty sure but VERY sure I didn't want to but did it because I had run out of ways to say no. And knew the best would not happen. That lasted a year (after 7 years of living with the asshole) and ended when he finally went to jail on a drug charge and I could divorce him without being afraid he would kill me. And that children, is why you don't get into rebound relationships. :eyes:


Third marriage, A. I posted it here on DU, as a matter of fact, when I realized I wanted to get married. Then I told him. :P We got married a year ago but have been together for 7 and I feel very confident about this. :bounce:

[hippywife]

13. A.

People always told me they knew right away when they right one came along. I always thought it was bunk but it turned out to be true.

Met in a chat room on-line and married seven months later. Will be twelve years this summer.

So whya askin'? Something you want to tell us, huh? ;)

[trof]

14. Somewhere between A and D. It turned out REAL good.

Once I (finally) popped the question, I was committed.
At that point, it was what I wanted.
It took me a while to get to that point.

When I was in my early-to-mid 20s I just couldn't see me being married.
Ever.
I also didn't think I'd live to 30, but that's a whole 'nuther story.

I was a hot rock young fighter pilot, living the Playboy (magazine) lifestyle (in my own mind), nailing everything in sight.
:eyes:

And it was, as they say, a 'target rich' environment.
:evilgrin:

Miz t. says it was 'love at first sight' for her.
I'll take her at her word.
I always do.
:-)

Cut to the bottom line for me: When I found myself thinking up (stupid) reasons why I DIDN'T/SHOULDN'T want to marry her, I just stopped and thought 'Maybe you should try thinking about why you might WANT to marry her?"

The 'shoulds' vastly outweighed the 'shouldn'ts'.
I had hit that time in my life when I'd tired of the dating scene and was ready to settle down
It happens.

So I guess it was kind of a crap shoot.
But I rolled 7s.
Year after year.

One lovely daughter and two BRILLIANT grandkids later I'm still glad I did what I did.

Was this any help?
:shrug:

[MrSlayer]

15. My wife and I were together 7 years and had 2 kids before we got married.

We figured we might as well go ahead and do it. Neither of us were going anywhere. We did everything backward from "tradition" but it's worked out quite well for us. We're happy and our marriage is a lot healthier than any of our friends' who did everything the "right" way.

[Witchy_Dem]

16. A. 11 years married this past weekend.

No doubt about it.