What the historians neglected to tell you.

[LeftyFingerPop]

The Gettysburg Address

Four score and seven years (burp) ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in (BURP) Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great (BURPPPPPPPP) civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great (BREEEEEEEEEEEP) battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place (BUREEEEEEEE) for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this...

*After the address, President Lincoln was overheard whispering to a staff member "Next time, motherfucker, make goddamn sure that I have a glass of water at the podium. instead of Diet Pepsi".

[taterguy]

1. Why would Lincoln want a Southern beverage during the Gettysburg Address?

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. He was stoned out of his fucking mind.

[av8rdave]

3. I always loved Gary Larson's take on that address

You're looking over Lincoln's shoulder as he delivers it, and you can read his notes:

And so the bartender says, "Hey! That's not a duck!"

(Wait for laughter)

Four score and seven years ago...

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. Hahahaha!

Love it! :rofl: