Is the lounge too clique-ish?

[Shell Beau]

Poll question: Is the lounge too clique-ish?

I debated whether to post this or not. I am fine with the way the lounge is personally, and I don't want to get a flame war started. Please do not turn this into one. But after thinking, I decided I would like to know what people thought. And a poll is the best way to get an honest answer. Forgive me.

[Bicoastal]

1. I dunno...what do the cool people think?

:P

[Lady Effingbroke]

2. Always has been, always will be. Just the nature of the beast.

Cliques come and go; some last longer than others.

[sniffa]

3. Not enough

Everyone who's going to be in on the new inside joke, check your pm.

[no name no slogan]

43. I just checked my inbox and there's nothing there. What's the big dea-- OHHHHH...

:cry:

[sniffa]

70. Ah, you missed out on the conference call

When a member of our clique says, "check your PM" they really mean, "check your FB."

I can't say much more lest the inside joke be ruined.

[mainegreen]

4. Don't know, don't care.

You don't last long here, usually, if you do care.

Last long enough, though, and you inevitably are defaulted into the clique of 'crazy loonies who've been hanging around the lounge to long clique'

[The Straight Story]

5. Yeah, so is GD sometimes though too. Folks here in lounge don't like me

and folks there don't either :rofl:

[LeftyFingerPop]

11. I've always liked you

:)

[The Straight Story]

13. Yeah, but you're a guy so don't count

;)

[no name no slogan]

23. That's okay. I don't like anybody

I lead a very sad, bitter, twisted existence.

[The Straight Story]

27. I think that is required to be a member in good standing in the lounge

:)

[no name no slogan]

41. If it isn't it probably should be

:hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

99. Oh, bullshit. You love me. Admit it.

:rofl:

[elshiva]

6. Click, click, clickety, clickety, click

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. Only if you're not one of the Cool Kids

Duh.

Actually, I think despite some episodes of flat out fucking insanity, the lounge appears to be getting along quite well.

[Shell Beau]

12. See, I agree. Of course I am not here for all of the craziness,

There are some here that people don't like. Usually it is warranted.

But, if someone is always nice to me, and unless they post something truly offensive, then I just sit back and watch.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

24. I love getting in on the crazy threads

But I am trying a new practice of ignoring people who are psychotic to me. That's a very short list, though.

[Shell Beau]

28. And I have also seen the reverse clique thing going on.

People will jump on some people just because they seem to be popular. I see that with you sometimes. I see people quick to jump on you at times.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

32. Yeah, I take most of that in stride

They just have crushes on me, but express it poorly.

:rofl:

[Shell Beau]

38. I thought they all crushed on you too!

They really need to work on their skills. I mean this isn't first grade where you are mean to the one you like! :P

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

44. The funny thing is, I actually went into my "you just have a crush on me" thing with a GD:P poster

And I eventually got them totally cracking up.

They actually bring it up sometimes, about how they totally disagree with everything I post, but I made them laugh, so I'm okay.

[no name no slogan]

45. Don't bug me. I watching mockingbirds fly over the rainbow bridge

:eyes:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

51. You can thank this guy for that!

Checking out the best place to hunt songbirds...


Relaxing after a long day of murder...

[DeepBlueC]

78. I guffawed

Thanks for that ... I needed it. :D

[SoxFan]

147. War Criminal

[Shell Beau]

66. My cat is on that bridge! Watch out!

:P


BW knows I love him. Even though I can't say I agree with some of the things he says.

[GOPisEvil]

8. The answer to this depends on your point of view.

From the position of an outsider, I can definitely see how this place could appear very cliquish.

There are groups of friends here that have their inside jokes, and that's really fine by me. I usually just pass that stuff by, since it isn't meant for me. But I remember days that I used to have relationships like that here in the lounge, so I can't really speak negatively of actions I took myself.

Now, if you ask me if the lounge is is the same as it once was, I will answer that it is not. Better or worse is subjective, but it is different.

[Shell Beau]

15. It is the same but it isn't at the same time.

[GOPisEvil]

26. There are some similarities. But it's different.

[Shell Beau]

30. Is it something you can describe?

[GOPisEvil]

40. I think it has more to do with sheer size.

There's a lot more people here than there used to be, so it was easier to get involved in more things. Also with more people comes more to sift through to find something I want to comment on.

I'm not really complaining. I still come here to visit and I find it interesting. I just end up passing by and ignoring more things than I used to.

[Shell Beau]

48. I do think there are more "ignore" worthy posts now a days I guess.

[salin]

157. *chuckle* admit it - at one time (and the same time)

we were the "cool kids", the place was small so not quite as cliquish - but we were "insiders" back in the day.

That point made, I agree with all else that you say. :D

I have just started checking in again (after a very long haitus from the lounge), mostly to cross paths with old friends - and as such I don't even catch/notice the current dynamics/inside jokes, etc. As such it doesn't bother me as an "outsider." I don't even have a clue as to who the insiders (or clique's) are - which makes the whole experience, now that the community is much larger, a bit more pleasant. If you are ignorant of aggrevating parts of the experience (this experience being hanging out in the lounge), than there is no aggrevation. "I'm cool with that" (ala the diggable planets.)

[REP]

9. Not nearly cliquish enough by half!

Someone accidently responds to my posts every now and then, and that has just got to end.

[Shell Beau]

33. I know!

Oops! I meant to respond to someone else!

;) :P

[Missy Vixen]

94. Hey! Let's form our own gang!

We can respond to each other's posts. :woohoo:

[Mike 03]

10. Unsure. This place always seems pretty friendly to me. NT

[OmahaBlueDog]

159. That is because you are the epitome of friendliness..

...and a wealth of cinema knowledge

[BarenakedLady]

14. No! Yes! No! Yes!

I shall answer this question by an interpretive smilie dance...


:wtf: :silly: :crazy: :think: :beer: :toast: :wtf: :nopity: :think: :beer: :beer: :bounce: :woohoo: :applause: :rofl: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :( :( x( :puke: :boring: :hangover:

Fin.

[mainegreen]

18. I like how your dance ends with vomiting, crashing, and waking up with a hangover.

:thumbsup:

[BarenakedLady]

25. That's how all my dances end.

:beer:

[Inchworm]

39. LoL

:rofl::rofl:

Good eye.

:rofl:

[Shell Beau]

50. Yeah, but everybody loves your ass.

And by your ass, I totally meant your ass! :P

[BarenakedLady]

53. What has my ass been doing now?

I swear, I take my eyes off it for one minute...

[Dr. Strange]

55. How do you DO that?

Take your eyes off of it, I mean. We've been talking about it, and try as we might, we just CAN'T take our eyes off of it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

96. What I want to know is --

How does she see her ass in the first place? :crazy:

[Shell Beau]

67. It has been up to some crazy shenanigans let me tell you!

But it has had some fun!

[DeepBlueC]

83. that is a work of art!

Brava :fistbump:

[BarenakedLady]

84. *bows*

I'll be here all week.

Don't forget to tip your waitress.

[no name no slogan]

16. I would tell you, but I don't remember if you're in my clique

:shrug: I can't keep track anymore.

[Shell Beau]

19. Uh, HELLO!!! I am in ALL cliques! It is best to remember that!

:P

[MrPerson]

17. The ones making the jokes are in the clique.

[madinmaryland]

47. +1

[Danger Mouse]

20. Yes.

But it's not a big deal.

[MrPerson]

21. Unless you get flamed by the same 20 people all the time.

[Danger Mouse]

31. Certain people do travel in groups.

I will defend some people more than others.
Certainly, I would be right there if somebody was messing with BNL, Lavender, or Rev.

[BarenakedLady]

35. Awww

Now why would anyone be messing with lil' ole me?

O8)

:hug: :loveya:

[Danger Mouse]

Not that anybody would...

but I'd definitely be first to defend you.
Just so you know.
:hug:

[Shell Beau]

52. You better add Shell Beau to your list.

I am not sayin', I am just sayin'!

:P

[Danger Mouse]

57. My going rate is 50 bucks a post.

For 'protection.'

[Shell Beau]

62. Shit man! What if I add you to my list instead?

Times are tight and all! :P

[Danger Mouse]

72. I will help you out, as a favor.

But some day, and this day may never come, I will ask a favor of you in return.

[Inchworm]

54. *messes with BNL*

neener neener

:hi::hi:

:yoiks:

[BarenakedLady]

58. Uh oh!

You've done it now.

Stop pickin on me!!!

:cry:

:hi:

[Inchworm]

63. You have boobs!

neener neener!

I don't!

teehee

*giggle*

:silly:

[BarenakedLady]

68. I beg to differ.

You have moobs. Or as no name no slogan so eloquently put it "danglebags".

[Inchworm]

75. Ohhhh! I thought danglebag was...

entirely different.

:blush:

[BarenakedLady]

76. So did I!

:rofl:

[Danger Mouse]

60. Oh HELL no.

It's on now.

[Inchworm]

64. umm.. err.. huh?

wha?

:hide:

















:rofl:

[RevolutionaryActs]

81. ...

:loveya:

[Midlodemocrat]

100. +1

[madinmaryland]

49. They are called the "swarm"

[Danger Mouse]

59. Bzzzzzzz

[datasuspect]

104. and they're pretty consistent

they all must be reading from the same excel tracking sheet.

you can set your watch by them.

[sniffa]

152. Now that he's gone

whose sock was MrPerson?

[triguy46]

22. 2 cliques:

The ignored and the ignorees. No matter how hard the latter try to fit in, it just doesn't happen. Even when an ignored posts killer "cute" pictures, the ignorees ignore even more. Just watch:

[mainegreen]

29. Awwwwwww.

Oh shit, does that make me one of the ignored?

Dammit. x(

[triguy46]

34. No. You are supposed to put me on ignore in spite of the extreme cuteness

[TZ]

37. I'd never deliberately ignore you...

I just don't see you around much. But I've always enjoyed your posts..AND those kities you posted are ADORABLE!

[Shell Beau]

36. I only know one poster who could ignore that cuteness!

:loveya:

[Dr. Strange]

42. I would say no...

but I think I can easily see why someone might think it is.

[TZ]

46. I used to think so.

But I think while there are "clique-like" groups, I think most are more than willing to interact with anyone...I have yet to see anyone ignored because they were simply new, unless they were behaving in assholish ways.
In my mind a clique is a group that doesn't wish to interact with others. And while there are definitely people I don't interact with occasionally I will comment to them or vice versa.
I think that what happens is people have real friends here, if if they see a friend getting treated in what they feel is an unfair manner they will stick up for that friend. I think thats human nature.
And Shell, good job..You have managed (so far) to do a good job with a pretty sticky topic here.

[Shell Beau]

61. This is a sticky subject.

And I consider myself friends with many here. The poll was because people could vote anonymously if they felt it needed to be so. I don't feel it is clique-ish in a bad way. Of course, some people bond and get along great. And those will stick together. I always take up for my friends. Maybe even sometimes when they are wrong. But that is life. That is true.

I agree. I really only see people jump in (usually) when it seems to be warranted. Of course I am not here 24/7. I know that you and BB are close. That doesn't make me feel like I am an outsider to y'all though. It just makes me feel that y'all have a close bond. And I think that is awesome.

[madinmaryland]

82. Interestingly,

your first observations of cliques are probably correct. Though I suppose as people drift into said cliques they don't realize it.

:shrug:

[datasuspect]

106. there is a BIG difference between sticking up for a "friend"

and coordinated action to get members banned.

[redqueen]

124. Do you seriously think there is coordinated action to get members banned?

I've heard that kind of complaint since the primaries, and it seems pretty out there.

[datasuspect]

132. well you never know if people are joking

but it does seem curious that the same people show up wherever shit is slung.

[redqueen]

139. Joking by saying "I'm going to try to get you banned"?

That kind of joking?

[datasuspect]

142. my spidey senses are tingling

do say more.

i love lounge PM intrigue.

it's always interesting to see the fruits of unhinged minds.

LOLZ narwhals.

[redqueen]

144. I'm just curious what kind of joking leads you to believe that.

Like I said I remember a bunch of complaints about that during the primaries, and it seemed equally out there to me then... so I'm curious what could make a person think that was going on.

[datasuspect]

145. this is starting to smell too much like lounge intrigue

i don't get very many PMs, but now they are piling up.

the hunter becomes the hunted. this is getting too close for comfort.

666-0

NARWHALS LOLZ

[redqueen]

146. Hahahaha

Oh the DRAMA!

:rofl:


on edit: HEY! Why ain't I gettin any PMs? x(

[realisticphish]

56. no

some people have little groups, and in-jokes, but this is a message board, not real life. Everyone can read everyone else's posts. No one can exclude another from the conversation. If you have something to contribute, you're welcome. Of course, I'm been here for 5 years, so maybe I'm just comfortable now :shrug:

[BeachBaby]

65. For the most part, no....

I think there is a big difference between a "clique" and formed friendships.

I know that there are several people here who have formed friendships - and over time, it turned into a group of people who mess around with each other. I don't see that as a clique - I see that as a bunch of people who enjoy each other's company.

The only time I would define a group as a "clique" is when that group will not allow others to engage in their conversations. I've seen that here - but it's very rare.

[Shell Beau]

71. That is mostly how I feel.

For instance, when you have such a fun person as Midlo, a lot of people are drawn to her. She is sarcastic, funny, silly, all of that. Many people can connect to that. So she has a lot of friends here. Not everyone has that kind of personality. So I feel I know her better than others. I may be more likely to post in her threads. :shrug:

Sorry, Midlo! Had to use you as an example! Since you know you are the ringleader! :rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

98. Thanks, Shell.

I think????

[Shell Beau]

105. Of course!! Everyone here loves you! Ok, most everyone here loves you!

You are too much fun not to love!!!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

86. That's how I would define a clique too

And a lot of the people in my "clique" are people I've met at least once.

[UTUSN]

69. Heck --------- a fricking --------- *PASSPORT* -------- is needed to get in!1 n/t

[Shell Beau]

73. May I see yours please?

;)

[Amerigo Vespucci]

74. Cliques can BITE me. A man with a posse don't need no steenking CLIQUES...

...my posse knows what I'm talking about.

:evilgrin:

[mtowngman]

77. It is what it is

Seems like names change but the game's the same. There have been cliques for as long as I've been here.

Doesn't bother me at all. (I'm un-clique-able)

This group seems a bit more confrontational, maybe residual from election season, but this too shall pass.

[MissMarple]

79. Friends and comarades, welcome, accepts new and seldom posters. Hey Zomby, can I get some coffee?

Well, chardonnay would be better. :)

Zomby is still here, right????

Hoo boy, I misspelled Zomby. Go figure. :shrug:

[Zomby Woof]

151. I'll serve you chardonnay in a coffee cup

How's that? ;-)

[MissMarple]

156. Perfecto.

:) Thank you very much.

[VMSMI]

80. I don't like cliques.

But it's 11:00 PM, EDT.

Do you know where your Hardball is?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

87. Is Hardball your nickname for Mr. Person?

[RagAss]

85. I wouldn't be in a clique that would have me anyway !

[Iggo]

88. Never noticed.

So I guess "No".

[mentalsolstice]

89. It is clique-ish. The more important question is if it's bully-ish.

And I don't know how to answer that. I've experienced true bullying as a child, but not as an adult, and certainly not here. Everyplace you go where there is a large amount of people will have cliques. Actually I think anything over 10 people, you'll start to see a fractioning off into "groups", which is not necessarily a bad thing as long as the larger group can still come together for the greater good...The whole is greater than its parts sort of thing.

ETA: I majored in psychology with a minor in sociology...cantcha tell?

[Lucian]

90. I'm a one-man Kliq.

Oops, I mean clique.

[ghostsofgiants]

91. Haven't we been over this a million times?

[Shell Beau]

108. Yes. But here lately the lounge has gotten funky.

I am just wondering if we need to try and change it a little. :shrug:

[WildEyedLiberal]

92. In some ways, yes

There are a handful of posters here, for instance, who get away with being fairly big assholes because they've managed to become friends with a fair amount of the regular posters here, or because they've been here longer than dirt. They get away with saying some nasty things that I know for a fact would earn someone with 40 posts a pizza, or at the very least, a huge flamewar. Other than that, not really. I don't mind the inside jokes and whatever because those sorts of things happen when the same group of people talk to each other a lot. :shrug:

[Texasgal]

93. The problem is

that my clique disbanded last year and I am lost now among cliques I've never heard of. :P

[Shell Beau]

110. Yeah, some of the old school cliques are gone!

[ornotna]

95. Breaking news!

[Sky Masterson]

97. DU in itself is a clique

clique
Main Entry: clique Listen to the pronunciation of clique Listen to the pronunciation of clique
Pronunciation:
\ˈklēk, ˈklik\
Function:
noun
Etymology: French
Date: 1711: a narrow exclusive circle or group of persons ; especially : one held together by common interests, views, or purposes

There are several groups of friends who love to interact with each other here(as it should be in any online community).
Most of the ones whom I have been closest to in the past have moved on or rarely post anymore. But that's cool. The ones I am most clique-ish with I communicate with other ways.
When I came back under a new name I noticed that "I" as a Newbie was treated different.Even by people who would never react to me the way they did.It made me feel sad for the newbies who come here.It's hard to wedge into the conversation sometimes and get your DU legs.
When no one knows who you are. It taught me a new respect for low count posters.

All in all I think it goes in cycles. Pretty soon the loud will quiet down, The spammers will have less to say,and a new group will float to the top.
It's the circle of life :D

[redqueen]

126. I like your answer.

Especially about the newbies. I like welcoming newbies. :)

[Sky Masterson]

148. Thank you

:) :hi:

[Believing Is Art]

101. I just got here

I'm doped out on beer, Ambien, and Zyrtec. Will I fit in?

[datasuspect]

102. it's not the cliqueishness that's the problem

it's the banality and the loudness/ubiquitous nature of the voices expressing it.

jesus, if you guys are going to constantly call each other out, make it interesting, funny, or witty. SOMETHING.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

109. yeah. i liked when lounge flamewars were clever

people dont even make an effort anymore

[datasuspect]

113. i've always wanted to be an interloper here

and in time, i have met in person several DUers (who are really cool), but they don't post here as much anymore.

but yeah, no pic threads about it, no constant calling out to them in thread titles.

in fact, i really don't want my personal life to merge too closely with this place. there are some truly vindictive, nasty people here. and then there are the freepers.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

116. yes, some of threads should be pm's. we dont want to be voyeurs in other people's

dysfunctional friendships/relationships all the time. all the time.

[datasuspect]

117. all. the. FUCKING. time.

it's what inspires me to spam the lounge sometimes.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

118. i know. its funny when you do it because it feels like an act of protest

very activisty of you :)

[PeaceNikki]

123. I support this entire sub-thread.

:thumbsup:

[datasuspect]

125. i support your support

[PeaceNikki]

127. I find your support a bit clique-ish in nature.

:P

[datasuspect]

129. if you don't stop, i'm going to put your username in my sigblock

[Tuesday Afternoon]

128. yum -Spam

:9

[Tuesday Afternoon]

103. Gumbo Ya-Ya

[La Lioness Priyanka]

107. everyone new comes to du and complains the lounge is too cliqueish

then they make friends and defend that its just their friends and not a clique

the lounge is of late very stupid. not silly. just stupid.

ironically as i accuse others of being stupid i spell new as knew. sigh

[datasuspect]

111. it's got the dumb fo sho

[Shell Beau]

120. haha! Well we are all human!

;)

[MineralMan]

112. I am the Clique of One

Everyone else is dead to me.

[HERVEPA]

114. Name Removed

Was not part of dominant clique.

[guitar man]

I have no idea

I never get to spend enough time here anymore to be able to tell :silly:

[MissMillie]

115. Probably, but I have my friends here and don't really care

whether or not we're all part of the popular group. Good friends are good friends, whether they're popular or not.

[cwydro]

119. I don't think it is all that clique-y

I mean it is obvious there are folks who are friends IRL, but I see no problem with that.

There are plenty of peeps who seem just to post on their own and are lone wolves out there, just as I am.

[Amaya]

121. yes it is

the lounge glory days are over...
and i don't post much anymore because i feel most of the conversations are dull and redundant.

there i said it and now i'll back to my cave.

[redqueen]

122. Not that I've ever noticed. Ever.

Maybe I just don't pay enough attention... but even when the admins had to put certain people on forced ignore and all that kindergarten 'DON'T MAKE ME SEPARATE YOU!' idiocy... even *then* I hardly noticed who was on what side... or maybe I just didn't care.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

130. actually i think the admins make too big a deal of forced ignore.

if i want xyz and myself to go on forced ignore because i know a problem will escalate, they should just allow it. i had to beg for months and the problems got systematically worse before the admins decided it was time for forced ignore. had they just let me have it when i requested it, and not treated me as a child, then maybe it wouldnt be a case of 'DON'T MAKE ME SEPARATE YOU!' idiocy

[redqueen]

134. Well obviously I wasn't referring to your situation.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

137. i know you werent and i wasnt trying to imply that you were, i am just saying they

should treat people like adults and then maybe they wouldnt have to babysit us so much

[redqueen]

140. Excellent point.

I had no idea they were so hesitant to use it. One wonders why...

[La Lioness Priyanka]

141. trust me, one has to beg for it, for months before they will do it.

i know for a fact that another user has been begging for close to a year before they gave her this option.

seems silly to me. who better than the person affected to tell you that they dont want to see someone elses post?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

133. What's actually funny is the one time I got put on forced ignore with somebody

I already had them on ignore. After the forced ignore, I could suddenly see all their posts, but they appeared on my ignore list twice.

[redqueen]

136. How bizarre...

I must admit I was super curious to know who was treated that way when it was all going on. :P

[supernova]

131. I don't think so

I would think it was if the Lounge or parts of it were openly hostile to others here who don't post in the Lounge very often or who are newbies. But I haven't seen that. Granted I'm not as talkative as I have been in the past at the moment.

There are groups of people here who prefer to "talk amongst themselves" but I don't think that's too insular, especially beacuse many of us have met offline. I pretty much talk to whomever takes my fancy at the moment. I never feel like I don't belong here. And that is something that is a common experience for me in my offline life... less so as I get older (thank goodness!) but I feel freer in the lounge than many other places either cyber or real.

:grouphug:

[backtoblue]

135. So I'm still new and all, but

isn't the Lounge a clique of its own? I haven't encountered any snobbishness, but I have commented on inside jokes and feel like a total dork after realizing it. :dunce:

[Midlodemocrat]

138. I'm sorry. I cannot respond to you appropriately until you have at least 1000 posts.

:rofl:

:hi:

[backtoblue]

143. pfft...

:rofl:

[MrScorpio]

149. How would I know?

I'm not one of the cool people

[Tuesday Afternoon]

158. no...

You are The Coolest. You are a very smooth Operator.

[Gormy Cuss]

150. The lounge has cliques like any junior high.

Is it too cliquish? No, because there are a lot of us who hang out here without being bothered by the tightly-knit groups. The only time it's problematic is when the flame wars erupt. Some weekends it's like West Side Story in here.

[LeftyFingerPop]

153. Yes...but the cliques are not what the problem is. n/t

[KamaAina]

154. Nice post, Midlo!

:P

[tigereye]

155. I think there are simply groups of folks who know each other well (online and

IRL in some cases)but most of the time there seems to be room for all.


This isn't junior high, after all.