Office Christmas Present

[hamsterjill]

Dear Boss's Wife,

I know you were probably pissed when your husband, my boss, made YOU go and shop for a Christmas present for me. But, honestly, dear, do you really think I would be caught dead in THAT thing? Have you EVER seen me wear ANYTHING like that thing? Have you ever seen anyone younger than seventy years old wear anything like that thing?

Next year, sweety...two words....: Gift Card



Just has to let it all out. Merry Christmas to all!

[Brickbat]

1. The first job I had, one of the salesmen and the office manager had a weird mutual work crush on

each other. At the Christmas party at a very cool restaurant, she gave him a plastic boob to put on the top of a pop/beer can. It was the most amazingly inappropriate thing I had ever seen. I was 22 and drunk and I remember thinking, wait, this is what being a grown up is about? What the?

Tell me your present was an appliqued sweatshirt. Yes!

[Kali]

2. do a couple shots of something and then put whatever it is on and then

for gods' sake POST A PICTURE HERE IN THE LOUNGE11!!!!111!!!1

[WorseBeforeBetter]

3. A former asshole boss (via his wife) gave me a Cheap Shit from China cookie platter...

and Moravian cookies (broken up canisters, not the set of three). To make matters worse, the platter appeared to be a re-gift. This was a guy making about $200K per year. I donated the platter to Goodwill along with a bunch of other stuff...maybe do the same with the sweater?

Merry Christmas!

[tammywammy]

4. So far at this job every present I've gotten from my boss he's picked out.

I've been here since the end of July. For Christmas it was a stuffed reindeer cookie jar thing, very cute. When he's out on business trips he picks me up a little gift like a magnet.

[tmyers09]

5. At least it wasn't a 1 year membership

to the Jelly of the Month Club. (the gift that keeps on giving the whole year round)

Or it could have been nothing at all.

Remember when I was toying with the idea of suspending Christmas bonuses?

Oh you DIDN'T. OF ALL THE CHEAP LOUSY WAYS TO SAVE A BUCK!

That's pretty low Mister. If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you...

[tammywammy]

6. ....

[tmyers09]

7. YES!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear? But a miniature sleigh, and...and Eddie. With a man in his pajamas...and dog chains tied to his wrists and ankles WHAT THE HELL?

[tammywammy]

8. I just watched that movie a couple of hours ago

I think I'm gonna get my dad these glasses next year



http://www.redriderleglamps.com/productDetails.cfm?merchID=237&showDescription=yes


Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

[tmyers09]

9. Right now, he's starting out his career.

College?

Carnival. Right now they got him spreading pixie dust on the tilt-a-whirl. He figures next year, he'll be guessing people's weight, or barkin' for the Yak Woman.

*Breaks the wood structure he was trying to fix*


On a funny note, my mom actually had one of those same ones. It was like a windmill type thing.

[tammywammy]

10. Is your house on fire, Clark?

No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

[Skittles]

11. thank her, and give the gift to someone who will appreciate it

and count your blessings while you're at it

[hamsterjill]

12. Done!

Thank her: check

Give the gift to someone who might enjoy it: check

Count my blessings: On a daily basis...

[Skittles]

13. awesome

now THAT is, er, "the spirit" :D