In light of Skipper Harris' death, I have to ask, whose Dad is still alive?

[cherokeeprogressive]

And, how will you feel when he's gone?

To this day, I feel like I never got "my due", from my Dad. One example I can point out is the day I got my Designated Subjects Teaching Credential from the State of California. I got it solely because of my abilities, not my education, and when it was placed in my hand by the Principal of the school where I had been an Instructional Aide (now called Para-Educator) for three years, I swelled up like a toad.

I called him that day, when I got home. I never told him that getting the credential was a possibility, because I wanted to surprise him with a positive result rather than get his hopes up over a possibility. So I called him and gave him the news that in less than two weeks I was going to be teaching 20 hours a week, and that would increase to 40 over time.

"Did you hear that your sister got a raise? She's making $16.00 an hour now, isn't that something?!" was his response. This was back in 1994.

I spent my school years in a CA program called MGM, which was an acronym for "Mentally Gifted Minors". I still remember when I was selected for participation in the third grade. "He's not THAT smart" was what I heard him tell my mom when she read the letter to him after my sister and I were excused from the dinner table.

A little about my Dad... In my life, I've seen him succeed at anything and everything he ever attempted. I've seen him build patio furniture after looking over a fence and deciding that he wanted what the neighbors had in THEIR back yards. I've seen him literally re-wire a 1973 Chevy Blazer once when we were on vacation, and were stranded in Cody, WY at a rest stop. He hitchhiked to town and bought rolls of wire to do it. I've seen him hunt, fish, chop wood, build an amazing deck on the side of his house in Idaho, stop a fight outside of a dive bar, and watched him struggle to learn how to use the internet because he refused my help. Now, if he wants to, he can find anything and everything he wants to know.

It took a long time, but I've come to understand his resistance when it came to showing love, giving compliments, and generally allowing the world to believe that he was proud of his only son: He was the 13th of 15 children, born in 1936. When he was born, and was growing up, his father didn't have any love left, and was still struggling to support his family. I never met my Paternal Grandfather, but I understand that he was a very stern man. My Pop used the birth certificate of a dead brother to join the US Navy when he was 16, just to get away.

I've forgiven all of that. Now, my Pop is in his mid-seventies. He looks forward to my phone calls more than I look forward to his. Two days without a call, and I get complaints from my sister, who calls home every day. He says he thinks I'm mad, because I don't call. I called the day before yesterday, for fuck's sake. And the day before that. And the day before that. I find that he'll usually agree with what I have to say, without really saying he agrees. He's set in his ways, believes what he believes, but I can sway him with a good reasoned point. He wants to talk about Fox News. I don't. He wants to trash talk Barack Obama. I don't. By the end of our calls though, I've usually gotten him to say "maybe you're right" dozens of times.

He's in his seventies and still talks like he'd go back to work in a heartbeat, probably because being on a fixed income scares the shit out of him. I'm in my late forties and am in semi-retirement. Congratulate me? Fuck no.

I'm going to fucking miss him. Who will be there for me when he's gone? He's the only male above me in my family tree now. When he's gone, there won't be anyone for me to bounce ideas off of. There won't be anyone whose compliments I aspire to; forget that I never got them from him... I still try. I am SOOOO not prepared to be seen as the patriarch of my family. Fuck a buncha that. I don't have what he has. I never will.

He's been my Hero. He's been my #1 Villain. He's been the good, the bad, and the ugly. He's been a hundred things, but the one thing he lays the ultimate claim to is that he's my Father. I can't stand having to begin every conversation with him by asking if he's checked his blood sugar today. If he's taken his blood pressure medication.

The thing that sucks about life the most is the fact that those who occupy your heart will cause you the most pain by their passing.

This started out to be a post expressing condolences for Josh and Jake over the loss of their father.

Maybe I shouldn't drink so much wine...

[Ghost in the Machine]

1. My dad will be 72 this friday...

We rode 4 wheelers around my property a couple of weeks ago. He had a blast...

He is in relatively good health and will hopefully be around for many more years...

I can't even guess on how I'll feel when he's gone.... but I'll know I've lost a friend and mentor...

Peace,

Ghost

[cherokeeprogressive]

2. He's "my guy". I remember once when I was a kid... he had appendicitis.

He told me when he was in the hospital "you know, I'm gonna be be dead someday..."

I waited until everyone was asleep... and cried until my pillow was soaked.

He's my Mentor, my Hero, and now that he's finally becoming my Friend, I am constantly reminded that I'll lose him someday soon.

[Heidi]

3. My dad is still living,

but he's very sick. I hope that when he dies, I'll find the strength to celebrate his life and all that he has given me. He and Mom adopted my sister and me when we were five and six respectively, and Dad (25 years old at the time) had just returned stateside from a tour of Vietnam. I wasn't an easy kid to raise, but I'm grateful he (and Mom) gave us a new and better life.

No wine involved here. Just a whole lot of love and respect for my dad. :)

[elleng]

4. My Dad is 96, and the most important person in my life.

I'm sorry for those who haven't had a similar experience.

[dropkickpa]

5. My dad is one of my best friends

I get my twisted sense of humor from him, my sense of right and wrong, and he is my hero. We talk all the time, and if he died I'd be fucking devastated. Me and my mom do not have a very good relationship but growing up he gave me unconditional love and always told me he was proud of me and my accomplishments. I can't imagin what Josh and Jake are feeling right now but my heart goes out to them because I know I'd be crushed.

[old mark]

6. My dad turned 93 on New Years Day. We do not get along, never have

since I was in grade school, and I have realized we never will.

I do envy you who have good relationships with your dads, but it was not my choice and it still is not, just how it is.

mark

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

7. All I can offer is

your Dad is doing the best he knows how. Maybe that was how his father interacted with him........ :shrug:

[av8rdave]

8. My Dad turned 78 yesterday

Physically, he's not in the greatest shape, but mentally he's still very sharp. We don't talk as much as we used to, but we are still very close and I dread the day he is gone.

It's only been the past couple of years that he has seemed like the Dad I knew all my life. When my Mom died in 01, it hit him a lot harder than he was willing to admit. His sense of humor is finally back, and he again enjoys his hobbies and interests.

He spent most of his life as a traveling salesman, so his work kept him away almost as much as mine does. But when he was home he was all ours. We weren't poor by any means, but there wasn't a lot of extra either, so most of our family vacations were spent camping with relatives not far from where we lived. Those are some of my happiest memories growing up.

My Dad taught me to ride motorcycles, fix things, treat others with respect, pay attention to what's going on in the world, and stand up for myself when I needed to.

One memory of him that sticks with me: The house I grew up in was an old one, with wide planked hardwood floors that creaked when you walked on them. There was a large, open hallway outside my bedroom door. Across the hall was the door to the attic stairs. I was so frightened of that door and the attic. On windy nights, I heard every imaginable scary, horrible sound come from behind that door. Well after I should have been asleep on one of those nights, I was sure I heard footsteps and moans coming from the attic. I hid under the covers in terror.

My Dad must have heard me sobbing. He came into my room and asked me what was wrong. I was literally shaking as I told him. He straightened up, took me by the hand, and said enthusiastically, "Well come on then. Let's check it out!" Off we went. He was so confident and matter of fact about opening that door and going up those stairs with me in tow. That was the moment I first realized the importance of facing your fears and doing something about them.

Thanks, Dad!

[Captain Hilts]

9. Not mine. Dec '94. Mom went two years ago. I'm an orphan now. nt

[bif]

10. My dad is 85 and still pretty sharp.

Sure he's a little forgetful, but hey, that comes with old age. And we get along better than we ever have.

[lukasahero]

11. My dad is dying

He was put in hospice care 2 days after xmas. He was a healthy and vibrant 80 year old until just before Christmas. Now he's just a ghost of his former self.

He is my hero.

I will be devastated at his passing.