Oh Shit! My cat walked across the keyboard and bought two thousand shares of BP.

[TreasonousBastard]

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. I hope he shorted it.

[Canuckistanian]

2. Your cat, eh?

And I just told my wife that the dog farted.

[TreasonousBastard]

3. Have I mentioned the time I was very young and picked up my date at her house?

Sat with the parents in their living room petting the dog when I felt a gaseous pulse. Let it out silently and hoped no one would notice.

After the few seconds it took for the noxious gas to cross the room, "Spot!" yelled the mother.

"Good." I thought, "she's blaming it on the dog."

Another almost silent toot.

"SPOT!"

So far so good, so I finally let one rip.

"SPOT! Will you move before this guy SHITS on you!"

[hippywife]

4. I can't even begin to tell you

how many times my dad told this joke when we were kids.

[TreasonousBastard]

6. Wow! I heard it years ago, but this is the first time...

someone else admitted hearing it.

[hippywife]

7. It was told a little different at our house.

It was a priest invited over for dinner who was having the flatulence problem at the table. LOL

(Italian Catholic household.)

[bookworm65t]

5. $.01 price per share?

Just wondering :)