If you wrote the Bible, what would be your commandments?

[mvd]

My list would keep thou shall not kill, thou shall not steal, honor your father and mother, you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor (basically anti-malicious lie), and one about coveting.

I'd add:

Thou shall be against Bush and neo-cons
Thou shall not be cheap
Thou shall not be arrogant
Thou shall not violate minors
Thou shall be tolerant of other faiths

[Paragon]

Only David Letterman shalt make Top Ten Lists

That's it - one commandment. :)

[7th_Sephiroth]

1. but dont you know

coveting is the base for capitalisim

[mvd]

2. I'm not a big fan of capitalism as it is now, but..

perhaps that commandment could be re-written to thou shall not be jealous or thou shall not have money as a God-like persuit. :-)

[7th_Sephiroth]

3. capitalisim is doomed, from a technoligocal standpoint

at some point technoligy will be made to where you can make anything with just the raw materials, its allready being developed

[mobuto]

13. Don't hold your breath

Marx and Engels predicted the imminent death of capitalism in 1848. It hasn't happened yet. Capitalism has adapted and survived.

at some point technoligy will be made to where you can make anything with just the raw materials, its allready being developed

I don't understand your point. What would you use to make something other than raw materials?

[billhos]

5. Thou shalt not

covet thy neighbors ass.

[stopbush]

4. You will engage in recreational sex at least once a day

BTW - what's with the "Thou" shit? I doubt if god ever said "Thou."

[ParanoidPat]

6. From a previous post: "The First Church of the Couple of Holes......"

Link :evilgrin:

.....I'm starting a new church. Anyone is welcome to join and you don't even have to believe there's a 'God'. The basic idea of this church is really very simple. As a good friend Stephen G. used to point out, if you took all of the worlds religions and placed all of their beliefs as separate holes on computer punch cards, then stack them up and hold the stack up to the light, a couple of holes go clear through the deck. Don't kill each other. Take care of one another. That's it, nothing else matters, the rest is optional. This is all you have to believe to join.
End of sermon, now go in peace and be good to each other.

Peace O8)

[JVS]

7. Be excellent to each other.... and party on dudes!

[Mike Niendorff]

23. LOL ... you beat me to it :)

[Blue-Jay]

8. Only one, but it's all-encompassing.

1. Don't be a dick.

[Robb]

9. Sort of a re-vamp of Robb's First Rule:

Thou shalt not assume thy dish cannot be improved by the adding of bacon.

[mvd]

10. I'm making one of mine all-encompassing

The tolerance one should also include race, sexual orientation, and people with disabilities.

[mobuto]

11. I was about to say, "Thou shalt not

change lanes without a turn signal," and then I realized that not too many people pay attention to the current Ten Commandments as they are. People would probably refuse to use turn signals as a sign of rebellion.

[Triple H]

12. The same ten commandments that are in it now.

They pretty much sum it all up.

[WilliamPitt]

14. These will do

Commandment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Commandment II

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Commandment III

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Commandment IV

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Commandment V

Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

Commandment VI

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

Commandment VII

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Commandment VIII

The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.

Commandment IX

The right of citizens of the United States, who are 18 years of age or older, to vote, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state on account of age.

Commandment X

Thou shalt not bite me.

[VelmaD]

19. Good answer

I like it. Works for me.

[VOX]

15. Thou shalt be nice, dammit!"

What's so difficult about that?

[Algorem]

16. What happens in Sodom and Gomorrah,stays in Sodom and Gomorrah.

[Mrs. Venation]

17. Thou Shall Not Think About Other People's Sex Lives

for the Lord thy God thinketh it perverse.

Thou shall not prevent two adults from entering into marriage because you don't like them; it is an abomination.

Thou shall not spew hatred in My name; it pisseth me off royally. If thou doest preach hatred in My name, thy next life will be in the form of one thou despiseth.

Thou shall take care of the poor; thou shalt not protest taxes that assist my angels on earth. If thou doest oppress the poor, thou shall be poorer than poor in thy next life.

Thou shall love thy neighbor; everyone is thy neighbor.

[Kadie]

18. Thou shall not

drive below the speed limit in the fast lane on the freeway.

[Adams Wulff]

20. Thou Shall have only 3 commandments:

Thou Shall Love One Another

Thou shall remember thy humility.

Thou Shall be a steward to thy home, the planet Earth.

[Whitacre D_WI]

21. Thou shalt not be a dumbass.

[Deja Q]

22. What everyone else said, plus:

Thou shalt watcheth British televison at every given opportunity.

Thou shalt, upon sight, destroy every box of peeps.

[Mike Niendorff]

24. <thinking cap on>

Thou shalt mind thine own business, and live and let live.
Thou shalt follow the evidence, wherever it leads.
Thou shalt not attack thy neighbor for speaking an uncomfortable truth.
Thou shalt not draw to an inside straight.

:shrug:


MDN