Does it bother you if your spouse/SO check out other people when you are both out together?

[HipChick]

Do you ignore it? Pretend you didn't see? Don't let it bother you?

[MiddleFingerMom]

1. My ex-wife and I were out walking in a park (we were in our early 20's)...

.
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...when this woman came walking along toward us who had an
unbelievably exceptional physical characteristic.
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Well... two of them, actually.
.
When she had passed and we had walked another 10-15 seconds
in stunned silence, my ex finally said, "NICE tits."
.
Another 5 seconds, and I replied, "Damn straight."
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.
.
And nothing more was ever said about it.
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Them.
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You know what I mean.
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.

[jobycom]

2. When I had an SO, we compared notes and pointed others out.

"Hey, look at him. He's your type."
"Yeah, but his wife isn't yours. Look at the redhead over there."

[nolabear]

3. Depends, and I realize this is totally unfair

on what kind of mood I'm in. A lot of the time I appreciate what they appreciate. But it gets on my last nerve sometimes too.

Go figure.

[grace0418]

4. We pick them out for each other. I know what he likes and he knows what I like.

It's usually a fun game to guess and see if we're right (we usually are). We're married, not dead.

[old mark]

5. I sometimes find myself doing it, and try not to. nt

[av8rdave]

6. Not a bit

When your SO stops looking, he/she no longer has a sex drive. Not a good thing.

[PassingFair]

7. I was on a date with my boyfriend (EX boyfriend...)

We were stopped at a light on our way to dinner, and in
the car next to us was a good looking woman and a so-so
looking man in an expensive car.

My boyfriend ogled the woman for a while, and when he
noticed that I had noticed his distraction, he said
"That guy must have a lot of money!" Meaning that there
would be no other reason for the beautiful woman to be
with him.

I let it slide.

At dinner later that night, a guy from another table
was OBVIOUSLY ogling ME, to the point where my boyfriend
brilliantly hit him with the "What are you lookin' at"
line.

To diffuse the situation, I told him to relax - the
guy just figured he (my boyfriend) was loaded and he'd never seen a
millionaire before.

Another story:

My husband and I were walking towards a bar, when a woman
expertly parked her sporty car and jumped out to feed the
meter. As we passed, we couldn't help but notice her toned
midriff and pierced belly-button, as she was wearing a cropped top.

My husband looked at her and said (what sounded to me like) "Nice outey!".
I can tell you,
I was SHOCKED that he would be so uncouth IN FRONT OF ME.
The woman didn't even flinch, smiled at him and said "Thank you,
I just got it last week", and looked fondly at her freshly parked AUDI.

I still laugh about THAT one.

[Callalily]

9. Both great stories! n/t

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. heh --

funny stuff there. :D

[Kali]

27. snort!

good one

[xchrom]

8. no. lets me know they're still alive. nt

[qb]

11. My partner & I enjoy the eye candy (I more than he)

Sometimes he feigns outrage at my wandering eyes, and I feign brazen defiance.

[distantearlywarning]

12. We point people out for one another.

Neither one of us is a particularly jealous individual.

[eShirl]

13. It bothers me, and trying to ignore it or to not "let it" bother me doesn't work.

I REALLY don't like that I'm the kind of person that it bothers. I don't know how to change.

edit to add: this has been an issue for me for a couple decades

[Kali]

28. if somebody is grossly obvious about it, then that is rude and disrespectful

but a little bit of "being aware of one's surroundings" is ok

[tblue]

33. You don't have to change anything.

Honor your heart, sweetie. If it bothers you, if anything bothers you, you have the right to NOT subject yourself to it. Just my 2 cents. Personally, I think it's rude to do that to someone you love. I wouldn't do it and I don't respect others who do. Again, that's just ME.

[bigwillq]

14. Doesn't bother me

I do it. Can't blame them if they do, too.

[PassingFair]

15. I'm sure you're discreet about it, biggybig....

In the initial phases of love, everyone wants
to feel like they're the center of the other's world.

Here's a version of my daughter's current favorite song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHuoZlkfRP8&feature=related

[dawg]

16. That isn't my style.

If I thought there were the slightest possiblity it would hurt or offend my SO, then I would think it very rude to be ogling other women in her presence. Disrespectful even.

If I knew she didn't mind, I still wouldn't do it. If she is my SO, then she is my SO for a reason. If I wanted another woman, I would pursue that. If I have a SO, I probably don't want anyone else. If the SO is that special to me, I want all my actions to reflect that.

Am I going to notice attractive women? Of course. Notice. That is all.

Oh, and as for me .... I am insecure and jealous as hell. Can't help what I am. Maybe, if a good woman were to take me in and rebuild my confidence I would not be that way. But it is what it is, and if I had a SO who was ogling other men while she was with me, I would consider it very inconsiderate and would start rethinking the relationship.

[seabeyond]

18. i don't play that game either, many reasons. i told hubby the other day, a man running, near naked

primed body, lots of muscles. i am sittin at the light looking at him. he has to stop. i am looking and having conversation in head, why did he stop. why isnt he running in place. is he really going to just stand there at the red light and not jog in place. then i went off to whether or not that was a good idea.

the light turns green, and i go.... and start thinking... hey, wait a minute.

this is an almost naked guy, looking really good with all those muscles. i am suppose to think about sex.

nothing.

nada

not even a thought

told hubby, ah well. he makes me happy. he makes me feel good. he takes care of me. i simply dont have it in me

then we proceeded with the conversation of the men i see at the highschool craning their necks to check out the KIDS, you know.... KIDS. and how disgusting that is. not even the boys behave like that with the girls...

all interesting

but i agree with you. not in me

no desire.

and not playing a back and forth of who i would do or not, who hubby would do or not....with each other

[tblue]

34. You're not insecure. You're a CATCH!

Somebody's gonna be awful lucky to have a sweetheart like you. There's noticing and there's oggling. Big difference.

[BillStein]

17. My husband and I point out

guys who "will do in a pinch" or whom "I wouldn't throw out of my bed". I don't care if he finds other men attractive, I know he loves me! :pals:

edited to correct typos

[Shell Beau]

19. My husband doesn't do that. I totally do though.

And it wouldn't bother me if he did. We can look at whatever beauty is out there as long as it is just looking.

[guitar man]

20. We are both gawkers

We sometimes point out people we think the other will like, or jokingly point out people we know are totally not the type the other would like. She always gets a wry little smile when she catches me checking out a big girl, I think it is reassuring to her to know that I actually do like women who are nice and plump :)

[tigereye]

21. we don't do it, so no.

[lazarus]

22. not in the least

we're both comfortable in our marriage, and aren't very jealous types. It's like window shopping. As long as you know you're not buying, it's fun and doesn't hurt the budget.

[NewJeffCT]

23. Never bothered me before

and, I try to be subtle if I check out other women... no ogling/gawking for me. My wife has never said anything to me.

My ex-wife would sometimes point out other women to me - like the time she dragged me to a Hooters in Florida (and, she really had to twist my arm on that one...) and told me that our servers had "boobs as big as mine" (my ex was a small woman with a big chest). I think I responded with something like, "you may be right" or similar. However, other times, she was bothered if I looked at other women, so I tried to not do it. I never really noticed her looking at other men, but women are usually more subtle about those things than guys.

[Chan790]

24. No.

Well, right now I don't have an SO...but based on my objections to monogamy I think it'd be silly for me get offended over it. With my ex, it was mutual sport. She was bi, I'm kinky and neither of us was into the whole monogamy thing. So not only didn't we care, it was more like:

"Hey that one's hot, can we take her home?"
"Eh, not really my type...that one?"
"Ha, no."
"Them?"
"Screw it, lets just get some take-out and watch Bones reruns."

(You have to love a woman secure enough to propose watching mediocre TV because she knows you have the hots for the lead actress.)

[sarge43]

25. No.

I trust him and so what if he looks. He's a man. I'll be more worried if and when he doesn't.

[Kali]

26. We try to avoid that.

Going out together that is.:rofl:

[Rowdyboy]

29. Of course not, we have very similar taste in men.....

But we always wind up going home together

[sohndrsmith]

30. Oh heck, it used to... in part because I was seriously lacking self-confidence, but largely

because he had a problem that went further than fleeting visual events. It was annoying when he would get behind seated women to clearly and deliberately look down their tops... nearly falling over for such a peek.

I've become older and wiser - and sadly the woman he's with is cheated on constantly, as will every woman he pretends to be attached to. I think he has an obsessive issue - one that he can't overcome, because what he risks for his trysts is unbelievable and I don't think he can stop if he wanted to.

Now I'm thoroughly comfortable enough to say how pretty someone at another table is - my counterpart - in my presence is a complete gentleman and THAT I enjoy...

[vixengrl]

31. He looks, I look, we're cool. We watch porn together--

so if we can't check out people together, that would be weird. Sometimes he will "confess" that he was checking out some physically healthy wonder of the world that walks by--but most of the time I don't have to be told, because I'm already looking. I don't mind checking out the odd (or even amazingly symmetrical) bod of random attractive males and females--to me, it's normal to feel a little something, or at least to notice. So if my husband notices? I don't so much care.

If it turns him on, I get the benefits. And vice versa--if I see something I like, I share. I decided a long time ago not to get bothered. Men are visual and they look--and it turns out I'm visual and I do too. It doesn't make sense to me to suppress appreciation, so long as it isn't acted on.

[tblue]

32. For me, to me, it's disrespectful

and it would hurt my feelings. I don't do that to him and he doesn't do it to me. So, we're cool. I probably would not marry a guy who'd do that. If I observed someone else doing it, I'd feel bad for their spouse.

[fizzgig]

35. i honestly don't think i've ever seen my husband check out another woman

if his head turns, it's a bicycle or a car. it wouldn't bother me if he did, though, because it's not like i don't look. we're married, not dead.

[Deep13]

36. We make jokes about it.

It's unreasonable to expect someone to stop noticing attractive people just because he or she is part of a couple. My marriage is so much more than how we look. It doesn't bother either of us because we both know that at the end of the day we will each end up in the same place.

[underseasurveyor]

37. Not at all

We point out people to each other all the time. Mostly the hot ones because one of our mottos is - I don't care where you get your appetite just as long as you eat at home. But we also point out the 'over-done housewife' type with blown up lips and faces so full of botox and juvederm one can't help but look because they look so fake and freakish. And there's a lot of those here in Newport Beach. I keep telling my SO that one of these times I'm going to stop and ask, 'do you really think that looks attractive?' I know it's snarky and mean and I'll probably never have the guts to actually do it but that's what I'm thinking when I see them. yukx(

[Zorra]

38. Alas, all significant others that have done this

are no longer with us.

[HipChick]

39. So....I raised the issue...he had no idea it bothered me..

and I had no idea it was Aunt Flo TOM...go figure..