Can anyone explain how to get into heaven?

[jmowreader]

This is why I ask:

My belief is, religion was invented to take away the fear of death. The concept that you're here one instant and gone the next is so strange and frightening Religion was invented to alleviate it: if you are in our church and follow its teachings, when your body dies your soul will go to a much nicer place. However, if you are NOT in our church there is a very bad place, one that contains the thing you fear most, where you will go. (For some it's fire, others ice or maybe sewage, and in teabagger hell the guy running the joint is an IRS agent.)

Now, on the theory that If You Are In Our Religion You Go To Heaven And If You Are Not You Go To Hell, would it not be fair to assume that a Religion A person who gets accepted into Religion A Heaven will get about three steps inside the door before someone from Religion B picks him up, takes him to the Religion B Judgment, finds him an apostate and throws him in Religion B Hell? I know this is Chick Theology--in a lot of his little comic books there are pictures of devout Non Christians standing tall before Jesus before they get thrown into the lake of fire--but it's a logical question.

[femmocrat]

1. I'm pretty sure you have to pass through the Pearly Gates.

Not a door. ;)

[annabanana]

2. Ummm. . Practice?

well, maybe not.or but maybe with reincarnation, maybe ..hmmmm

[darkstar3]

3. Well, the last video I saw of her made it seem pretty easy.

Thank you, I'm here all week. ;)

[dawg]

4. I watched a documentary last night about Mecca and the Hadj.

I found it fascinating. The show followed 3 pilgrims making the trip to Mecca: an American woman, a South African man, and, I think, a Malaysian man. I thought the whole thing was very beautiful.

I'm a Christian, so around here, I suppose that means I worship a flying spaghetti monster. But I don't think God is as small as we are, with all the petty differences we invent with our different religions.

I believe God will judge based on the contents of our hearts, our innermost desires of what we would like to be. Some people recognize God's perfection and man's imperfection, and willingly desire to submit to his will. Others would prefer oblivion to that fate. In the end, I think we all get the afterlife we choose.

[dawg]

5. Well ...

I did that thing again where I accidently double-post my reply. So I edited the second one in order to not be redundant. Here's a nice picture of a leaf:

[lunatica]

6. If you're Catholic all you have to do is confess your sins before you die

You automatically go to heaven if you confess your sins. And if you can't confess because you're in a war and your throat has been cut by a bomb shell a priest can give you the last rites and you go to heaven. But sometimes you go to purgatory for being in the wrong place at the wrong time but you can do your time and then go to heaven.

It's complicated.

[Dystopian]

7. Lake of Fire

It's all I have...

Everything reminds me....there's a song about that...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quZ5rE8ujcA


peace~

[freshwest]

10. I figured it would be like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YyDg9tT0Vw&feature=related

[Joey Liberal]

8. I'm just a hell bound Liberal

Since heaven apparently is for conservative evangelicals, I will end up in hell, which is probably a strip joint that'll be run by Hugh Hefner. Oh wait, wouldn't that be heaven?

[krispos42]

9. Talk like a pirate on September 19th...

...observe the holidays of Ramedan, Pastover, and Holiday, and let His Noodly Appendage into your life and soul.

[freshwest]

11. Wow, I can hardly wait, great time to get wet before the fall settles in.

[kentauros]

12. Maybe this site will answer your question:

The NDE and Heaven

Also
The NDE and Hell

:)

[freshwest]

13. Wow. I hadn't read those, but I will read. They nearly match the conclusions I came to a while ago.

IMHO, heaven and hell exist side by side and are choices and have nothing to do with being dead or alive, even. They are experiences. But I do have a strong series of belief about what life on Earth should be about and want to direct as much of my life that way.

[chollybocker]

14. First, St. Pete grills you under hot lights for what seems like a lifetime,

then, if you haven't been pushed (or fallen - oops!) over the edge of the puffy white clouds, you get to meet the Original Big G, when he was a lot like Chuck Norris, before he got all re-testamented. There's yer heaven, right there.

[jmowreader]

15. Somehow I think we're getting beside the point

Every religion claims that all persons who don't belong to that religion are going to go to hell, if that religion uses a hell in its theology. Christians call it hell, Buddhists naraka, Muslims jahannum. I didn't spend very much time looking for the hell in each of the world's religions, because it's not really necessary: if you practice the religion you go to the good place, if you don't you go to hell.

Now! If every religion has consigned people who don't follow that religion to hell, it follows that a Christian (who by doctrine is either going to go to or is eligible to go to heaven) is also destined to go to naraka because he doesn't follow Buddha and to jahannum because he doesn't follow Allah.

So...either all these religions are correct and everyone winds up in a place they weren't counting on going to, or they're all wrong and there's no hell. (Which would make more sense--the only people who would go to hell are people with no religion, but since not believing in God also means you spurn both heavens with angels playing Ozzy tunes on harps and hells with little red guys carrying pitchforks you're going to just kinda evaporate when you die.)

[Quantess]

16. C'mon. All religions are of human design, which NECESSARILY means they are loaded with baggage.

Didn't we learn from yesteryear comics that the wages of sin will cause a heavy ball and chain to... if not physically... at least spiritually... grab onto your ankle?