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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:27 AM
Original message
Woman Nearly Killed by Banana
April 9, 2004 07:42 AM EDT

WASHINGTON, DC - A Maryland woman broke her neck and pelvis and suffered a severe concussion late Thursday afternoon when she stepped on an overripe banana in the dark underground parking garage of the Westin Grand Hotel in Northwest Washington, authorities reported this morning.

Emergency medical technicians were called to the second level of the garage at 5:43 PM Thursday after a hotel guest notified the desk clerk in the lobby that there was a woman "screaming down there on the floor between two cars."

In a prepared statement, Captain Jane Heyslen of the District of Columbia Fire and EMS said, "Miss ****** ********, forty-one, was transported to George Washington University Hospital with serious but non-life-threatening injuries. She was stepping into her car when she stepped on the banana, which had evidently been dropped or placed just under her car door."

When asked about the possibility that the banana had been intentionally put outside Miss ********'s car door by someone wishing to harm her, Capt. Heyslen said, "I won't comment on that. The police are investigating."

Lt. Dave Peters of the Metropolitan Police Department's Public Relations Office would say only that "Miss ********'s car had a politically provocative bumper sticker on it and we are investigating the possibility that this banana-dropping was a hate crime." He declined to comment on the bumper sticker's message.

Reached for comment at GWU Hospital this morning, Miss ********, who has a monthly parking contract at the hotel, said, "I can't believe the police are investigating this. It was just a banana."

Mr. Jack Williams, supervisor of the hotel's janitorial staff, had no comment, but the hotel's general manager, Ms. Linda McGinley, said, "I'll be reviewing Mr. Williams' garage-cleaning procedures. Something like this should not be allowed to happen. Thank God Miss ******** wasn't a guest of the hotel -- can you imagine the lawsuit?"

Asked if she intended to bring a lawsuit against the hotel, Miss ******** stated emphatically that she would not and that "the notion is ridiculous.

"It's not the hotel's fault that I slipped on a banana. It was probably dropped by some little kid whose parents were in too big a hurry to catch their plane.

"No one strategically dropped it there because of my bumper sticker," continued Miss ********. "Besides, I'm a certified klutz. I don't need to step on a banana to break my neck."
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:37 AM
Response to Original message
1. Welll. when she finds herself disabled , loses her insurance
and gets the hospital and therapy bills, she might reconsider..:(

What a weird story :)
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 10:14 AM
Response to Reply #1
11. Weird?
Thank you!
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:43 AM
Response to Original message
2. Bumper sticker?
Huh? :shrug:
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kmla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:46 AM
Response to Original message
3. However it was overlooked in the police report...
... that cartoon characters, "Tom", the cat, and "Jerry", the mouse, were seen leaving the area just shortly after the slipping incident. They were scene entering the car whose license plates were registered to "Bugs Bunny", a veteran actor and product spokesperson for Warner Brothers.

Police are following up on these leads.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. That's the spirit!
;)
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:49 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. In a related incident, she was nearly crushed by a falling piano...
Edited on Fri Apr-09-04 09:50 AM by Richardo
...after almost falling to her death when her parachute opened and inexplicably deployed an anvil.
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histohoney Donating Member (584 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #5
8. I wonder,
Does Miss********, work for ACME?
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 10:02 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. I think Miss******** should change her name to Wile E. Coyote.
;)
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histohoney Donating Member (584 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 10:08 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. BEE BEEP
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
6. Update:
As it turned out, it wasn't a banana. The parking garage was merely happy to see her. :evilgrin:
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kmla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 09:50 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. Bwahahahahaha!!!!!
You is funny, man!
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Insider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 10:34 AM
Response to Original message
12. HATE CRIME= "mom, i hate bananas!"
"then throw it out, ya brat!"

and so goes another senseless fruit-related injury.
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 10:42 AM
Response to Original message
13. a question:
What exactly about this newspaper article leads you to believe that it is an actual newspaper article? ;)
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TOhioLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 11:23 AM
Response to Original message
14. All in all...
I didn't find this story to be very...*AHEM*...appealing. :crazy:

Trekkerlass
DU's Resident Punster
Completely incorrigible.
Please don't incorrige
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Bertha Venation Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-09-04 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. Ooh, that was bad.
But good. :crazy:
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