So sorry, voters, but you're fired
Who are you to make us look like idiots?
BRIAN MCGRORY
Boston Globe
MANCHESTER, N.H. - Voters, come in, please. Take a seat. We need to have a little talk.
Listen, you've done some great work over the years, you really have. The entire country owes you a huge debt of thanks. But on behalf of the news media, the pundits, powerbrokers, columnists and talking heads, I have some news that it doesn't give me any pleasure to give.
You're fired.
I know it seems abrupt, but it really isn't. We've been thinking about this since we caught you having that illicit fling with John McCain. The bottom line is, you're unreliable, and this electoral system needs to be fixed.
http://www.charlotte.com/mld/observer/news/opinion/7821910.htmDo you have any idea how many millions of dollars we spend on polls? And when we use irrefutable science to determine exactly who wins what race and why, you willfully ignore the memo.
So there's the problem: You're not paying enough attention, and I don't mean to the boring candidates. To us.
You're sure not paying enough attention to the roughly 50,000 stories and analyses we've provided over the last year that have told you exactly why Howard Dean is going to walk away with the nomination or why Wes Clark still has a chance or why John Kerry has none at all. How could you possibly ignore the crucial fact that some candidates can already afford to advertise in New Mexico while others can't?
Didn't you realize that we dismissed Kerry's candidacy with a steady stream of snarky jokes many months ago? Likewise, did you miss the whole Dean coronation we held? Did you ignore how often the news magazines had him on their cover?
How do you think all this makes us in the news business feel? Well, I'll tell you exactly how it makes us feel: jittery. We were up here in New Hampshire long past the time when we like to call things done, and you keep getting in the way. Dean's down, Dean's up. Kerry's surging, Kerry's sliding. Who do you think you are, waiting until Primary Day to make up your mind?