I know that we’ve been chatting here a lot already this week about David Vitter – the Louisiana Bible-thumping family values Senator that was caught using a Washington DC escort service, where he apparently enjoyed wearing diapers during his “visits”. The scandal was made public by Larry Flynt – the notorious editor of Hustler Magazine. I’ve been a fan of Larry Flynt’s ever since I read about his Supreme Court victory over Jerry Falwell. He also made a name for himself in the late 1990s exposing the extramarital affairs of Bob Livingston, the conservative Louisiana Congressman the Vitter ironically replaced. Anyway, Larry Flynt was on Larry King Live last Tuesday to talk about the Vitter case. He also dropped a major bombshell:
KING: Larry, without naming them, because we stand under legal protection here, are others coming?
FLYNT: Oh, yes. We've gotten 10 times more leads from the recent ad in "The Post" than we got during the Clinton impeachment. Unbelievable. We've got...
KING: Ten times more leads?
FLYNT: Yes.
KING: Does that mean you have phone numbers that you're following up?
FLYNT: Not just phone numbers.
KING: Names?
FLYNT: We've got good leads. We've got over 300 initially. And they're down to about 30 now which is solid.
KING: When are you going to print?
FLYNT: Well, the last thing now is we don't know if we want to let it to drip, drip, drip or we want to go with everything at once.
KING: You mean you might release 30 names at once?
FLYNT: A good possibility.
KING: Will we be -- I don't want to get into names yet. Will we be shocked?
FLYNT: Yes.
KING: Were you shocked?
FLYNT: I was shocked, especially at one senator but...
KING: One senator especially?
FLYNT: Yes.
. . . . . . .
KING: What bothers you the most is the hypocrisy, right?
FLYNT: It's the biggest threat to democracy.
KING: Speaking out on morals?
FLYNT: Yes.
Now think what you will about Larry Flynt. Sure he’s a known pornographer. He’s also a former pain pill addict and has been accused (rightly or wrongly) of a litany of sordid things. However, he shares my loathing of moral and conservative hypocrisy.
The thing I found interesting about the Larry King interview wasn’t so much the number of people who have come up in Flynt’s investigation. I particularly enjoyed that he’s wondering whether or not to release all of the names on his list at once or just let the names bleed out to the press every couple of weeks or so. If I had a vote in this process, I’d urge him to stretch it out over time, since it will allow the world to see each of these faux-moralistic hypocrites sweat it out individually over a long period of time.
I can envision the Republican caucus in the Senate huddling in fear in the Senate Cloak Room between floor votes, wondering which one of them was going to become publicly exposed next. I presume it would look a bit like the story of the survivors of the U.S.S. Indianapolis , only instead of sailors eaten by sharks, it will be shivering old guys in nice suits, with a dorsal-finned Larry Flynt circling around them.
Maybe I’m guilty of schadenfreude, the German word meaning “pleasure taken from someone else’s misfortune”. I suppose that’s true, and it certainly doesn’t make me a better person. I do know that people’s private business should generally be kept that way, unless they’re hurting themselves or someone else in the process. We all have appetites and idiosyncrasies that we don’t share with everyone else, and that’s okay. These are all things that are natural and part of what makes us human.
Therefore, when someone – anyone – comes along and publicly proclaims that their strict moral code is the only one that should be applied to society as a whole, it bothers me to no end. Even when people claim to codify their morality based on a text like the Bible, their lectures do not make me feel as though they are speaking from a greater source of morality than that which I apply to myself naturally.
As such, I can’t help but sit back and enjoy what is sure to be an entertaining next few months. I have no problem with consenting adults doing anything they like to each other whatsoever. But I do love it when those who base their careers on casting others in a negative light for falling short of some arbitrary moral code are revealed to have more bizarre fetishes than most of us. If anything, exposure of this sort should hopefully reduce the shrillness and tenacity of those who choose to judge others, thus defying the very book they embrace so tightly.