Handshake Kabuki and Haikus

[CorpGovActivist]

The http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seneschal">Seneschal of the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imperial_Household_Agency">Imperial Household should immediately convene a summit with the doyenne of the DNC and the majordomo of the upstart, and settle upon the complete and definitive tearoom ceremony, including precisely how many shakes are allowed.

Meanwhile, as the rest of us grown-ups in the primary process (read, Edwards supporters) wait for the kabuki theater rules to be handed down from sacred Mt. Yugotabkiddingme, let us compose poems, of the haiku variety and otherwise.

Brassy troll,
On grassy knoll
Up high, down low, too slow.



- Dave

[WillyT]

1. Mine...

I extend my hand
amongst Senators on the floor
shake you little twerp

:curtsy:

:evilgrin:

[CorpGovActivist]

3. And the Crowd Goes Wild

:applause:

But I don't think you should have to curtsy to her. That's what we fought the Revolutionary War over, in part.

- Dave

[Seabiscuit]

2. Alright here's mine ...

Cold winter chamber,
no warm shake,
kick you in the balls

:think:

I tried. :hi:

[CorpGovActivist]

4. I Encourage Kids...

... to never be afraid to try with their poems, or to fall flat. Because when they soar, they roar.

:applause:

- Dave

[Proud2BAmurkin]

5. OK

Lion reaches out
Chimera twists bitterly
Pissypants Redux

[CorpGovActivist]

8. Rupert Made Me Do It, I SWEAR!

:applause:

Dervishy trance
Seemingly broken
I'm a faith healer.
(Lois, don't get alahmed, but I think I might be Jesus.)

[Ravy]

6. mine

I love a haiku
But a Senate handshake snub?
This is beyond me

[CorpGovActivist]

12. Solid!

:applause:

[AlGore-08.com]

7. Here's mine

Gore has more, better
Reasons to snub Dub'ya
But still shakes his hand

[Lucinda]

13. Nicely done!

[CorpGovActivist]

14. You Made Me Believe...

... even more in your avatar.

:applause:

- Dave

[SaveAmerica]

9. Domo

There once was a gal dressed in scarlet
To the AP that makes her a harlot
Barack's snub is bolder,
He gave her the cold shoulder
Will this make Edwards a starlet?

Not a heiku

[CorpGovActivist]

10. A Wee Bit of Doggerel, That

:applause:

- Dave

[WillyT]

11. LOL !!!

:applause:

[mathewsleep]

15. and mine!

here comes a lair
stand firm, be strong, don't shake hand
a butterfly sings.

[CorpGovActivist]

16. Floats Like a Butterfly...

... stings like a bee. I'll buy it.

:applause:

- Dave

[PeaceNikki]

17. .

I extend my hand
You turn your back. What the fuck?
The DU implodes

[CorpGovActivist]

18. Art Imitates Life...

... and you paint a starkly accurate picture with your poemypen.

:applause:

- Dave

[asdjrocky]

19. Not good at haiku, but here's what I got-

I’m fighting for folks
Who care less about this crap
My name is John Reid Edwards

[CorpGovActivist]

20. Ode to Mussed Hair

Before I e're touched pomade to strand
I borrowed my father's Vitalis
Before I e're stepped foot in court
Sweat dripped from locks of mussed hair.

[asdjrocky]

22. You're wicked smart.

[CorpGovActivist]

24. I Love Poetry and Lyrics...

... always have.

I love your stuff, as mentioned in the other thread.

- Dave

[HCE SuiGeneris]

21. Frost in winter wind

Barren landscape is so cold

Onward victory

[CorpGovActivist]

23. I Like That You Invited Your Reader...

... to envision their own protagonist, by leaving the victor blank.

:applause:

- Dave

[HCE SuiGeneris]

26. You know me, just impartial to it all...

;-)

[CorpGovActivist]

28. The Agnostic's Prayer

[smokey nj]

25. Shake, shake, shake

Shake, shake shake
Shake your bootay, Shake your bootay.

[CorpGovActivist]

29. The Annotated Version...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7347629&mesg_id=7347630">can be found here.

; )

- Dave

[CorpGovActivist]

35. Fixed Link n/t

[PretzelWarrior]

27. bahaha. okay. playing along....

Handshake anyone?
WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THIS
Vote for Obama

[CorpGovActivist]

30. Anvil Dropping Subtlety...

:applause:

Poetry readings are supportive affairs.

- Dave

[PretzelWarrior]

32. I know. mine was over the top because...

well, I'm still pissed this is even an issue and felt like removing subtelty and nuance.

[CorpGovActivist]

33. Tend Your Inner Zen Garden...

... and rake out a deep cutting groove in the poem gravel.

:hug:

- Dave

[eridani]

31. Moonlight in winter

Much ado about nothing
This precious moment

[CorpGovActivist]

34. Astrobatics

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&tab=wn&q=moon+jupiter+venus">Astrobatic omen
Commander planet, love lumen, Apollo's footprint
The gods must think we're crazy.

P.S. Yours rocked! :applause:

[eridani]

36. Breaking out of the syllable constraint

Worth it for that new (to me) word astrobatic.

That damned haiku verse
Running out of syllables
Before you even...

[CorpGovActivist]

37. Haiku Hara-Kari?

Astrobatic: It came to me without ever having read it, but it pre-existed.

Plunging poempen
Into breast of turmoil
Harmony appears.

:applause: <------ The syllable thing was a favorite way to tweak the teacher! Nice of you to capture that rebellion and angst still!

[Patsy Stone]

38. Haiku!

I hid sixteen threads
Each one about a handskake
And still, more to hide.

:crazy:

[CorpGovActivist]

41. Very Sensible of You, Sweetie!

:applause:

:airkiss:

:applause:

- Dave

[Patsy Stone]

45. If only

I had used spell check before I ran out of the house.

:loveya:

[CorpGovActivist]

46. Close Enough, Sweetie!

It could've gone either way, really, darling. Handshake. Handskank. Who's to say, really?

Mmmm. Yes.

[eridani]

39. Like, totally!!! For real!!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x4259508

The beast with two hands
Omigod! Like totally
Fucking batshit nutz!

[CorpGovActivist]

42. I Gave a Thread Some Love Once...

... it died! It died!
I gave their candidate some love once
She lied! She lied!

(with apologies to Lisa Simpson)

- Dave

[eridani]

40. The ten thousand things

Not necessary to have
Ten thousand and one

[CorpGovActivist]

43. I Liked both...

... of yours.

:applause:

Give us 10002.

- Dave

[CorpGovActivist]

44. I Bring Feng Schwing

Lounge, GD, GDP
Lined up neatly
Zenny worldwindows.

[Jed Dilligan]

47. .

Two white senators
shake hands close to candidate.
Internets explode.

[CorpGovActivist]

48. I LIKE!

:applause: :applause:

Angry Weatherman Ollie say
Look out for sputtering yamering today.

- Dave

[rucky]

49. ...

Outraged reaction
Something that did not happen
Nor was expected

[CorpGovActivist]

50. Tripping the Lime Bombastic...

... with Walken!

:applause:

- Dave

[Lilith Velkor]

51. My haiku

Democracy dies
A horrible, awful death.
Cupcakes are yummy!

[CorpGovActivist]

53. You Channeled Your Inner...

... Britney, ya'll, to great effect.

:applause:

- Dave

[calimary]

55. Dang! Worth it just for this post alone!

"...Channeled your inner Britney"

:rofl:

[CorpGovActivist]

56. Nuh-uh...

... poetry is not a spectator sport.

:popcorn:

Lay down some rhythm or some rhyme.

- Dave

[calimary]

57. Uh... well...

There once was an asshole named bush
Who shoulda been out on his tush.
He stood with a smirk
Behaved like a jerk
A pie in his face I would shmush.

[CorpGovActivist]

60. LOVE IT!

:applause: :applause:

Poetry is in all of us.

- Dave

[AlCzervik]

52. mine

so much faux outrage
makes people hate politics
enough already

[CorpGovActivist]

54. I Dig It...

... but you *have* to do one for your avatar. That child deserves a stanza.

- Dave

[iris5426]

58. ...

More proof the media sucks
But where is Edwards
Real issues are what matter


Crap thats backwards with the syllable count huh? Oh well...

[CorpGovActivist]

61. I Like the Lyrics...

... and your two background beatboxers in your sig line were fantastic.

:applause:

- Dave

[HCE SuiGeneris]

59. ...

peregrine talons
clutching at brooks brothers cloth
empty wrath ensues

[CorpGovActivist]

62. Predatory!

:thumbsup: <------------- way up

- Dave

[alcibiades_mystery]

63. I'll shoot

Bad day for Clinton
Must make up
Some silly event

[CorpGovActivist]

64. You're among Friends...

... poetry jams know neither political stripe nor ideological spot.

:applause:

- Dave

[marions ghost]

65. Suddenly last summer...

Knights and saints appear
all inexperienced to deal with
what we have to face

[CorpGovActivist]

66. I'll Give That a Shrubbery!

:applause:

[marions ghost]

76. how about....

ANOTHER Shrubbery? With a little path going down the middle...? ;)
----

Wreaking havoc with a pen
the smirking chimpster ran amok
and now all they call him is a lame duck.

[CorpGovActivist]

77. Landscapey Lunacy!

:applause:

Flower bed of gardenias, thrown in for free.

- Dave

[radfringe]

67. here goes

Dubya
sunset podium
a duck limps

[CorpGovActivist]

68. Liquorlucious!

:applause:

*hiccup*

- Dave

[eridani]

69. Arlo Guthrie sez

"I've been singing this song for 20 minutes. I could go on and sing it for another 20 minutes-I ain't proud. Or tired."

[CorpGovActivist]

70. Pays for the Bologna?

Sing for that supper!

- Dave

[frogmarch]

71. What a neat thread!

This is all I can come up with:

Earth moves round the sun
Yet no one feels us moving
That is freakin' weird.

[CorpGovActivist]

72. My AP Physics Teacher Answers...

You've been velocitized
Hope for no sudden stops
Gravity is a - nother word for one of the candidates.

(P.S. For real, a sudden stop would not be pleasant, based on the calculations we had to do.)

[eridani]

73. Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving

And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.

The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.

We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

[CorpGovActivist]

74. Quite a Bit of Thought!

:applause:

:woohoo:

- Dave

[eridani]

78. On the part of Monty Python

I didn't link because I thought everybody knew.

[CorpGovActivist]

79. You Deserve a Shrubbery!

[Nedsdag]

75. Here's one:

Whoopi Goldberg sucks!
Who cares about a handshake?
Shut up Hillary!

[CorpGovActivist]

80. Cackle-late the Likelihood of That...

... as eyes bug
and talons flex
Beware cross-stage diveswoop.

Yours rocked! :applause:

[CorpGovActivist]

81. Playing Nicely

Wolf, we're having fun tonight
If looks could kill.
Lupine head would roll.

- Dave