A HANDY GUIDE TO THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

[in_cog_ni_to]

This was posted on Clark's blog. I just had to share it. :7


Subject: A HANDY GUIDE TO THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry
Falwell

:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
amendment)
:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq
Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD
:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for
dinner!
:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos
are after your Children!!
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive
rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government
of the Future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat
Man"

:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
:10 PM EPA Address #2 -- Trees: The Real Cause
of Forest Fires
:30 PM Break for secret meetings
:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made
easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint
and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark
"deer in headlights" stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory

Kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black
republicans

:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our
Nation's Economy
:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piqata
:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft:
Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult
:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
:35 PM Blame Clinton
:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
: 00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as
Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[eissa]

1. Thanks for this

I received a similar one for the democrats from a repuke colleague. Nice to know there's one of these to send right back to him!