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TB: President McCain, thank you so for coming to speak with me today.
JM: Heh, not yet Tom, not yet.
TB: Sorry, Senator McCain then, my first question, does it hurt your feelings when the liberal media covers the other guy trying to take your job?
JM: Of course it hurts Tim, but not as much as my time as a POW did.
TB: When you singlehandedly caused the surge to be the only thing that ever brought any type of success to Iraq, was it a great day for you, or the ding-dang greatest day ever?
JM: Well, Jim, it felt pretty good, hehehe. But I have to add, did you notice how the media never asks that Hussein guy why he doesn’t think our soldiers ever do anything right?
TB: President McCain, I hope you noticed that I did ask Barack Osama that question, but he refused to answer. The liberal media did note, however, that Mr. Osama chose to work out rather than visit our injured soldiers.
JM: Joe, let me be clear my friend, when I didn’t visit the soldiers when I was in Iraq, it was because I was following the rules, unlike Barack Hussein.
TB: Thank you for clarifying that for us, Mr. President. So, tell me, what do you feel qualifies you to lead our nation into our greatest era of prosperity ever?
JM: Noun, verb, SURGE, my friend! And my ability to raise money from lobbyists, even as I publicly proclaim that they are bad for our government. It amazes me! The checks I get from Big Oil tell me that Internal Combustion is the wave of the future, and Joe Lieberman’s ass kissin’ guarantees that I can use the term ‘bi-partisan’ any time I damn well choose!
TB: I appreciate your in-depth analysis on that issue, sir. What do you think is Barack Obama’s biggest weakness now?
JM: eh, Moe, can you speak up?
TB: Say whatever bad things you want about Barack Hussein Osama for the next couple minutes… I promise not to interrupt.
JM: Cheese. :: getting angry:: CHEESE!
TB: Um… Senator McCain, we can edit that out – would you like to answer the question?
JM: When does Murder She Wrote come on? Where’s Cindy, that c**t, she promised me pudding?
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