New book from McCain camp hints at trashing Palin.

[JohnnyRingo]

You can't judge a book by it's cover, but this is cold.

[CAG]

1. First paragraph:

He should have known something was wrong that dark foggy night when she entered the room, carrying a turkey leg on a stick she just got at the fair, and said "Hiya, I'm Sarah, and I'm governor of the country of Alaska!" The aroma mixture of turkey grease, cheap perfume, and rotting moose guts cut into the thick air, as he thought to himself "Hey, what a nice lookin' pair.....of glasses". Had he been 30 years younger, his thoughts may have turned to a different pair.

[JohnnyRingo]

2. Haha... You've done this before, haven't you?

"Country of Alaska"
Hahaha

[CAG]

3. Not really, but feel free to add a second paragraph; wouldn't it be cool if

DU'ers started to build on the paragraphs???

[BrklynLiberal]

4. You guys have all the makings of a bestseller!!!!!

[CAG]

5. Like I said, feel free to add the next paragraph!

[CAG]

6. OK, I couldn't wait any longer; Second paragraph

He asked her if she had a good trip, and she explained that it was odd to fly without shooting anything. She added that her and "First Dude", as she called the hick with a mangy beard waiting outside the door, especially loved the free pretzels and booze. Her only complaint was that no Schlitz malt liquor was on the plane. Just then, the camoflauge miniskirt with "I luv Jesus" on the back twisted up to show the top of her fishnet stockings.

[CAG]

7. Third para

After regaining his breath with an inhaler, he told her that Bill Kristol had mentioned her as a strong conservative candidate for VP. She said, "Well, I've always loved his movies, especially the one where he herds those cattle!" A look of confusion swept across his face, but he soon understood and exclaimed "Gee, you're such a kidder!" She replied "Well, the alaska media always laugh at my responses at press conferences, a lot of times I don't know why, like the time I told one of them that President Bush should continue his war against West Korea"

[BrklynLiberal]

8. I am enjoyng what you are writing too much to interfere...

Bill Kristol in that movie with the cattle herding....:rofl:

[JohnnyRingo]

9. I'll try one

Johnny Mac shot her a sideways look and used his good hand to tip the brim of his fedora up from his eyes. He glanced her up and down, giving her the once over. "Hmmm... Could be running mate material" he thought.

Sarah, always on the coy, finally aknowleging him, answered with a perky wink of her left eye. Johnny Mac let out a low whistle..."That seals it" he said under his Black Jack scented breath. "She's the one". He couldn't believe it would be so easy. There was only one more thing he had to know.

Johnny Mac sidled up to the Wasilla Wildcat, and looking deep through the lens of her horn rims, he whispered low toward her ear, "Do you like abortions?"

"Are you kidding?" she said, "I have more kids around the house than a Romney family reunion". I can see Russia fro......

Johnny Mac's eyes bored into her like an offshore oil rig as he thought it over. He'd stopped listening to her after the first sentence, but since it sounded like she wasn't going to quit, he figured he had to find a way to shut her up.

"Well... Come with me to DC baby, I'm gonna make a star outa you." The fateful words just fell out past his dentures. Little did he know how much this trip was going to cost in baggage fees.

[riverdale]

11. You guys are too good. Here is another paragraph

Johnny Mac finally brought the straight talk express to Sarah. He had a dirty job to do, one that she wouldn't be too proud of. It was nothing personal. Only business. You see, someone was standing in his way. Johnny Mac always gets to the top, by any means necessary. In that past that meant using by his dad and granddad's connections, his wife's money, saying anything to anyone, at any time, as long as it got him what he wanted. And Johnny Mac had his sights set on being the Big Boss Man of the whole enterprise.
There was only one problem - an earnest, bright young pup was poised to snatch old Johnny's lifelong dream right out from under his cancerous nose. "Help me out, Sarah," said Mad Mac, "and you'll be a made woman. I have spent my life striving for this... I crave the power ... It is kind of like being on community organizer - only with actual responsibilities." Sarah thought she was mavericky enough to pull it off.

[JohnnyRingo]

13. He gave her the look he saves for this kind of woman....

The one that says "let me use you and throw you away like an ex wife that got fat". "I'll ditch you quicker than a Keating Loan file".

[Phredicles]

10. Seriously, I am eagerly awaiting the dirt-dishing and finger-pointing books

spawned by the McKKKrash campaign: Best Trainwreck EVER!:P

[Boo Boo]

12. Most folks probably just assume that picture

has been photoshopped, but that's her real hump.

Neck too.

[CAG]

14. Wonderful additions! Ok, moving on....

The sun brought forth the next day, and plans were underway to make the shocking VP announcement official to the world. A throng of 32 people, some of them that ol' librul media, gathered around the podium to hear the announcement. Would it be Romney, they murmured; how about Rudy, others asked. Many other names were whispered about. 236 was Mickey Mouse. 313 was Erma Whittlebuck, a local beautician. 543 was Elmo, but he was quickly dismissed as too liberal for being on public television. A hush fell on the crowd as the 764th name murmured was "Sarah Palin." A lone woman thoughtfully asked "huh?".

Backstage, Palin rushed out of her dressing room, cloaked only by a bath towel, screaching "Where the hell is my makeup bag? Its the green camoflauge thing!" She had already been thrown into a bad mood when none of the clothes her staffers brought back from Saks bore the labels "Dickies" or "UnderArmour"....