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Please watch your Mylar balloons, people!!!!

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MadisonProgressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 02:40 PM
Original message
Please watch your Mylar balloons, people!!!!
http://www.buckfush.com/SpecialReport.html

This year, you'll need to take special care using those Mylar balloons that have become such a traditional part of all Presidential Inaugurations. Although the no fly zone has been extended out 23 miles, a stray balloon or two could cause major havoc in the Washington area around the time of the President's speech. Realizing this potential problem, the editors at Buck Fush have developed a simple checklist that will help keep the skies clear above the glorious celebration.

Make sure you keep a handle on all of your Mylar balloons, especially if you are upwind of Washington, D.C. in the early morning of the 20th.


Consider the time when you transport your balloons. For instance, if the wind speed is 15mph and you are 30 miles upwind from Washington, make sure you don't accidentally release any balloons 2 hours before the Ceremony. Keep in mind that winds aloft are stronger than on the surface, so this may not be a perfect formula for determining the worse time to lose a balloon, it may be sooner. Whatever you do, don't lose them at 15 minute intervals, because if all of them were lost this way, at least one would most certainly be overhead during the Inauguration which would be a real disaster.


Don't tie long strips of aluminum foil on your balloons. This is very dangerous, because if one of your balloons was accidentally blown from your hands, these bits of foil would make the balloon have a radar cross section of a 747. You wouldn't want the Air Force to think the skies over Washington were filled with commercial airliners, especially in the no fly zone.


Always wear gloves when handling your Mylar balloons. The sharp edges can cause cuts on your hand if not handled properly, and besides, who wants those smudgy fingerprints, that ruin the shiny surface, for all to see.


Although not a safety concern, I recommend buying your balloons from a local florist. They can give better deals than the major department store, largely because their business overhead does not include things like security cameras that watch your every move. Additionally, many florists offer a cash discount, which I personally like since it doesn't show up on my credit card at the end of the month and confuse me.


Remember, a full balloon will pop sooner, so there will be no problem with it drifting very far. A balloon which is not filled all the way will expand as it rises and will float a great distance. Be careful about this, most people think the opposite.

Hopefully, enough people in the Washington area will take this advice and there will be no problems in the skies over the Inauguration. After all, you wouldn't want the President's speech drown out by the sounds of interceptor jets, would you?

Buck Fush
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Mistress Quickly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 02:49 PM
Response to Original message
1. This sort of stuff is just asking for trouble
makes me very uncomfortable.

I mean, I know its intentionally asking for trouble, but c'mon. Do you really want an air-to-air missile to be launched? Please people. Stuff like this is ridiculous.

Don't tie long strips of aluminum foil on your balloons. This is very dangerous, because if one of your balloons was accidentally blown from your hands, these bits of foil would make the balloon have a radar cross section of a 747. You wouldn't want the Air Force to think the skies over Washington were filled with commercial airliners, especially in the no fly zone.

Very anarchist.

Asking for trouble, I tell you. Bad trouble.
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MadisonProgressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Did you read the article??
It's warning people WHAT NOT to do. Don't read something else into it.
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Mistress Quickly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 11:03 PM
Response to Reply #3
14. Right
whatever.

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blackcat77 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 02:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Yep, just giving them an excuse to drop the hammer.
The onus is on our side to behave in a moral fashion and thus make Bush look bad by comparison.
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lostnfound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 09:29 PM
Response to Reply #4
13. If balloons are the worst that we do, we are 10000x better. nt
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ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 02:49 PM
Response to Original message
2. SNORT!
Edited on Wed Jan-19-05 02:51 PM by ET Awful
:) If I was in DC, I'd definitely keep those precautions in mind :)

BUAHAHAHAHAHA

99 dreams I have had.
In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standing pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souveneir
Just to prove the world was here
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go. . . . .
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Dora Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 02:59 PM
Response to Original message
5. Thanks for the tips! (eom)
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Inland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
6. Look, let the pubbies use false alarms and scares. Not us.
It's not funny and moreover, nothing like giving republicans a "security" excuse to further crack down on a perimeter around the supposely democratic institutions.
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keepthemhonest Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
7. that is very sound advice
wish i was going to be in the DC area so I could practice those safety tips.thanks Madison Progressive for the tidbit.

I am looking forward to a safe inauguration speech.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
8. If the response was just interceptor jets swarming overhead it might
Edited on Wed Jan-19-05 03:11 PM by NCevilDUer
be interesting to see, but as noted below, there will be surface to air missiles deployed. I can just see some panicky soldier loosing explosives over Washington.

To my mind, not a good thing...

http://www.washtimes.com/national/20050118-105234-1449r.htm

ON EDIT -- bad link.

There's a post about it though.

Edit again -- fixed the link. (from Moonie Times)
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olefty Donating Member (39 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 03:37 PM
Response to Original message
9. Great tips I wish I were there!
Fuck bush!
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Imagevision Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 03:43 PM
Response to Original message
10. Appeciate the advice, wear gloves it'll be cold, and use a local florist
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Al-CIAda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 04:04 PM
Response to Original message
11. I believe I saw this in a 'Hints from Helloise" column. -eom
:evilgrin:
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TalkingDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-19-05 04:12 PM
Response to Original message
12. Hahahaha!
Silly, funny, people.
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