If Jesus Returns, Karl Rove Will Kill Him

[struggle4progress]

<snip> Christ was a long-haired peace activist who would have been sickened to his soul by the war in Iraq. "Blessed are the peacemakers" Jesus said in his defining Sermon on the Mount. "Turn the other cheek...Love thy neighbor."

Such hippie-radical ideals are the "Christian" right wing's worst nightmare. The GOP would never tolerate an upstart like Jesus gathering a following in the face of their corporate-fundamentalist crusade. These are self-proclaimed Christians who love power but would despise the actual Christ, just as they love a Zionist Israel but believe actual Jews are doomed to Hell.

In the wake of Jesus's inspiring life of non-violent rebellion, a perverse liturgy weighted by twenty centuries of intolerant bloodthirsty bigotry has erupted in his name. Attacks on people of color, on nations with oil, on humans of the same gender who love each other, on youth who enjoy sex….all have become staples of a new fundamentalist crusade doing in Christ's name things that would have left him horrified. <snip>

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0503/S00225.htm

[blogbear]

1. Amen! Amen!,

[LTR]

2. Recommended for the front page

Sadly, so true.

[WearyOne]

3. when Jesus returns Rove will be with Lucifer asking for a job

[Tux]

4. When Jesus gets back

Isn't he supposed to kill all non-Christians, send Christians to heaven and leave a few people to be tormented on Earth?

Nice and peaceful guy.

[WearyOne]

6. if he "kills all non-Christians"..Rove Bush Cheney etc first to go

[Gimley13]

10. Ya....

i am an atheist, but am a radical leftist. i want world peace, socialized medicine, everything the right wing doesnt. So will i be damned to hell anyway?

[Tux]

14. We're already there

With Shrub in office.

[checks-n-balances]

11. No, you've got that confused with the fundamentalist/dispensationalist

misreading of scripture. It's their own construct, which happens to be diametrically opposed to the spirit of Jesus. Two different things - here's some reading material to help you keep them separate:

http://www.sojo.net
http://www.liberalslikechrist.org/index.htm
http://www.geocities.com/greenpartyvoter/liberalchristians.htm

I think that last one is run by a DUer.

[Az]

5. Lyrics from The The: Armageddon Days are Here Again

They’re 5 miles high as the crow flies
Leavin’ vapour trails against a blood red sky
Movin’ in from the east toward the west
With balaclava helmets over their heads, yes!

But if you think that jesus christ is coming
Honey you’ve got another thing coming
If he ever finds out who’s hi-jacked his name
He’ll cut out his heart and turn in his grave

Islam is rising
The christians mobilising
The world is on it’s elbows and knees
It’s forgotten the message and worships the creeds

It’s war, she cried, it’s war, she cried, this is war
Drop your possessions, all you simple folk
You will fight them on the beaches in your underclothes
You will thank the good lord for raising the union jack
You’ll watch the ships out of harbour
And the bodies come floating back

If the real jesus christ were to stand up today
He’d be gunned down by the c.i.a.
Oh, the lights that now burn brightest behind stained glass
Will cast the darkest shadows upon the human heart
But God didn’t build himself that throne
God doesn’t live in israel or rome
God belong to the yankee dollar
God doesn’t plant the bombs for hezbollah
God doesn’t even go to church
And God won’t send us down to allah to burn
No, God will remind us what we already know
That the human race is about to reap what it’s sown

The world is on it’s elbows and knees
It’s forgotten the message and worships the creeds
Armageddon days are here again

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

7. Jesus is here now

in the hearts of men and women who truly follow His path. Those who follow the path of hate create their own destruction.

[ProfessorPlum]

8. Just like Jesus meeting Torquemada and the Spanish Inquisition

in "The Brothers Karamazov". And, indeed, he'd be in just as much trouble today.

[ElectroPrincess]

9. I second that notion: Jesus was a Long-Haired Radical Socialist Jew

http://home.earthlink.net/~h2jukebox/mjdh.html#lsrj

-----

Long-Haired Radical Socialist Jew
by Hugh Blumenfeld

Well Jesus was a homeless lad
With an unwed mother and an absent dad
And I really don't think he would have gotten that far
If Newt, Pat and Jesse had followed that star

Refrain: So let's all sing out praises to
That long-haired radical socialist Jew

When Jesus taught the people he
Would never charge a tuition fee
He just took some fishes and some bread
And made up free school lunches instead
So let's all sing out praises to....

He healed the blind and made them see
He brought the lame folks to their feet
Rich and poor, any time, anywhere
Just pioneering that free health care
So let's all sing out praises to....

Jesus hung with a low-life crowd
But those working stiffs sure did him proud
Some were murderers, thieves and whores
But at least they didn't do it as legislators
So let's all sing out praises to....

(Modulate to A)

Jesus lived in troubled times
the religious right was on the rise
Oh what could have saved him from his terrible fate?
Separation of church and state.
So let's all sing out praises to....

Sometimes I fall into deep despair
When I hear those hypocrites on the air
But every Sunday gives me hope
When pastor, deacon, priest, and pope
Are all singing out their praises to
Some long-haired radical socialist Jew.

They're singing out their praises to..oooo..oooo..
Some long-haired radical socialist Jew.


© 1996 Hugh Blumenfeld/Hydrogen Jukebox Music

[Tux]

15. I doubt he was a socialist

When I used to read the Bible, he seemed to propose a reform to bring Judaism back to it's roots and away from coruption from the Roman Empire.

[jbnow]

12. Or as kristofferson wrote years ago

(and I'm not sure it has ever been truer even if Jesus probably was not a Capricorn)

Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.

'Cause everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

Eggheads cussing rednecks cussin' hippies for their hair.
Others laugh at straights who laugh at freaks who laugh at squares.
Some folks hate the whites who hate the blacks who hate the clan.
Most of us hate anything that we don't understand.

'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

[Greyskye]

13. If Bush ran against Jesus...

[Bake]

16. Dead on. No pun intended.

Rove & Co. are EXACTLY the kind of people Jesus ran into back around 30 C.E./A.D. They'd slime him and then kill him. Again.

Bake

[enki23]

17. if you see the buddha...

.

[imenja]

18. Hey, isn't Carnivale showing this very battle

Rove as Brother Justin? Could just be. You never know who might lurk in Sophie's womb.

I just reminded myself of that wonderful Yeats poem, the Second Coming. It's totally off point, but I'll post it anyway, just cause I love it.



The Second Coming -- W. B. Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.



Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

[nemo137]

19. I think Woody Gutherie said it best

"If Jesus were to preach
Like he preached in Gallilee
They would lay Jesus Christ in his grave."