Which is The Real Jesus?

[MineralMan]

Poll question: Which is The Real Jesus?

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[notesdev]

1. This

[MineralMan]

3. From Yaweh to Yoda, eh?

The Force is strong in that one.

[MineralMan]

2. Ginger Jesus. That one was a new one for me.

It would explain a lot, though, given the well-known conspiracy to make Gingers rule the Earth. Be afraid.

[handmade34]

4. The real Jesus said 'just help each other'...

My grandmother thought #1
Popular Mechanics thought #2
Evangelicals think #3
The cynics think #4
Unitarians think #5

I really like Jesus and unfortunately he has been exploited in order to control and manipulate.

[louis-t]

8. #3 looks Aryan. Oh right, the evangelicals....

:scared:

[zipplewrath]

5. I voted for 1

But I remember #5 from my youth. I always liked the idea of a laughing Christ.

[Warpy]

6. #2 got the coloring, hair and beard right

according to Revelations, the only place with a physical description and therefore highly unreliable. It's likely he did have a Jewish 'fro, though, instead of flowing locks and it's highly unlikely he was a pretty boy.

While I'd like to buy #5, there wasn't a hell of a lot of humor in those teachings and that Marlo Thomas flip kind of ruins it.

[Zebedeo]

11. You mean Rev. 1:14-16?

"His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance." Please explain how you think image #2 matches this description.

[Warpy]

13. That wasn't what the babble I had said

It wasn't white hair but hair like lamb's wool. That was the KJV, anyway, the one I read most recently. That would describe the texture of a Jewish 'fro perfectly.

If all 30 year old guys in the area had the same brown hair, the color would have been unremarkable. The "white hair" must've been put in by a bad translator referencing "Mary had a little lamb."

[Zebedeo]

15. Here's the KJV:

"His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;

And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.

And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength."



Pretty much the same as the NIV. The "like wool" is in the phrase "white like wool, as white as snow."

[Warpy]

16. Funny how I remembered it so differently

It turns out to be a cross reference in Daniel I remembered.

What in the world is a 30 year old dude in the Middle East doing with a platinum bleach job?

[Zebedeo]

18. I don't think that this is how He looked when He walked the earth.

It is John's vision of how He will look when He comes again in power and great glory.

"They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory." Matt. 24:30

[moobu2]

17. That is how someone might describe the sun

if they were to give the sun human characteristics. Since Jesus is the sun personified, its perfect.

[Zebedeo]

19. Interesting observation.

I see your point.

[sinkingfeeling]

7. I'll take #2 from the Discovery Channel's work.

[Igel]

12. That's how it's entered pop culture.

The point was that this is a reconstructed average, based on a few reasonable assumptions some out-and-out guesses.

The goal was an "average" resident of Palestina. Given that we don't know a lot about ethnicities at the time, it's a bit of a question. We know a bit about later changes, but not how all of them map on to things like nose shape and skin color.

Let's try the same thing, but transposed a bit. Let's take a skull from a resident of the US in 1860. Let's make reasonable assumptions given current skin colors and hair. Let's reconstruct that face.

Now, let's choose a target group. Let's say "Chinese." Then we make up some rather generic but pleasant looking Chinese faces and figures and present them with a question: "Which is the real Abraham Lincoln?"

It's likely that the generic American face will be more similar to Lincoln's than the typical Chinese face. However, the skull chosen may have been black or Indian. The choice of skin color based on current population dynamics might also be a bit off, or more than a bit. And if we didn't know much about ethnicities in the US, for example, about Harriet Tubman's ethnicity, we'd have to say that that average face was just as good a representation of her father. Or Geronimo.

The non-average component might be wrong; and what's judged "average" might not be average. So in Lincoln's case we know that he was much taller than average and had some other non-average traits. We know his ethnicity, so the "average" is likely to be too dark for him--and too late for Mr. Tubman. We'd be really wrong with our picture, trying to say anything more than it's an attempt to, with some assumptions and generalizations, achieve a representation of what the average person looked like.

[sinkingfeeling]

20. So? It's still 96% closer to reality than any of the others.

[BurtWorm]

9. Other

[IndianaGreen]

29. That's probably the most accurate depiction of Jesus

He was an observant Jew after all!

[moobu2]

10. Jesus wasn’t a real person

His character was made up like the many other mystical savior religions before him that didn’t really exist as human beings either. Jesus was the personification of the sun like all of them were so here’s what he looked like halo and all.



Here's the Pope with the sun (Jesus) on a gold stick.

[darkstar3]

14. Here's the most probable answer:

^^^Yup, that's pretty much it.^^^

[ZombieHorde]

23. Awesome. nt

[rrneck]

21. Nobody yet? Okay, I'll do it.

This Jesus is just as real as any of the other ones.

[deutsey]

25. Nobody fucks with the Jesus

:thumbsup:

[Amaya]

22. this one:

:evilgrin:

[Angry Dragon]

24. It is said

that as humans we are unable to look upon the face of god yet the church can tell us what he looks like. All these people that see Jesus and the virgin Mary in pieces of toast, on walls, etc. how do they know what they look like, how does the church determine if these are real images?? The church portrays itself as the keeper of god yet they have no idea what is real or imagined. I find this ignorant and arrogant.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

26. There's no independent evidence that he actually existed.

The Gospels were written after he died, not by anyone who knew him.

[Moostache]

27. Buddy Christ FTW!!!

There can be nothing more infuriating than White Christians who believe Jesus somehow teleported down to Galilee from freaking Norway!!!! Blonde hair, Blue eye Jebus? Yeah, riiiiiiight!

[Flipper999]

28. Number 3

I can't vote in this poll (joined too recently), but the cynical part of me has to choose pissed off Jesus. Especially since He and his Dad are planning on making a big pot of lava soup out of most of us on Judgement Day.